In this special Supplement section, Lynne Stringer includes some stories and sayings which she has found to be inspirational. We hope you might too.

NB: Many of these stories can be found in the book Frogs In Cream
by Stephen Gaukroger and Nick Mercer, published by Scripture Union.

The Bible
The Bible is so good, if it isn't true, it ought to be!

No one ever graduates from Bible study until he meets its Author face to face.

An RE teacher asked a pupil, "Who knocked down the walls of Jericho?" "I didn't, sir. I was away last week." So the teacher went to the headmaster, "Who knocked down the walls of Jericho?" "I'm not sure," said the headmaster, "I'll come back to you on that one." The headmaster wrote to the minister of education. "Who knocked down the walls of Jericho?" he asked. Eventually he received the reply, "You just get the wall rebuilt and we'll see that someone pays the bill."

Brevity of Life
A notice from the obituary column: DIED: Salvador Sanchez, 23, World Boxing Council featherweight champion and one of the sport's best fighters; of injuries after his Porsche 928 collided with two trucks, just north of Queretaro, Mexico. A school dropout at 16, Sanchez once explained, "I found out that I liked hitting people, and I didn't like school, so I started boxing." A peppery tactician, he wore opponents down for late round knockouts. His record: 43-1-1. "I'd like to step down undefeated," he said last month, "I'm only 23 and have all the time in the world."

Change
The seven last words of the church: "We've never done it that way before!"

Character
Character is what you are in the dark.

Christmas
The most important part of Christmas is the first six letters.

Church Growth
Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

Those who aim at nothing are sure to hit it.

A slightly cynical minister, on his first flight in a Jumbo Jet, said that it reminded him of his church: several hundred people sitting back looking bored and a few stewards and crew members rushed off their feet!

Have you heard about the man who said he didn't intend to come to church again? He had only been twice. The first time as a baby they had poured cold water over him and the second time they joined him for life to a nagging wife. "Well,watch out," said the vicar, "the next time you come we may throw dirt in your face!"

Conformity
He who marries the spirit of the age is sure to be a widower in the next.
- GK Chesterton

Covering your tracks
A minister wrote: "Don't be surprised if you find mistakes in this church newsletter. We print something for everyone. And some people are always looking for mistakes."

The Cross
Our hope lies not in the man we put on the moon, but in the man we put on the cross. - Don Basham

Fanaticism
A fanatic is someone who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. - Winston Churchill

Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life, there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest time in his life.
This really bother him, and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me."
The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Forgiveness
An Episcopal church in the United States advertised what it had to offer: "In the church started by a man with six wives, forgiveness goes without saying."

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. - Oscar Wilde

Heaven
In our present condition the joys of heaven would be an acquired taste. - CS Lewis

Indifference
They came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak up for me. - Martin Niemoller, German pastor, victim of Nazi Concentration camp

Integrity
Why is it that men know what is good but do what is bad? - Socrates

What is morally wrong can never be politically right. - Abraham Lincoln

Life and the Spirit
Someone once asked Dwight Moody, the nineteenth-century American evangelist, "Have you been filled with the Holy Spirit?" "Yes," he replied, "But I leak!"

Marriage
The greatest thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Michael Cassidy

The average wife would rather have beauty than brains, because she knows the average husband can see better than he can think.

To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup, If ever you're wrong, admit it, If ever you're right, shut up!

A silly and childish game is one at which your wife can beat you.

Materialism
Let's stop loving things and using people, and start using things and loving people.

Meaning of Life
Mark Twain, whose literature has been enjoyed by many, became morose and weary of life. Shortly before his death, he wrote, "A myriad of men are born; they labour and sweat and struggle...they squabble and scold and fight;they scramble for little mean advantages over each other; age creeps upon them;infirmities follow...those they love are taken from them, and the joy of life is turned to aching grief. It (release) comes at last - the only unpoisoned gift earth had ever had for them - and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence...a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever."

Meekness
Seen on a church noticeboard: The meek will inherit the earth - if that's all right with you.

The Pastor
A minister's job is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable!

Persistence
By perserverence the snail reached the Ark.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. - Josh Billings

Potential
One can count the number of seeds in an apple, but one cannot count the number of apples in a seed. - Llandridod Wells Church magazine

Prayer
The nineteenth century Baptist preacher, Charles Spurgeon, was once asked, "When should I pray? Should I pray when I don't feel like it?" He replied, "Pray when you feel like it, because then God will bless you; pray when you don't feel like it, because that is when you need it most."

Principles
When a man approves of something in principle it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice. - Bismarck

Procrastination
The Devil doesn't care how much good we do, as long as we don't do it today.

Procrastination is my sin, It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it, In fact, I will - tomorrow! - Gloria Pitzer

Why put off till tomorrow what you can safely put off till the week after next?

Repentance
It was bank holiday weekend, and a long queue had formed at the petrol station. When at last it was the vicar's turn, the attendant apologised for the long delay; "They knew they were going to make this trip, yet they all waited until the last minute to get ready!" The vicar smiled ruefully. "I know what you mean," he said, "It's like that in my business, too!"

Salvation
A man fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out.
A subjective person came along and said, "I really feel for you down there."
An objective person came along and said, "It's logical that someone would fall down there."
A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into pits."
A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on the man's pit.
Confucius said, "If you had listened to me, you wouldn't be in that pit."
Buddha said, "Your pit is only a state of mind."
A realist said, "That is a PIT."
A scientist calculated the pressure necessary (PSI) to get him out of the pit.
A geologist told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.
A tax man asked if he was paying taxes on the pit.
The council inspector asked if he had a permit to dig a pit.
An evasive person came along and avoided the subject of his pit altogether.
A self-pitying person said, "You haven't seen anything until you've seen MY pit!"
A charismatic said, "Just confess that you're not in a pit."
An optimist said, "Things could be worse."
A pessimist said, "thing will get worse."
Jesus, seeing the man, took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.
- Kenneth D Filkins

Self Sacrifice
The trouble with a living sacrifice is that it keeps crawling off the altar!

He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he can never lose. - Jim Elliot

Sermons
Several years ago, the British Weekly printed a letter to the editor:
Dear sir, I notice that ministers seem to set a great deal of importance on their sermons and spend a good deal of time preparing them. I have been attending services quite regularly for the past thirty years and during that time, if I estimate correctly, I have listened to no less than three thousand sermons. But, to my consternation, I discover I cannot remember a single one of them. I wonder if a minister's time might be more profitably spent on something else? Yours sincerely...

That letter triggered an avalanche of angry responses for weeks. Sermons were castigated and defended by lay people and clergy, but eventually a single letter closed the debate:
Dear sir, I have been married for thirty years. During that time I have eaten 32,000 meals - mostly of my wife's cooking. Suddenly, I have discovered that I cannot remember the menu of a single meal. And yet, I received nourishment from every one of them. I have the distinct impression that without them I would have starved to death long ago. Yours sincerely... James Berkley

A sermon doesn't have to be eternal to be immortal.

Service
I take comfort from the fact that it was willing amateurs who built the Ark, whereas professionals built the Titanic.

Sin
Sin: putting worst things first.

You cannot play with sin and overcome it at the same time. - JC Macaulay

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, and the seventh praying for a crop failure.

Trust
Even if you think you have someone eating out of your hand, it's still advisable to count your fingers afterwards!

There's only one thing better than a friend you can trust, and that's a friend who trusts you.

Truth
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. - Winston Churchill

Worship
Seen on a church noticeboard: 'You aren't too bad to come in; you aren't too good to stay out!'

Young People
The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in the place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs and tyrannise their teachers. - Socrates, 469-399 BC

I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words...When I was young we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly impatient of restraint. - Hesiod, Greek poet, eighth century BC