Justin: J-Dawg, JrT Bitch, Ghetto Superstar.. ahh, where to start. I actually like Justin, alot. The boy is hot, no doubt about that. The afro has gotten a tad large, and will one day probably have its own zip code, but its aight. I like the bedazzled bandana look, I think its cute. Also, have you SEEN this boy dance? Can we say "SEX ON THE DANCE FLOOR?!" Ahh, he works it like no other. I'm waiting for the day he pokes an eye out with those pelvic thrusts of his. But anyways.. Yes, some people say he's arrogant, but look at it this way folks. If you were 19 years old, couldn't go anywhere without being attacked, and had to act nice ALL the time, you'd be pretty damn pissy too. I can assure you he loves us all, but there's only so much a boy can take. But yes, I do like Justin. I want to lick him. I want to touch him. I want to bedazzle his underwear. Case closed.

JC: Good ole' Crackmatic. Ok, to clear up a few things.. NO, I do not REALLY think JC is on crack. On the other hand, I think he's a very spazztic individual, and he needs to tone it down a bit. Sometimes, he frightens me. But its all good. Some of his little spazztic episodes are actually cute sometimes. Like on "Making The Tour" when he flew in on his scooter, bouncing up and down? I found that cute and amusing. He's hot. No denying that. I'd lick him. The way he's been dressing lately HAS scared me a tad bit. Whats up with the painted on pants? LOSE THEM PLEASE! He's way too SKIIIIIIINNY, the boy needs to EAT for crying out loud. He has nice arms, I'll give him that. Tank-shirts are cool, no matter what anyone says. GO JC! Anyways.. moving on, the boy can SING. Sing like no other. He could sit there and sing "I'm a Little Teapot" and I'd still be mesmorized. No one can aquire that talent, your BORN with it. JC got SKILLZ, thats all I gots ta say. So, yes, I like JC too. Spazztic seizures and all.

Chris: FuMan C in da HOOOOOOUSE! I love Chris, I seriously love him. He's freakin' hilarious. I want to hug him. I want to kiss him. I want to walk his dog. He's SEXY. Let's say it all together now: "CHRIS IS SEXY." Yeah, I say his jokes aren't funny, but thats for entertainment purposes people. In reality, I laugh at whatever Christo says. He could say "Hi, I'm Chris" and I'd probably still laugh. I love how he's so honest, and he doesn't put on airs for people. He is CHRIS, HEAR HIM ROAR! And, ya know, I like Chris' voice. They should really let him sing more often. LET THE POOR BOY SING GAWD DAMNIT! Back up Justin and JC, and let FuMan C SING! This is my plea folks. I want to hear my baby sing. Help me out here. Write Justin and JC hateful, anonymous, e-mails. Do whatever it takes. I'll give you a cookie :) So, in conclusion, I love Chris. I want to kidnap him and force him to stand in front of me and be funny all day long. I will someday mother his children, along with Justin's. 'Nuff said.

Joey: Ahh.. Sir Pimp-A-Lot. I have mixed feelings about Joey. Half the time I hate him for being so damn stupid, but at other times I find myself laughing at the doofus. His wardrobe is cause for some ridicule. I don't know where the hell he comes up with some of this stuff.. but its UGLY.. HIDEOUS.. RETARDED..Just.. NO. Even Justin and his "Retro Rhinestone Cowboy" outfits aren't as bad. Ok.. wait.. maybe they are.. but whatever. My personal opinion on our dear Joey Fatone is that he is somewhat dimwitted.. a little on the *cough* "flirty" side.. but all in all a good person. I'm sure he gets his fair piece of ass.. but what famous person doesn't? I really don't think he's as bad as we all make him out to be, but if Joey wasn't the whore of the group, who would be? Lance?! Hahahaha. Thats a funny thought.. So, in conclusion.. Joey may be a flaming retard, but I like him. I'd probably hang out with him.. granted I'd make fun of him the whole time.. but none the less.. I'd chill with him. And thats all I gotta say about that.

Lance: Bassmaster.. *snicker* Hmm.. what to say, what to say.. I used to hate Lance. He pissed me off. He has better eyebrows then I can ever HOPE to have and my lipstick would probably look better on him then it ever would on me. Then, for some reason, I began to like him. He was actually my favorite at one time. Weird, eh? I found myself making "I Love Lance" pictures with pretty little flowers around the border and hanging them on my wall. Ok, no, I didn't do that.. but that would have been hilarious. I think we all under estimate Lance. Ever since he got a tan and grew his hair, he thinks he's da shit. Well, he has a right to.. he's damn hot now. Whatever happened to little girly Lance? He suddenly changed over night. Saying such words as "shit" and "piss" were a daily occurence. Its just like.. whoa. But I like Lance. He amuses me. I like to look at him sometimes and just laugh. It keeps me busy. But anyways.. yeah, thats what I think about Lance. I'm not a Lance fan, but I'm not a Lance hater. I'm an in-between-y. Whatever the hell that is. You figure it out.

Steve: We all know him. He's the guy with the camera attached to his face. He's Joey's brother. He's STEVE. I've heard stories about him.. that he takes after Joey in the "whore" department.. and thats probably true, I frankly don't give a shit. Until he impregnates one of my family members, friends, or anyone in the general vicintity of me, I really don't care if he spreads the Fatone lovin' all around the world. He doesn't bother me. If I met him, I'd probably like him. Unless he had that damn camera attached to his face, then I'd have to shoot him. It wouldn't be pretty. But, like I said, I don't really mind him.. so, whateva. He's Steve, he's there, he's not near me, so I don't care. End of story.

Trace: I don't know much about Trace. All I know is that he's Justin's best friend and he also looks suspiciously like Justin. Its somewhat scary.. but whatever. If Justin likes to choose friends that look just like him, so be it. I also know he has his own clothing line (Trace This Clothes) WTF Trace?! 35 dolla bills for a fuckin' BANDANA?!?! Over-priced bastard. You know what? THOSE JEANS ARE UGLY. Ha.