Aftermath Part 30

Three weeks later

When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow
'Cause love's gonna conquer it all

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is
---Celine Dion, “That's The Way It Is”

Well, I almost did it. I had almost made it these three weeks without giving Danny Santos a second thought. I had come so close.

But yesterday, my resolve had finally faded. All my strengthen was drying up fast. All day I had eyed the phone, hoping that it would magically ring. I knew that Danny would not call me. How times do I have to push him away before he would just not come back.

Yet, this time, he was willing to stick around. I was touched that he could put his hurt and anger behind him and be so kind to me. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve Danny.

After lunch, I finally couldn’t take it and decided to call Danny. My hands were shaking so badly that it took me five times before I could dial the number.

Then I almost lost my nerve when Danny actually picked up the phone. I felt like I was a teenager asking their crush out on a date. It was so ridiculious.

Just hearing Danny’s voice choked me up, and soon all the emotions that I had been fighting, came pouring out. Within ten minutes of hanging up the phone, Danny was standing in the kitchen, and holding me as I sobbed.

I had only made it through yesterday because of Danny. He had such a soothing presence. It was like all my worries and fears flew out the window. For over three hours, Danny had stayed with me, and talked to me.

Danny and I had never talked before. It was so nice. It was so normal. “Normal” is one word that I would have never used to describe my relationship with Danny. Nothing about our marriage or relationship had any familiarity to it. We had always been fighting each other or someone else.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to experience doing something “normal” with Danny. All the tension, which had always been present in our marriage, was not there. I could feel a slight awkwardness between us. We still didn’t know how to act around each other. We had never been friends before, so it was a little strange, but we seemed to ease into those roles rather well.

I have no expections about Danny anymore. I am just trying to enjoy our new found bond. It would be really wonderful if Danny and I would be able to start over again as a couple, and recommit to each other, but I am not counting on it. I didn’t want to scare him away. Danny would slip away from me again if I pushed too hard.

There was one thing for certain, I was not going to lose Danny again. Even if we would never get back together, I wanted him in my life as a friend. Still, I wondered if it was possible to ‘just being friends’ with Danny Santos.

This could be harder than I thought, but so worth it. So worth it.

Or was it?

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