My TheoriesOkay this is the place I'm going to post my theories about the group. I hope to tackle the really tough issues, you know the ones that really matter...Right...
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Chris and his...Um...Lovely hair style...
All right, I have two theories as to why Chris would choose to wear his hair in that most wonderfully...interesting style. You've got to admit that it does absolutely nothing for him, yet he persists in having them re-braided when they get all ratty. I honestly can't imagine why he would ever even think of putting those white things (what does he put in there?) in his...Well what exactly are they? They aren't dreads, he hasn't put all that crap necessary to make his hair form dreads, they aren't corn rows because they are loose not braided closely to the head... I just guess that they are braids...As girly as it is to say he wears his hair in braids...He looks like he can't quite make up is mind to be a little girl or not...Seriously put him in a dress with those braids of his in pigtails...The way he's sportin' his hair now I wonder how it is that Lance is seen as the effeminate one...I can see it now ...Chris has decided to become Christina? That's an interesting thought there...But I must digress I seem to have wandered a little bit from my original thought. I have two theories. Theory number one, Chris actually is married as he occasionally claims. Okay, wanna know why I think this... Well just think about it for a few minutes, it makes sense If you'll recall his appearance for the European tour, he actually looked good!!! The way I see it is that since he is now "off the market" so to speak, he want's to make himself as unattractive as possible...Hence the braids...And his The Boy Band Formula Okay I have a new theory...Are you ready for it? Okay here goes, this is my theory about "boy bands" in general, you know where they come from, their structure, etc....I've noticed that there seems to be a formula out there somewhere, it's a very popular formula at that. The result of said formula is the highly successful boy band. Let's see you take five, sometimes four, semi-good looking guys....Wait just hear me out!!!!!!! It can't be just any four or five guys, there are specific categories that need to be filled. And if the guy doesn't fit his assigned role, then that's what all those stylists are for, they are there to make sure that each guy fits his role to a T. The first is the easiest to identify, the young heart throb...He gets most of the leads and has to be blonde, if he isn't naturally blonde then hair dye works wonders and is acceptable: Joey, Nick, and Justin...see any resemblances? Then there is the resident gay guy, he is chosen to be just a little too feminine and is generally made fun of by all: Jordan, Howie, and Lance. The next type to be filled is the playa...he's the one that gets all the....um....how to phrase it delicately...."action"...That's as Okay here is my new theory...Well it's not exactly a theory, but that's just too bad. Any way tonight I'm tackling the issue as to why Lance looks so effeminate. Besides the usual excuses, the camera is unkind to Lance's manly features...Which is more than true, I put the blame on two main things. This first being their European debut album...Um...Yeah...What were they thinking? That pic just really, really, really skeeves me out!!! I can't look at it for too long. It's just plain creepy. Now not that there is anything wrong with that girl, she just bears an unfortunate resemblance to a certain male bass singer in a certain boy band that we all know and love...Now you've got to admit that this pic is doing nothing for poor Lance circulating around the net the way it is. This si the main reason, I think, that Lance is often referred to as the effeminate one or the girly one where he is probably nothing of the sort. The camera also isn't too nice to him, he probably looks just as masculine as the other guys in person. Now I can't swear to this as I have no connections to the guys themselves and have never seen them up close and personal, but I think it's reasonable to think that the guy is just as masculine as the other guys...how else would he get into a boy band? Aren't there strict guidelines that should be adhered to when creating the boy band? (i.e. see above) I think we should just leave him alone for a while. Maybe he's been spending some time at the gym and the at their next public appearance he will be jacked and so masculine that we'll wonder what happened to Lance and where they got that new bass...Heehee...Right.... My theories as to: Why Justin is the "most popular" Why Joey has such a sleazy reputation Why JC is to uptight Why this group is so popular Why diehard *NSYNC and BSB fans are mortal enemies Heehee I like having a place to air my theories...This will be fun... Any Questions? Or suggestions for the site? Mail Me! Take Me Home! |