"Ready.for.judgement.calls..."
"Ready for judgement calls..."
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Waking up in the morning, I knew I'd never make it through the day. I was too excited to see Taylor again. I took a quick shower, and threw on the basic uniform of plaid skirt, white collared shirt, and gray v-neck sweater. I had no permission to leave school grounds to see Taylor, so I figured I'd just have to seem him after school. I knew it was just a basic Thursday, but teachers were really strict about missing days.
I was excited to see Taylor, and decided just to head over there after school, without a phone call. I was sure no one would even be bothered by my presence. After the final bell rang, I made my way to the car, and sped over to the Hanson's.
Lightly knocking on the door, an over excited Mackie answered. "Julie! Hi! You came to see me?" He asked, food on his face giving to the fact that he had been eating an overfull bowl of macaroni and cheese.
I leaned down to hug him. "Of course I did... how long did you think I could stay away?" I squirmed from beneath my grips.
"Tay's in the kitchen." He told me, running back down the hall. I started to follow him before I noticed Taylor walking through the living room, and standing in the doorway. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"Nice outfit." He smirked, taking notice to the uniform I was doomed to wear while attending Smith.
Walking over to him, I wrapped my arms around his stomach. He was still stretching out, bending his arms over his head. He quickly kissed me on the lips.
"Six months and that's all I get?" I asked, smiling up at him.
I turned his eyes toward Isaac, acknowledging his presence walking down the stairs. Isaac realized he was in the way, and found it somewhat comical. "Hey, after all the groping I saw backstage at Maybee, I think you guys could handle another 6 months apart. Don't let me stop you, I've seen enough..." He said, walking down the hall.
"I thought you'd come see me last night." I said, walking over to the couch, leaning into the corner, and placing my legs in front of me. The pleated skirt made it hard to get comfortable.
"Well, I was..." He started, "but then I got tired. I fell asleep. You know how nice it was to sleep in my own bed?" He took a seat on the couch, leaning on the other end.
"You should've called me. I would've joined you..." I smiled nonchalantly. "How 's everyone?"
"Pretty good, I guess. Tired. Zoe's still sleeping. I'm surprised to see Isaac up, but he couldn't wait to go see Nicole last night. Zac's wide awake too, but I can't get this jet lag out of my system."
"Yea, Zac came and saw me last night." I stated.
"Really?" He stiffened a little, trying to cover it up after. "I thought he was gonna go see Erica."
"Well, he was, but he stopped in to see me at the Cline's. We talked about the trip a little more, but he seemed a bit reserved. Any clue why? I didn't get to hear much. I figured I'd just hear all about it tomorrow night at the party."
"Yea..."
While they were gone, they had been away from home during two major holidays, all three of the guy's birthday's, a parent's birthday, and two sibling birthdays too.
(Valentine's Day was also missed, which was more than enough for me. I hated it; me and Nicole had tried to spend as much time as we could together. It was sickening to go to the movies and see all the couples.)
We all felt it was only necessary to throw a huge party to celebrate everything, and the success of the new album. Taylor's 18 birthday had a lot to do with this party too. All family and friends were invited to our local bash, and a rather large room was rented at the local Marriott.
""That's gonna be a lot of fun..."
"I meant to talk to you about that. I don't know if I'm gonna make it-"
"What?! Why? It's your party..."
"I know. But there are things that I need to get done down at the studios, and I want to show those people that I'm committed."
"Tay, you can't do that. I'm sure Mercury will understand. If you miss this party your parents will kill you..."
"I know, it's just, I need to do this."
"What, am I just suppose to go without you?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"It's not like you don't know any of those people. It's like my whole family, and a ton of our friends. Sure my parents invited people from around, but you'll be fine. Go, have a good time."
"That's not the point. This was all put together for you guys, and you're not even gonna show up?"
He shrugged. "I've got some other important things to do."
"Maybe you should realize what priorities are."
"I have. That's why I'm doing this."
I rolled my eyes, standing up. "Yea well... I need to get going. I'm supposed to go shopping with Nicole to get something to wear tomorrow night. I'd invite you to go, but its not like it'll matter." I said, walking to the door, and opening it slightly.
He followed me, attempting to grab my hand before I moved any further. "Don't be mad Julie. I just need to do this." The phone rang in the backroom. I rolled my eyes again. "Don't move, I'll be right back." He said, quickly maneuvering out of the room, only to retreat with a cordless white phone in his hands.
"Mmmhmmm. I understand. No problem. How about 6:30, tomorrow night?"
I then realized he was confirming his plans for the studio tomorrow.
"Well, I was thinking we could do more mixing. I'm not sure if that all came out right..."
"I guess I'll get going. I'm only in the way-" I started, as he cupped his hand of the receiver.
"I'll call you, ok? Try and understand." He pleaded, as I nodded. Annoyance was not leaving my expression.
I tried to clear my head. I couldn't believe I hadn't spent more than a half an hour with Taylor and already we were fighting. How he could miss this party was enough of an annoyance. I just wondered what everyone else would say. All I had wanted was to spend a little time with him. The fact that I had gotten a simple kiss had bothered me a lot. When he didn't write, I thought he was acting distant. It was unlike him to act weird like this. And now, the little affection I'd received, and how he hadn't come and visited me. I was pushing all feelings inside that were saying something was wrong.
After picking up Nicole, we drove to the overly packed Woodland Hills Mall. Nicole liked it this way, but the mall was just not something I could usually get into. Especially overcrowded.
"So he isn't coming at all?" Nicole asked, after I'd explained what Taylor had said.
"Nope, I guess not. Something about stuff down at the studios. And he hasn't even told his parents yet. I swear, he's crazy."
"No kidding..."
"We got into a little fight about it. I can't believe he hasn't even been home 24 hours, and I've succeeded in causing a fight."
"Um, I don't think so." She pointed out. "He started it."
"Yea, well, I didn't need to go on about it."
"Hey, let's just shop ok? We'll find some cool outfits, and have an awesome time at the party. You'll have everyone else, you don't need Taylor to have a good time."
"I know, but-"
"but nothing. C'mon." She said, leading me into some store.
Trying on clothes takes more time than I thought. Anytime I thought something would look perfect as it did on the model, it always seemed to fail me. While Nicole found many things she liked, every time I walked into a fitting room, I walked out unsatisfied.
After about an hour of trying an insurmountable amount of clothes, Nicole introduced me to "Contempo Casuals." "Anyone can wear these clothes..." She was quite amused with grabbing clothes she felt would look best on me. I walked out with a plain short black shirt, and a black top that had a collar pulled close to the neck, leaving both shoulders completely bare. I even had to admit it looked nice.
We then retreated back to stores so she would decide on what to buy. I found myself sitting outside her dressing room, talking through the cracks. "So, did you have fun last night?" I asked. "I mean, I know I did, hanging out with Zac and all..." I added sarcastically.
"Actually, we did." Her voice dripped, implying they'd done more than talking.
I raised a brow. "Oh really? And what might that be?"
She stepped out of the dressing room.
"Oh c'mon Jules. You aren't that naïve, you and Taylor seem pretty close too." The smile on her face was bright.
I tried not the blush. "What, you mean sex? Actually we haven't..." I said, finding it surprising that this was the first time we'd really talked about this. Sex was a part of everyday conversation, but just not what we were doing.
"Geez... I would have thought Taylor and you would be... well, you know." She laughed as I gave her a look. "He's a 17yr old guy, his sex drive should be way up there!" She was using her arms as emphasis.
"Oh believe me. Taylor would surprise you; he's no angel. He's just waiting for the ok from me. You know, things got a little 'iffy' for awhile... anyway, so what are you trying to tell me. You and Ike have had sex? Since when?!" I sat up quickly.
"Um, like about a month before they left."
My eyes widened. "Whoa... how'd you know you were ready?"
"I dunno... kinda like a judgement. When you think you're ok, just go ahead. Why... you've been thinking about it?"
I looked at her, smiling. "I don't know. I guess so, while's he's been gone and all. But, I don't know if I should tell him. Or just wait for the right moment."
"Well, well..."
She walked out of her stall, giving a once around to see what I thought. "That's perfect." I said, watching her pick a fuzz of the red satin dress.
"You think so?" She asked, unsure.
"Trust me."
After changing, she paid for the dress, and we began walking back down the mall. "So... where to next?" She asked.
"I don't know. What time is it?" I asked, as she checked her watch.
"Hmmm... about 6:30 or so. We could get something to eat," She suggested as I nodded in agreement. "Oh my gosh, Julie, look." She said, as I followed her gaze to a blond girl.
Meegan. I'd been awhile since I'd seen her. She was hanging off the arm of another random guy from Union. "Well, I can tell you that's someone I haven't missed too much." I turned my attention to Nicole.
"Neither can I."
"Still looking perfect, no doubt. And, with yet another guy... I swear it never ends."
"Well, at least she found someone who didn't already have a girlfriend."
"Doesn't she ever get tired? Or bored of jumping from one guy to another? You think guys would catch on..." I noticed.
"You know what? Do you think Tulsa is spelled "a slut" backwards for nothing? The whole world knows about her! I swear the guys flock to her." She laughed, as Meegan looked onto us smirking. She gave a toss to her hair, and turned back to the endless giggling for attention.
After grabbing some food, we drove back to the dorms. We hung out in Nicole's dorm for awhile when the phone rang. Nicole was quick to answer it. "Hello? Oh yea, hold on..." She said, handing the phone to me. "It's Taylor." She stated.
"Hello?" I asked blankly.
"Hey. I've been calling you all afternoon, but you weren't there. I finally tried to call Nicole's, figuring you'd be over there anyway."
"I went shopping, remember? I told you that."
"I know. I just didn't think I'd take that long. I said I was gonna call..."
"Well, I don't exactly wait around for your phone calls." I quickly snapped back.
"I wanted to talk about the party-"
"This isn't the time. I'm hanging out with Nicole. We can talk about it later."
"Julie."
"What?"
"Please don't be mad. I want you to understand this. I don't want to start fighting, I haven't even been home that long."
"I know," I softened my tone. "But, call me later, ok? I still don't want to talk about this now."
"Ok... I'll call you around 9. That alright?"
"Yup."
"I love you."
"love you too... bye." I placed the phone back on the receiver, turning my attention back to Nicole.
"Ouch Julie, remind me not to ever skip out on plans we make. You aren't gonna let him get away with this easily are you?" She asked.
"Not exactly. I'm so annoyed. We did a lot for this party too; I mean, with reservations, and all the invitations, and what not. We worked so much on this. He doesn't need to think he can just skip out without anyone being mad."
"That's true. I think I'd kill Ike if he did." She smiled at me, just as her roommate Melanie walked in.
"Hey guys," she smiled, throwing her bag down, and sitting on the bed opposite of Nicole's.
The dorm rooms were all basically the same. They were fairly large, they had to be. The tuition was so much, it had to go to something. On one side of the room were two beds opposite each other against the walls. Each had a nice little headboard with what seemed like a little bookshelf headboard. We each had our own dressers, with mirrors. There was a TV and small couch like fold out thing in the middle of the room. There was a small halfway wall, which led to a kitchenett area. In there was a mini fridge, microwave and a few cabinets. There was no way they'd ever give us a stove though, we were required to eat at the halls. Separate from the rooms was a full bathroom. Nothing like an apartment, but nice enough to live in yearly.
"What's up?" I asked, as she searched through her bags.
"Nothing, did you have fun shopping?"
"Yea, we got some really cute things. Have you figured out what you're gonna wear yet?" Nicole asked. Through planning and all, Melanie had suffered through enough phone calls of RSVPs. We'd decided to invite her along too.
"Yea, it's a really nice blue dress. I'm hoping that I can pickup one of those cute friends of theirs. I mean, they are gonna be there, am I right?"
"Mmmhmmm..." I nodded. "but, I better get going. I have to get some homework done." I said.
I wasn't home for that long before Taylor called again.
"I thought you were gonna call me at 9?" I was trying not to sound annoyed, but with the party and all, I just couldn't help it. He just didn't seem to care about everything that was being done for him.
"Well, I was, but can I help that I wanted to talk to you sooner? It just pushes me..." He said sweetly, trying to clear up some tension.
"That was corny."
"Can't help it."
"Yea I bet."
"So..."
"So what?"
"We didn't really get to talk much today. Tell me some things I missed while I was gone. Anything?" He asked.
"Well, nothing really changed. The big things we talked about were on the phone. I live here, my parents are gone. What else?"
"I don't know... is there nothing else we can talk about? What about college? Have you heard from any colleges, did you apply anywhere else?"
"Well, Oral Roberts rejected me-"
"Sorry." He stated, soothingly.
"Its ok, that's the only college I've heard from besides letters about receiving applications. The only other places I applied to besides in Oklahoma were NYU and Dartmouth." I answered.
"Why so far away?"
"Cause they have good teaching programs. I want to go somewhere good."
"I have no clue what I'm gonna do."
"Well, just worry about it when they time comes. Isaac took a year off, you could too."
"I know. You shouldn't go till next year either. Then when we travel, you could come too."
"Nah..." I discarded the idea without a thought.
"Why not?" He asked, not liking the fact that I just shot down what I'm sure he felt was a great idea.
"Because, going to college is something I've wanted to do. I'm not gonna take a year off."
"I guess so."
There was silence for awhile. I listened to him breath, I could tell if he was pensively thinking, or just plain bored with talking.
"Oh, I told my mom about missing the party." He stated, breaking the silence.
"Really? What'd she have to say about it?"
"She's pissed. I mean, she's disappointed in me for just deciding not to go."
"I wish you'd rethink your decision."
"If I didn't already think that going down there was that important, I wouldn't."
"But this was important to me for you to come. I mean, I may know some people, but not that many. I was hoping you could introduce me to them. It was suppose to be really nice."
"I know it's important to you; My mom can introduce you to those people though."
"It's not the same. I really wanted you to come. You don't know how much I've looked forward to you coming home, and I thought we were gonna have a lot of fun tomorrow night."
"I know, me too..." I sensed reluctance in his voice. "But this is the stuff I need to get into... you know," he changed the subject, "it was so good that I got to see you this afternoon. Even if it was only you were here for a little while."
"I know."
"We'll spend time this weekend, I promise. I haven't even got to see your room yet. Is it full of pictures of me, plastered everywhere?" He joked.
"Yea right. You aren't anywhere in here..." I lied, smiling. Sitting on the couch, I looked around. Though it wasn't plastered with his face, it was apparent who my boyfriend was. On my mirror, in my bed headboard, and hanging on the wall were pictures of us. Though there were some of me and my friends, and me and all three of the guys. Kelly had things such as pictures littered around the room, but not as much as me. Taylor never really cared about pictures. He didnt think they made much sense. Any picture he had of us was from me, or his mother. I picked up the one closest to me on the small table. Mrs. Hanson had given it to me. It was framed of him and me last summer at the beach. He had his arms around me, wrapping us both in one of their cheap white towels. I was leaning back against him. His hair was stringy, wet, and dripping. The sunlight caught it all.
"Uh huh, we'll see about that." Taylor knew I was infamous for taking pictures of everything, and placing them everywhere I could.
"Listen, I better get going-"
"Why?" He whined, over-exaggerated.
"Cause I have work to do..."
"So, do it tomorrow." He stated simply.
"It's due tomorrow."
"Ok... will you be able to talk again later on tonight?"
"Geez Taylor," I laughed, "What else is there to talk about?"
"I don't know, just things..."
"I probably wont be done till late tonight."
"Please..." He asked again.
"Sorry, it's a lot."
"You aren't still mad about me not going, are you?"
"I'm not really mad at you, just at the fact that you're missing it."
"I'm sorry."
"I know, don't worry about it."
"Call me tomorrow night when you get hone, its ok if it's late. My parents hooked up a phone in our room, so I'll just keep it near me."
"Ok, I will." I replied, shifting my position on the couch. At the moment, Kelly walked in.
"Hey Julie!"
"My roommate's here... So I'll call you tomorrow night. Bye,"
"Night." He said, before I heard him hanging up.
"Who're you talkin to?" Kelly inquired, opening the fridge and grabbing a drink.
"Taylor..." I smiled.
"Oooh... how cute. Can't wait to meet him, are you gonna bring him in here anytime soon?"
"Yea, sometime this weekend. How was Adam's?"
"Great, as always. I really need to take a shower though. I feel all gross. I decided not to go to school today, so I stayed with him. I knew there was always one perk about this school. As long as you don't miss like 3 days in a row, or don't miss school all the time, they don't care. They don't call your parents. I love it." She smiled, retreating to the bathroom, as I turned all my attention back to my work.
That didn't last too long. My mind traveled to what had been bothering me for the last few months. Isaac had always said I thought too much, and called me on it every chance he got. Something was different about Taylor, and I knew it. I knew he'd had his moments of kindness while he was back; but it's almost like I could sense it. He was distant. The small kiss I got at his house proved it. Isaac may have been in the hall, but Taylor wasn't the shy one. He never cared about PDA. Especially in his own house. Maybe near his parentst, but certainly not near his own brother.
I pushed it out of my mind as much as I could, throwing myself back into my studies. I needed to get an A on this anatomy test tomorrow. Thinking of Taylor wasn't gonna help.
"What Happens Now..."
Email: writerjul@hotmail.com
