I have been going through a rough couple of weeks. I had computer problems for a while and couldn’t get any entries up. I did hand write some, and if I can get up the ambition I’ll put them here eventually.

I’m very depressed. Things seem to be spiraling out of control in every aspect of my life. I’m upset with the chorus and events that are going on there, and am questioning whether or not I should stay.

It is such an emotional thing for me.

I haven’t heard from Michael in almost two weeks, and I don’t know why. He’s just totally stopped answering any of my e-mails.

It makes me feel so small and insignificant and insecure.

I hate it.

And I’m hurting because of it.

Work has become on battle after another. I am trying to keep the peace with parents, teachers, administrators and no one likes any of my answers. In spite of the fact that they are all of my best efforts.

I don’t know how to make any of it right, and no one seems to be willing to help me find the answers.

I have again been denied the transfer to regular education that I so desperately want. The principal won’t even consider it.

I am depressed beyond words about this one.

And to top it all off, tomorrow is my birthday. Granted at this age they don’t mean as much as they once did. But I still would like it to be a happy and non-stressful day.

One filled with good wishes and bon mots. I don’t care about gifts; I just want to be happy for a full day.