3,000 Bullets to Graceland

By Teddy Durgin
My friend Jay and I have this rather odd dream. One day, we're going to drive to Graceland and see all that Elvis Presley stuff they got. OK, that's not so odd. What is really weird is that once we hit the Tennessee border, we will only talk to each other as Elvis. And when we leave Tennessee, the second we hit the state line, we will instantaneously go back to talking to each other as we normally do. We won't even acknowledge the change.

It's a humble dream. To tell you the truth, we aren't even really Elvis fans ... at least not the kind that collect his records, dress up like him, or go to Graceland EVERY vacation. We just want to go one time, but do it right.

Never in our wildest Elvis fantasies, though, did we envision filling the trunk of my Chevy Cavalier with rifles and AK-47s. Never did we dream of detouring to Las Vegas to knock over a casino and steal millions of dollars. Never did these plans include going on the run and growing out our sideburns. But the new movie, 3,000 Miles to Graceland, does. Is it any good? Well, yes and no.

It's not at all what I expected. It's not a fun, kitschy, silly joyride through crime and mayhem, with Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner uttering lines like "Thank you very much" and "Gimme my pills, Priscilla." This is a film that earns its R rating, folks. Honestly, I am as de-sensitized to violence as anyone I know. I have seen so many people shot, killed, maimed, knifed, beaten, crushed, and blown up real good on the big screen than I can probably count. That said ... 3,000 Miles to Graceland is shockingly violent! I don't think I was disturbed by the level of bloodshed in the flick, just taken aback. Here's why.

If the movie has one crucial failure, it's that it does not set its criminal characters up well enough before the bullets start flying. The film doesn't lead up to a climactic casino heist to end the picture. The heist happens at about the 20-minute mark. The plot is five crooks dressed as the King of Rock n' Roll hit Vegas the same day an International Elvis convention is in town. Excellent disguises. How can the cops find their suspects if half of everyone in town is dressed as either the Young Elvis or the Fat, Nasty Elvis?

Of course, the plan goes screwy, and the five crooked Elvi (Christian Slater, David Arquette, and Bokeem Woodbine round out the quintet) are forced into a shootout. The problem is we don't really know these guys too well yet. We don't know whether they are meant to be sympathetic, outright cool, or downright bad. The Elvi start mowing down stuntmen dressed as security guards by the dozen. Blood splatters against slot machines. Roulette wheels are reduced to shards. Even a midget is gratuitously dispatched in the massacre.

The gunfight reaches Heat-like proportions. It's impressive to watch, but flat. In Heat, we have had two hours to get to know the characters. We didn't want to see the cops or the crooks die. In 3,000 Miles, the audience could care less. The rest of the picture turns into a fairly conventional road movie involving the two surviving crooks, straight-arrow Michael (Russell) and psychopathic Murphy (Costner), chasing the heist money as it changes hands numerous times.

3,000 Miles to Graceland is a movie of good points and bad points. I could spend several paragraphs on sentences that include the word "but" in them. The movie is a visual treat to watch, BUT the soundtrack is a disaster. The action scenes should have been scored with classic Elvis tunes, BUT instead they feature blaring techno, metal, and rap songs from the likes of Filter and other contemporary groups. Courtney Cox does an outstanding job as a white-trash, single mom who falls for Russell, BUT her character makes some really odd choices that just don't quite add up.

Ultimately, there is one reason to see this film, and that is the performance of Kevin Costner in what amounts to the movie's villain. Costner has never played a character like this in a movie, and it's really exciting to watch him pull it off here. He came close in A Perfect World, as an ex-con on the run, but that character had his soft edges. In 3,000 Miles, Costner's Murphy is absolutely sinister. He is a ruthless, cold-blooded psycho bully who is both the brains and the muscle of the operation. Honestly, I didn't think Costner could go this dark, but he does and it is a showcase performance. He never once softens Murphy, and the movie is alive every second Costner is on screen.

By contrast, Russell's nice-guy Elvis impersonator is less effective. We know that Michael is essentially good. How? Because during the heist, as his partners are obliterating the casino's security force and whatever gamblers get in their way, Michael politely knocks people out with the butt of his rifle. He shoots glass and chandeliers, not human beings. Russell actually played Elvis Presley in a 1979 TV movie directed by John Carpenter. He has some fine moments in 3,000 Miles, just not enough to make you pull for the guy to find some simpler life elsewhere. Without a compelling hero, the movie just kind of wanders.

Still, if you can stomach the heavily stylized violence (director Demian Lichtenstein cut his teeth directing ... you guessed it, music videos), there is enough in the movie to warrant a $5 matinee investment. I just wish the film had the same bounce and fun that its end credits have. As the cast and crew lists scroll to the right, Kurt Russell does a great Elvis lip synch as the rest of the cast dance with their guns and each other. After seeing this movie, I no longer want to go to Graceland and order peanut butter and banana sandwiches at every roadside diner in my Elvis voice. I wanna don a fake wig, sideburns, and sequined jumpsuit and knock over a 7-11!

I guess, in that way, the movie was effective. Are you with me, Jay?