But the 90s has brought new forms of meeting, greeting, choosing and maybe even dating, to the forefront. Dating services, personal ads, interactive voice mail..and of course the Internet. One need not look far to see sites dedicated solely to the purpose of hopefully playing the role of cyber Cupid. Those are the obvious ones, but lying just under the surface, is a sub-culture, common everyday people, from every walk of life, gathering together at one site, to talk or "chat" as the rooms are called. Normally these rooms are themed, to group people with similar interests together, to socialize. The reasons for people entering these rooms are as varied as the sites here on the Net, a way to kill time, a stress relief, necessity for information etc. These rooms could be a psychology students senior thesis when it comes to varying personalities and emotions. The aspect I am going to focus on is the search for companionship, those in search of that special someone, someone who will listen, support and be there for them. They may be compensating for something missing in their life, something they feel they can find in the glow of the monitor and the buzz of a modem. Somehow, somewhere, someone would understand them, lonely people who feel that they may lack what it takes to function in reality, so they retreat here, feeling that if they can't be seen, they can't be hurt.
But alas, that is a misconception, and actually a gross understatement. Emotions are emotions, whether shown in person, or typed on a page. Feelings are real, wherever they are, and wherever they come from, a monitor and some wires cannot hide nor dilute that, as a matter of fact, it enhances them. I have contended for awhile now, that too many people are bogged down by material impressions, exterior looks, etc. Granted, these are important, but they should not be the sole basis. Whether we know it or not, we judge someone within the first 10-20 seconds after we meet them, drawing conclusions, making decisions and assumptions about who they are and whether or not we want to be a part of them and let them into our space. This can be a good thing, and be correct the majority of the time, but it still is not fair. The person on the inside, the one past all of the dressing on the outside, the one that makes up the bulk of who this person is, that is what counts, otherwise you might as well be dating a mannequin. The key on here, is that we can control how we disseminate the information for the most part, but no matter what, in the long run, true emotions and feelings will come out, and given the intensity of the atmosphere here, and the length of time spent, and the things shared (since the barriers of external impressions are down, the feelings flow freely). Therein lies both the good and the bad. Some people here forget that honesty is still (as in reality) the key. No matter what reason they are here, or who they pretend to be, the longer the relationship goes on, the deeper the feelings become, the more important the truth is. This is where the problem can come in, by those who feel that they aren’t as attractive externally and therefore feel the need to "create" a personality and pass this off as who they are. But this can backfire the longer the relationship persists, and then by the time the "real life" meeting happens, the parties are disappointed. The one party, because they think that their beliefs have been confirmed, and thus furthering the complex, when in actuality, the real truth is the fact that the other party was upset for having been mislead. Dishonesty can make a person ugly on the inside, sometimes the first party doesn’t even know it, because the longer you pretend to wear a mask, the more permanent it becomes, until you can no longer take it off, and forget who they were in the first place. Only if the changes are honestly dealt with..and true, its this an acceptable thing. On the good side, the feelings shown, if dealt with honestly and openly, can be very intense and very real, because you are seeing the real person, inside, and things on here can be intensified for that reason, but still genuine, and can have a tendency to move at an accelerated pace, due to the accessibility and time spent here, and the openness forced by not being face-to-face.
I could ramble on this topic for a long while, but I am interested in hearing others thoughts and experiences in this matter, please Email me with your thoughts, experiences, etc. in this matter, tell your friends about this site, and visit often. This topic may be continued another time, thank you for reading.