This chapter is from Danny’s POV
You're the bravest of hearts, you're the strongest of souls
You're my light in the dark, you're the place I call home
You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside
I see it in your eyes
Even you face the night afraid and alone
That's why I'll be there
---Celine Dion, “If That’s What It Takes”
Throwing my jacket on the chair, I sink into the couch, trying to ease my frayed nerves. It had been a long day.
Things at the community center had taken longer than I had expected, so I had been late to a meeting with Philip Spaulding.
What a way to make a first impression by being late. Philip had always been known as tough businessman, but luckily, he was understanding about my tardiness. The meeting went well enough.
The Spauldings were one of the most powerful families in Springfield, and I knew that by having a chance to work for them would be good for me. Mama would never want to alienate Alan Spaulding.
Plus, this could be the only way to break away from under Mama’s thumb.
I had to leave. Being a mobster just wasn’t for me. The violence and the threats were being to take its toll on my sanity. I envied Ray sometimes for being able to find a way out. I just wish that leaving the La Familia would be so easy, but nothing was simple when it came to my family.
Nothing.
I had to fight tooth and nail just to convince Mama that I should move out of the house. She had resisted saying that my grandmother needed me. The desperation in her voice was laughable. My Grandmother had been the one who suggested that I find a place to live.
Only Mama would stoop so low, and use my wonderful Grandmother as leverage. Finally, she had given up when she realized that I was not changing my mind. The harder that she would push, I would push even harder. I would play hard ball with her until she relented.
And she knew that. I would have beaten her at her own game. Afterall, she had taught me that when I was younger. Mama had always emphasized my role in the family. I was being groomed to take over the family business. There was no debate. The Santos empire would be controlled by me in the new millenium.
I would do anything right now to resist my future. So, when I learned about this opening at Spaulding, I jumped at the chance to try something new. It could be my ticket to a normal life. My interest in the position had to pique Philip’s interest. It was not everyday that a Santos wanted to work for a large mostly legitimate business.
Still, I had been expecting Philip to just laugh at me, and show me the door. Surprisingly, he had called me back, and set up an interview. I would have to jump hoops to prove that I was a loyal employee but I was willing to do if it meant my freedom.
Come hell or high water, I was going to make the Santos name respectable. I wanted to be a businessman that people respected and fought to get on their side. It was time to show people that I was different. This job would give me the opportunity.
It would also give you a chance to show Rick that he was wrong. You can prove that you are better than your mother.
In the back of my mind, I had found this job appealing because it would give me a chance to show my ex brother-in-law that I was more than a mobster. It was no secret that Philip and Rick were best friends. Michelle had always talked about Philip being like an uncle to her. Abby and Harley Cooper had become very good friends too.
This job was beginning to look better and better. There would be no avoiding socializing with Rick and Abby especially since Rick was Philip’s best friend. I am sure that Rick would not be too happy of my arrival at Spaulding, but Philip would probably just keep me to stick it to Rick. Also, I had to admit that it would be nice to be accepted by a major family in Springfield, because it could open so many doors.
It was time to prove the citizens of Springfield wrong. I had to show them that I could make a name for myself on my own without my mother or Michelle.
Michelle.
Sighing, I get up from the couch, and walk into the kitchen, to search for a glass. As I rummage through the fridge, my mind wanders to earlier today.
For six months, I had managed not to think about her. Instead, I poured all my energy into moving and finding a job. At night, those fragmented dreams still haunted me. Michelle had always been in the back of my mind. Still, it was still hard to go out anywhere without hearing her name.
It was just my damn luck to happen to have married one of the most adored people in Springfield. No matter where I went, there was at least someone who knew Michelle. Now, I can manage to hear her name without having my heart shatter into a million pieces. The anger and bitterness had already began to subside and the pain had settled in.
Any mention of Michelle always affected me but it comforted me to know that I would not see her again. But seeing her today, all those old feelings had begun to resurface. I had finally come to terms with her betrayal.
Still, being in the same room with her, the wall around my heart was crumbling. And it heightened my confusion. I knew that I didn’t hate her anymore, but still, there were so many emotions attached to Michelle, that I hadn’t been able to sort through them all.
The only emotion that I could put on my finger on was sadness and a tinge of regret. As Michelle stood in front of me, I realized that I regretted that the circumstances that had brought us together. I no longer regretted bringing her into my life. It was regret that we didn’t have a better start.
Wishing that the past had been different was not going to do any good. I am sure that is the least of Michelle’s concerns right now. She was dealing with one of the most difficult things in her life.
I had remembered when she had opened up to me about the fire and going blind. As she told me the story, the emotions just became too much for her. It was like she was reliving the whole thing all over again that afternoon.
Now, she actually might be reliving it. This struggle must be taking its toll on her. In the few minutes, I had seen her, it was obvious that the old Michelle had disappeared. I had barely recognized her from afar. She had lost a lot of weight and her youthful face was been replaced by tired lines, and weariness. Her body seemed to reflect a sense of resignation and defeat. It was like she had finally accepted her fate and was too tired to fight it.
Dr. Howard. That was the name of the woman who came over to us. Ever since, Michelle left me, that name had been bugging me. I knew that I had heard of it before I could not think of where. As I was driving home, it finally dawned on me. Dr. Howard was a well known therapist. No wonder Michelle was seeing a therapist, this whole orderal must be so hard for her. It must be hard to keep up your spirit when you might be going blind.
Michelle doesn’t deserves this. She had always been so full of life. It pained me to think of the affects this has had on her. The one thing that struck me about Michelle was her eyes. Her eyes always had this sparkle to them, a spark. The spark was gone. It had been replaced by uncertainty and weariness.
Oh Michelle, there must be a way for me to help you. I need to show that I still care. You are so alone, and you need someone.
I just wonder if I could help.
I want to help you.
I don’t care if it is the wrong thing to do. I love you Michelle.
My head is telling me not to do this, but deep down, my heart needs to do this.
I just want to help you.
But how?
*You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain
When your heart's crying out, baby, whisper my name
'Cause I've reached out for you when the thunder is crashing up above
You've given me your love
When your smile like the sun that shines through the pain
That's why I'll be there
When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end
I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break
Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes
I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed
I will lay down my life, if that's what you need
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
---Celine Dion, “If That’s What It Takes”*
Next Part
Back to Aftermath Page
Back to Main Page