It took me three hours and about 50 sheets of paper but I did it.

I should be relieved that it is done but I just feel empty inside. I was hoping that I could gain some peace of mind but it has only made me feel worse.

Aleast this one is not soaked in tears. But I can't cry anymore. All I have been doing for the last three weeks is cry. I cry myself to sleep and wake up every morning to tear soaked pillow.

I know that I am taking the coward's way out. I just could not deal with this pain in person. It was bad enough in private. It would not matter anyways. In the end, nothing would be different.

There had been so much to say, and yet, there were so little words. There would never be enough time or words, or tears for what is in my heart. It was impossible to shrink it down to four pieces of paper.

Yet, somehow, I had managed to say everything that I should have said earlier, and everything that I will say in my mind for the rest of my life.

The four pages don't do justice to my relationship with Danny. No words or actions will never be the real thing. Nothing will capture it.

Nobody will ever be Danny.

There will not be another Danny in my life.

With trembling fingers, I begin to fiddle with my wedding band. Tears spring to my eyes as I feel the texture of the gold band on my finger.

The tears grow louder and more tortured as some unknown force gives the power to slip off my wedding ring. Through my tears, I hold my ring up to the light, and watch it glimmer.

The flecks of gold bounce off the walls, and make a shadow on the rug. Then the flecks disappear and illumination of the ring fades, and darkness overtakes the room.

Through the darkness, my eyes follow a small fleck of gold on the wall, and watch as it slips into the black of the night.

It's gone.

There is no light anymore.

Just darkness.

A cold and threatening darkness.