I literally spent the entire day at my mother’s doing laundry. Well from about noon to four thirty.

I didn’t even have that much to do, but someone had set the dryer on the wrong setting and NOTHING was managing to dry.

At first I was attributing it to the fact that it’s been so wet around here that the dryer couldn’t handle drying, but then I realized that that was a really stupid thing to think, and it dawned on me to check the settings.

Sometimes I can be so stupid.

I was alone in the house as my mother and brother had gone up to Northampton to visit my mother’s friends and to go to Yankee Candle. I think my brother really wanted to go to the cemetery as well. I’m not sure my mother really wanted to go, but Rod hadn’t been there since the funeral.

For some reason this family has the need to go to the cemetery. I know some people can go overboard and go every day, but others never go. Dee is an example of someone who never goes. Her mother died ten years ago and she has never, ever been to the cemetery even once.

For me I need to go every now and then. I think it’s an ingrained thing as we have always made sure that the graves are tended at the holidays.

Shrug.

I forced myself to spend time in the den that had been my father’s favorite place to hang out.

This was really hard to do, but I needed to overcome my feelings about it.

I’m not sure I succeeded. While I stayed down there, and watched television and folded my laundry, I kept glancing at his chair, feeling as if he was sitting there watching me. And irritated that I was using the water to do my laundry.

I couldn’t bring myself to sit in his chair either.

but I guess I made headway if I was able to be alone in the house and in that room. That’s not to say I didn’t spend some time crying.

I did.

I did like being alone and inaccessible today.

No one knew where to find me, so I didn’t have to think about ringing phones or lengthy conversations that rehashed the same old stuff.

It was peaceful.

I went to the vet to get the very expensive prescription cat food, then went to the very fancy supermarket. I’m feeling very cheap, though, as I didn’t buy anything that was at all expensive or luxurious.

This store has all sorts of salad chefs, seafood chefs, a sushi bar, a gourmet deli, and lots of prepared foods, but they are all expensive and it made me think twice about how much I really wanted what they were selling.

I limited myself to a calzone for tonight and a Mexican thing for tomorrow.

What a dud.

Tonight I watched the Democratic convention and thoroughly enjoyed it. I was impressed with Lieberman’s humor and with Gore’s daughter.

I made a couple of bracelets while I was watching. I think that I may be the only person in the world who can’t be bothered to watch "Survivor".

That show irritates me.