Rating: PG
Pairing: B/R, with a little W/Gr on the side Disclaimer: I own nothing! Joss and Co, Mutant Enemy, Fox, etc owns everything
Distribution: The Finnatics and anyone I have given permission to use my fics may have it. Anyone else please ask first. Emmy may review.
Spoilers: Season 4
Dedication: To all the great people on the list, yes that means you!!!! Special thanks to Starcrossed, you inspire me to do better.
The swirls of silk and lace were hypnotic, the tight bodice did wonders for her slender figure, and the full skirt made her feel like a princess. She had never felt more alive and excited during her short life than she did when she was wearing this heavenly gown. In less then a week she would be "Mrs. Graham Miller," and it always brought a smile to her face when she thought of marrying the man of her dreams. They had gone through so much together--so many trials and changes-- that she had doubted on numerous occasions that they would get to this point in their relationship.
Everything was going perfectly--the bridesmaids dresses had arrived as ordered, Graham's tux would be fitted tomorrow, the hall had been booked, flowers ordered, and the invitations sent. Now, if only this woman would stop pricking her with the needle.
"Oh, Will!" Turning towards the voice, Willow didn't fail to notice the exasperated look the seamstress gave her. A smile covered her face as she noticed her best friend standing in the doorway of the changing room.
Buffy couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes at the sight of her best friend in a wedding dress. "You look absolutely beautiful!"
"You like?" Willow asked, grabbing the skirt, causing its multiple layers to billow out around her, and turning slightly, she presented Buffy with a back view of the dress. The seamstress moved away, seemingly satisfied with her handiwork.
"I more than like, its exquisite. Are you sure those buttons aren't going to pose a problem to Graham?" Buffy teased, motioning to the small pearl buttons running the length of the back of the dress.
"Nah, he's got nimble fingers." Willow said, blushing. Taking in the sight of Buffy's dress, she motioned for her to climb on the pedestal next to her.
The woman helping Buffy assisted her onto the large circle, adjusting the dress so that it fit Buffy perfectly. The deep burgundy did wonders for her tanned complexion. Willow's arm encircled Buffy's waist as they stood side by side in front of the mirror. "What about you? You like?"
"Very much. Much better than the hideous sea-foam green dresses Anya insisted upon at her wedding." Buffy visibly shuttered at the memory.
"I thought you two looked like celery sticks, quite amusing." Willow and Buffy turned to see Anya waddle into the room--her large tummy quite visible in the form fitting dress. She managed to make her way to a chair, carefully lowering herself despite the seamstresses' insistence that she needed to check the fitting. "It fits fine, leave it be!" Eight and a half months pregnant, Anya was not happy about being a bridesmaid. Xander had insisted, though, and with his promises of nightly foot and back massages, Anya had finally relented.
Turning their attention back to the mirror, Willow and Buffy drank in the vision before them. Buffy had always figured she would be married before Willow. She and Riley had been so close, but then...that didn't matter now. Buffy had been sure Willow wasn't ever going to get married-- especially after her involvement with Tara-- yet, here they were, preparing for Willow's impending marriage to Graham.
Willow always said that Graham had come out of nowhere, broadsiding her with love and devotion. It had come during a time in her life when she was hurting. She and Tara had grown apart--lies and deception on both parts having caused an irreparable riff--and then, one night, after an extremely heated argument, Tara had packed her bags and left for good. Willow, fearing the hurt and pain that seemed to be an inevitable part of any relationship, closed herself off. Riley had been the one to introduce Graham to Willow and he had formed an instant attraction to the small redhead. Despite her constant rebuffs, Graham slowly whittled his way into Willow's life and heart, his charm finally winning her over. That had all been before....
Buffy's eyes clouded over with unshed tears as memories began to overcome her and she fought desperately not to cry. Willow, ever the vigilant friend, did not fail to notice the tears creep into her friends eyes. "Oh, Buffy what is it?" She asked, pulling her into an embrace.
"I'm just so happy for you,"Buffy lied, and lowering her tone a little, she added, " and I must admit, a little jealous, too."
"Oh Buffy, your turn will come," Willow said, giving her friend a reassuring smile. The seamstress motioned for Willow to step down, leaving Buffy standing alone on the pedestal. Feeling the woman undoing the buttons on her back, Willow began taking her gloves off.
"I don't know, Will. What's the saying? 'Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." Buffy took one last look at her reflection, saddened by how alone she felt. Sighing to herself, she lifted the skirt before descending from the pedestal to follow Anya back into the changing room.
Willow watched as her two friends retreated and couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. She was feeling all kinds of happiness and her elation was the cause of a lot of Buffy's pain. Buffy, like most girls, had always dreamed of being someone's wife, but upon receiving her calling to be the Slayer, she'd shelved that girlhood fantasy, thinking she would never live long enough to see it fulfilled. Having reached the age of 24, though, she still held that dream close to her heart. Years ago she had come so close only to have things fall apart. Shaking her head ruefully, Willow concentrated on getting out of the gown, praying she wouldn't rip it.
**********************
"So, a quick stop at the Espresso Pump and then on to shoes?" Willow suggested, noticing Buffy was in desperate need of a pick-me-up.
"Sounds wonderful!"Buffy exclaimed with false enthusiasm, not wishing to rain on her best friend's parade.
Luckily, Xander had shown up to pick up an extremely moody Anya before they left the dress shop. The activities had worn her out and as they made their way out the door, Buffy and Willow heard Anya cursing Xander for putting her in her current condition.
Settling in around a table, Buffy sipped away at her cappuccino as Willow rattled off the plan for the week. "Now, remember Wednesday is the bridal shower at your mom's. We need to be there by..."
Noticing Willow had trailed off, Buffy looked up to find her friend starring, mouth agape, at something just behind her. Curiosity getting the better of her, Buffy shifted in her seat, turning so she could see exactly what would leave Willow so stunned.
Her body froze in soulful, aching recognition. There he was standing not even five feet away from her, leaning casually across the counter, ordering a coffee. He looked good-- in so many ways he still resembled the slightly goofy college boy she had fallen so utterly and completely in love with all those years ago. His blonde hair still fell casually across his forehead, he still wore the tight jeans that did wonders for him, and his arms--those arms that had held her so many times in moments of both sorrow and passion-- still made her yearn for his embrace. If anything had changed, it was his eyes--the beautiful deep blue depths no longer held that carefree light they'd once possessed. No, that light had been blown out long ago by her, only to be replaced by an empty heart wrenching sadness. As Buffy looked at him now, she found, to her great dismay, that the sadness had dissolved into cold, hard resignation.
Turning, coffee in hand, his eyes locked with hers. Quickly looking away, Buffy focused her attention once again on Willow, who was even now getting up to greet their old friend. "Riley!" The red head exclaimed with little girl delight. Buffy watched as her friend embraced Riley tightly and as his arm went around her in an answering hug, taking care not to spill the cup of hot liquid in his other hand.
"Willow, its good to see you." Riley smiled at the small woman his best friend had come to love. Turning to Buffy, he offered her a small smile, his jaw tightening characteristically as it did when he was angry. "Buffy."
No hug, no 'its good to see you.' All she got was a cold 'Buffy.' She deserved that though. "Hey!" Buffy said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Her eyes searched for something to look at-- anything but his steady gaze that was making her ten kinds of uncomfortable-- and she finally settled for staring at the empty styrofoam cup in front of her on the table as she heard Willow strike up a conversation.
"I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow."
"We caught an earlier flight. I thought we could do a little shopping before the festivities begin tomorrow." *God, he sounded so good!* His voice had always done wonderful things to her-- it was so soft and sweet and calming, always acting as a balm to soothe her oft troubled soul--and she got chills, even now, just listening to him speak. Caught up in her own thoughts, she barely registered what he had said until Willow pointed out an important fact.
"Umm...we?" Willow asked, greatly intrigued. Graham had never mentioned that Riley was bringing someone to the wedding.
"Oh, uh....I guess Graham didn't tell you." Before Riley could continue, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind and an attractive, brunette kissed him lightly on the cheek as he turned to look at her.
"Honey, I'm ready to go." Buffy felt her heart drop to her knees at the sight of him with another woman and she felt the stifling, overwhelming need to be anywhere but here.
“Jess, sweetheart, “ Riley said, taking one of the woman’s arms, and pulling her around until she stood in front of him as he proceeded to make introductions. “This is Willow, he said, gesturing towards the redhead. “Willow, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.”
A smile spread across the woman’s features as she eagerly grabbed Willow’s hand. “Willow, it’s so nice to meet you. I have heard so much about you that I practically feel like we’re already friends. Graham just raves about you. You’re all he talks about. Riley, she’s just as pretty as Graham described.” Jessica pumped Willow’s hand a few more times before she finally relinquished her hold. Turning, she noticed Buffy for the first time, and offering her a warm smile, she held out her hand. “And you are?”
“Buffy!” She said, taking the very bubbly woman’s hand. * This woman’s had one too many cups of coffee.* Riley’s girl was beautiful--there was no denying that. Every strand of her waist length brown hair was perfectly in place. Buffy, glancing at her, suddenly felt like she had a blonde rats nest on her own head. The woman’s pants suit was very stylish and had obviously been tailor made to accentuate her curves. The tank top and cargo pants Buffy was wearing made her feel like a scruffy teenager. Jessica’s face looked like it was sculpted from porcelain, with no visible flaws. The scratch on Buffy’s forehead that a Fungus demon had given her on last nights patrol, throbbed with every beat of her heart. The nails that tipped the slender fingers of the other woman were meticulously manicured. Buffy had broken most of hers a couple days ago crawling through the sewer tunnels while hunting for a vampire nest. A few inches shorter than Riley, she was his perfect match. Buffy’s 5'3" frame barely came up to his shoulders. Jealousy and embarrassment surged through Buffy’s veins as the woman grasped her hand, looking every inch the perfect, normal woman Buffy had always longed to be.
“Buffy, what a cute name. Are you a friend of Willow’s?” Jessica dropped Buffy’s hand and settled back into Riley’s arm. *The way his arm just went around her, it was so natural. They had been that way once.*
Buffy put on a smile, trying hard not to reveal her true emotions. “Yeah.”
“That’s nice. Riley,“ turning to him, Jessica played with the buttons on his shirt as she spoke, “I’m getting tired, what do you say we go back to the hotel for some alone time.” Buffy didn’t fail to notice the suggestive wag of her eyebrows. “It was nice to meet you both.” She said, grabbing Riley’s hand and dragging him out of the Espresso Pump.
“I’ll see you guys later.” Riley called back over his shoulder as they headed over to a rental car parked next to the curve. Buffy stared after them, watching as he opened the door for her, and as she brushed her lips across his before settling into the car. Buffy continued to gaze after the car as it sped away and around the corner.
“You okay?” Turning, Buffy saw concern etched across Willow’s face.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Buffy lied, trying to dispel Willow’s worries.
“Well, for one, you just saw your ex. And for two, you saw him with another woman. I don’t know about you, but I think I would be freaking.” Willow placed her hand on Buffy’s trying to get her to open up..
“I’m fine-- Riley and I haven’t been together for a long time. I never doubted he would have someone in his life.” Her words belied her true thoughts. She had always expected that, like her, he would find it difficult to move on, especially after everything they had shared. Oh, sure, there had been several men in her life since Riley had left, but none of them had ever held a place in her heart the way Riley had. None she would ever have brought to such a personal occasion as her best friends wedding. Truth be told, she missed him desperately. Buffy’s thoughts and dreams were still of Riley, but obviously, they were one-sided.
Riley was in an intimate relationship with a charming, beautiful woman. And she hated him for that. She hated him for capturing her heart so completely that she couldn’t escape. Buffy had liked to believe that she had also trapped his heart as well, yet here was another woman holding it tightly in her grasp. Sighing, Buffy tried to focus on Willow, wanting to make this week a memorable one for her friend. “So, shoes?”
To be continued
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