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The brush fires swept through W.Mass this past week
and I actually found the instinct to pack up a few
things to take with me after watching a large one
on Tekoa Mountain, creeping toward us. The smoke
killed my lungs. The fire is out now; I can't even
imagine the burnt trees up there. And to think a man
died fighting the fire. Everything worked out wonderfully yesterday in getting to the formal. I got my hair washed and cut before I made a stop at the package store to get some Bacardi and then home to start getting ready for the evening. JMF arrived an hour before we had to leave, so we weren't rushed and we were able to drink enough to feel a good high beforehand. My friends drove us; we were looking so fierce, JMF with a blue blazer and khaki pants, and me with my black velvet cocktail dress. The place, Chez Josef, was beautiful. It could have been set for a fairytale, with chandeleers and looped strings of lights through white mesh. And seeing people I hadn't seen in a while was fantastic to introduce JMF as my fiance. I did greet the president of the college, while in a silly and over-confident way, saying, "You met my internship boss. I just wanted to say you are doing a fantastic job promoting internships. I wanted to make the connection." Shit, man. I was thinking about what I said to him as I crouched in the bathroom early this morning, trying to think, my breath must have smelled like rum, but did my voice inflect drunkenness? Fate twisted its way into the evening. Our table was near my good friends from last year with whom I hadn't spoken in months, and J. saw a friend from childhood with whom he hadn't spoken in eight years. Seeing Eric, his friend, made J. so happy and giddy like a 9 year old girl. It was sweet. This morning, we woke up together and lay just breathing each other in, and enjoying our waking bodies together. We found an apartment today, too! Mid-May, J., Andrea, and I will move in together in the hilly farm lands of Western Mass. Although Andrea couldn't come to look with us, we looked at 4 places and decided we would love to take this 2 bedroom, open, large, newly applianced and carpeted apartment in a beautiful area. It's not too far from campus and town, but just far enough for quiet and privacy. It's so exciting! I'm confident because I got a response in the mail from a place I applied to as a proofreader. They sent me a test to see how well I proofread. So, I have the dictionary open to the proofreading symbols page and I'm going to strap down and do that. I feel more confident about the uncertain future. J. and I are understanding each other more, and see through our stress. I love him so much. |
Watching: The beginning of What Dreams May Come |
