Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are
technologically challenged, you "ain't seen
nuthin' yet. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street
Journal article:
1. Compaq is
considering changing the command "Press Any
Key" to Press Return Key" because of the
flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2.AST technical
support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover
turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged
in.
3.Another Dell
customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the
technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece
of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen
and hitting the "Send" key.
4.Yet another, Dell
customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with
soap and water!and soaking the keyboard for a day, then
removing all the keys and washing them individually.
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5.A Dell technician
received a call from a customer who was enraged because
his computer had told him he was "Bad and an
invalid." The tech explained that the computer's
"bad command" and "invalid"
responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6.A confused caller
to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told
the technician that the computer had said it couldn't
find the printer. The user had also tried turning the
computer screen to face the printer, but that his
computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7.An exasperated
caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the
computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what
happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal
and nothing happens." The "foot pedal"
turned out to be the computer's mouse.
8.Another customer
called Compaq tech support to say her brand new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit,
plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for
something to happen. When asked what happened when she
pressed the power button, she asked, "What power
button?"
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9.Another IBM
customer had trouble installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was
OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some
problems with the disk. When it said to put in the
third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user
hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied
to remove Disk 1 first.
10. A story from
a Novel NetWire SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I
am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting
that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup
holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my
computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me.If I seem a bit stumped,
it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a
promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup
holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know
anything about a promotional. It just has 4X on
it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller
because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.
The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
11.A woman called
the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The
tech asked her if she was "running it under
windows."
The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the
door. But that is a good point. The girl sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window and her printer is
working fine."
12.And last but not
least:
TECH SUPPORT: "Okay Bob, let's press the control
and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task
list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter
"P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a P."
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: "P, on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
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