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Grammar and Usage of Standard English: Essay and Analyses · Exercise at the end of Chapter 4 in "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier"
Exercise at the end of Chapter 5 in "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier" · Song Lyrics Grammar Analysis
Exercise Requirement
It's your turn to detect and correct some passive voice. Reread the mystery at the beginning of the chapter, find all the passives, decide which ones are unnecessary, and then rewrite the story.
Original Version
The pile of case files was carefully laid out as Detective Pinkersolve decided which one should be tackled first.
A puzzling caper at the local museum of modern art needed to be solved quickly, so the facts were examined by her. Last night, everything was being prepared for opening day of the much-anticipated exhibition of self-portraits. It was discovered by the cleaning crew discovered that one painting had been defaced. When the crime scene was studied closely by the detective, it was revealed that a portrait of a man had been scribbled on with red crayon. It was decided a visit needed to be paid to the man whose self-portrait had been given mustache.
When the artist was interviewed, it was noted that his scruffy red mustache was the same as the one depicted by the self-portrait. When confronted, the artist explained that his painting had not been ready at the deadline, so the museum had been snuck into and some last-minute touches added. Although an apology was issued and a fine paid, bad press could not be avoided. Artistic success was never achieved, so career options were suggested and the case file closed.
Modified Version
Carefully, Detective Pinkersolve laid out the pile of case files to decide which one to tackle first.
She needed to quickly solve a puzzling caper at the local museum of modern art, so she examined the facts. Last night, everything was being prepared for opening day of the much-anticipated exhibition of self-portraits. The cleaning crew discovered that one painting had been defaced. Detective Pinkersolve studied the crime scene closely revealing a portrait of a man had red crayon scribbled on it. Pinkersolve decided to pay a visit to the man whose self-portrait now had a red crayon mustache.
While interviewing the artist, Pinkersolve noted that his scruffy red mustache looked exactly like the one depicted in the self-portrait. After confronting the artist, he explained that his painting had not been ready at the deadline, so he snuck into the museum and added some last-minute touches. The artist could not avoid the bad press even though he issued an apology and paid a fine. He never achieved artistic success, so the artist had to evaluate his career options. Pinkersolve suggested a few new ideas and closed the case file.
Trenga, Bonnie The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to solve the mystery of weak writing. Cincinnati: Writer's Digest Books, 2006.
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