Chapter
1
Tears
flowed effortlessly down her pale, worn face as she sat awake in bed, alone. It
was just another night for Lucy since Billy left her. Just the thought of it all
made an almost unbearable amount of pain enter her stomach.
She
placed a shaking hand over the final photographs of her and Billy as a couple.
She
managed to smile to herself as old memories came alive within her mind.
“They
were happy times,” she thought as she buried herself under her bed sheets. She
buried her face into her damp pillow and took in some deep breaths.
She
could still smell Billy in them. In fact, she could smell Billy all over the
house, and everything she saw reminded her of him.
She’d
lock herself in her house most days for this reason. In the comfort of her bed
she could re-call happy times and even convince herself that Billy still loved
her and that they were together.
Rarely,
when she ventured outside, these ideals came crashing around her and the pain
felt worse than ever.
She
sobbed to herself and questioned whether all of this would ever end. She was
brought suddenly out of this existence when the doorbell rang sharply. She shook
herself out of bed and climbed slowly down the creaking stairs as a desperate
voice called out her name in the night….
Chapter
2
Her
heart was bursting out of her chest as she nervously opened the heavy wooden
door. She imagined Billy standing in the rain, crying out for her and begging
for forgiveness. She looked slowly up and out to the driveway, the rain hitting
hard off the ground.
Lucy
stared intently as the figure stepped into the porch light, shivering as he did
so.
It
was Joel.
“Where
have you been, Luce? We’ve been worried about ya!”
Lucy
stepped back, confused.
“What?”
she blurted out, her head fuzzy from the lack of sleep.
“The
album launch, tonight. You were supposed to be there. You can’t do this Luce,
you have to move on” Joel spoke softly, unsure how to approach the subject.
The
pain in Lucy’s chest grew worse as Joel spoke. She knew he was right, but she
just didn’t want to hear it.
She
felt her eyes filling with tears, and fought them back vainly. She stood,
motionless, Joel’s voice ringing around her ears.
She
suddenly gave way, and fell towards the floor, breaking down into sobs. Joel
rushed towards her, picking her up and leading her into the dark house.
Chapter
3: Right in the face….
She
stared intently in the mirror as she dried her hair with a soft, fresh towel.
She
sighed to herself as she replayed Joel’s words in her mind;
“You
have to move on”
She
suddenly marched downstairs, grabbing a startled Joel’s hand.
“We
can still make the launch, can’t we?” she demanded.
Joel
smiled. “Sure, if you’re up to it, that’s all”
Lucy
hugged Joel.
“Thanks
for everything Joel, Its nice to know that someone cares”
Joel
blushed, but before he could mumble a reply, he was rushed out of the house and
onto the cold, deserted street.
*******************************************
Lucy
was confronted by heavy smoke, hundreds of voices and the unmistakable sound of
GC as she entered Paul’s crowed house.
She
pushed her way uncomfortably past the many “heys!” and “what’s ups”
that greeted her. She was only looking for one person.
It
was then in the corner of her eye that she saw him. Past the beer kegs and tacky
disco lights she saw the familiar features, the smile and the stance that
she’d missed for so long.
Her
heart ached as she closed her eyes briefly to imagine them as one again. “Just
to be near him,” she thought as she opened her tired and unwilling eyes.
She
took in a sharp breath as she realised that he was not alone. Beside him stood a
leggy, big busted, bottle blonde. She was wearing little and tossing her hair
from her heavily made up eyes down past her shoulders.
The
girl let out a high-pitched giggle and fluttered her eyelashes like there was no
tomorrow.
“Surely
he wouldn’t go for that?” Luce thought as she sipped her warm drink, feeling
a pair of arms catch her waist as she did so.
She
turned around and smiled.
“Hey
gorgeous” Benji smirked, kissing her cheek.
“Hey”
Luce replied softly, pulling in for a hug.
She
stepped back and admired Benji from head-to-toe.
“Do
I have your approval?” Benji laughed, noticing her stare.
Luce
blushed.
“Its
just, its been so long, you look great!” she exclaimed, ruffling Benji’s
newly-dyed hair.
“Thanks
Hun, but look, are you ok? Joel said you were upset. And I know Billy’s still
bugging you.” Benji spoke, concerned.
Luce
saddened and gazed to the floor, finding herself contemplating Billy once again.
She
looked over her shoulder and froze.
“You
deserve better Luce, and I…” Benji was still talking when he noticed
Lucy’s lack of attention. He looked over at her focus.
“Oh
no…” he muttered.
It
was Billy and that girl again. But this time they were kissing, but with such
passion that it broke Lucy’s heart.
Her
eyes penetrated tears as she witnessed the affection. Billy’s hands exploring
the girl’s body, kisses planted on her volumised lips.
Her
eyes penetrated tears as she found herself unable to look away.
This
was the kind of passion that had made her and Billy so special.
Now
she stared at him, expressionless, feeling as if she’d never known him at all.
Tears
streamed down her reddened cheeks as she fought off Benji’s comfort and made
her way through the seemingly endless crowd. She allowed the cries to overtake
as she climbed the stairs heavily, voices muffled, but calling out for her.
She
didn’t care who it was, she just knew she had to get out of there, and fast.
Chapter
4
Lucy
burst into the nearest room, her surroundings a blur from the tears.
She looked over to the bed to see Joel occupying it.
“Luce,
what’s up?” he cried, grabbing her into a hug.
“I
just…. I saw….” She trembled, sitting herself on the bed.
Joel
put an arm around her, attempting to comfort her.
“You
saw what, Hun…”
Lucy
took in a deep breath.
“I
saw Billy and that girl.”
“Oh….Linzi….
I told him not to bring her” Joel saddened.
The
mentioning of her name made Lucy’s blood boil in anger. She immediately took
in a slow, deep breath.
“Its
ok, anyways, don’t have that all to yourself!” she sniffed, grabbing the
wine bottle out of Joel’s hand.
The
both lay back on the bed and talked, drinking until the early hours. At about
3am, Lucy decided that she should go home.
She
got up, but was held back by the soft touch of a hand.
“Please
don’t go” Joel whined, pulling a pout, desperate face.
Luce
giggled. “You always do that!” she cried, sending a playful punch into
Joel’s arm.
She
sat back into Joel’s arms where they discussed their many disastrous
relationships.
“I
can’t believe I was so stupid, Luce. Michelle was cheating on me the whole
time!” Joel spoke quietly.
“I
know, when Billy left me I was lost, and I can’t believe he chose her over
me!”
Lucy
cried, wiping away the tears that were slowly drowning her cheeks.
“I
don’t understand it either, Luce. I mean, look at you! You’re the most
amazing and beautiful person I’ve ever met!” Joel exclaimed, grabbing hold
of Lucy’s waist in the moment.
Lucy
blushed. He was sweet, but was she ready for this?
Before
she even had time to think, she felt a pair of lips brush softly against hers.
Instead
if resisting, she found herself running her hands through Joel’s soft black
hair allowing the passion to take over….
Chapter
5
Luce
woke hazily the next morning to find herself wrapped in Joel’s arms. She
panicked, and moved quickly out of the bed, stumbling over the empty wine
bottles that adorned the floor.
She
fumbily got dressed, wincing from the pain in her head.
She
looked over at Joel sleeping peacefully, but she knew she had to go. It was a
mistake, and she knew it!
She
ran downstairs, colliding with a sleepy Billy in the process.
“Hey!
What’s the rush!” he exclaimed, steadying Luce with a weak arm.
Luce
looked up at Billy and realised that she’s forgotten just how handsome he was.
His
eyes were still a soft, deep brown, and he never broke his intense stare when
talking. His striking jaw line still hid secretly behind a mass of jet-black
hair, which lay scruffily on his pale face.
It
was then that she contemplated screaming out to him,
“Two
years, Billy! We had two years! I love you!”
Instead,
she spoke bitterly, struggling to keep her composure;
“I
hope you and linzi are very happy together.”
Before
Billy could stammer a response, Lucy stalked out of the house onto the misty and
grey street.
She
walked her way home slowly, contemplating the last 24 hours. As she cried, she
felt numb, programmed and worthless.
The
only guy she’s ever loved had left her and didn’t care anymore.
She’d
let a bottle of wine decide that sleeping with Joel was a good idea; despite the
pain and anger she’d felt hours earlier.
She
wasn’t sure how she felt about Joel, only that she felt terrible for leaving
things the way she did with him.
The
pain returned to her head as she searched for answers to all this, and she knew
she had to find them, before it was too late…
Chapter
6
It
had been two days since the party and it was all Luce could think of. Tired of
imaginary conversations and confusing scenarios running through her mind, she
decided that it was time to set the record straight.
An
hour later she found herself at Joel’s doorstep, her cold hands stuffed
nervously in her deep pockets, her body trembling with fear.
She’d
practised this meeting in her mind so many times that she feared her head might
explode.
She
took in a slow, deep breath as the dark wooden door opened almost cautiously.
She
braced herself for it to be slammed back in her face, but was instead greeted by
the soft features of Billy.
“Oh,
hey!” he spoke, enthusiastically.
“Ummm…
is Joel there?” Luce mumbled quietly, her eyes darting around her surroundings
to avoid Billy’s stare.
“No,
he’ll be back in a couple of hours, though. He’s doing some “MADE”(note:
his clothing label J)
stuff I think. Wanna come in for a coffee?” he smiled.
Lucy
nodded, “He’s so sweet” immediately dismissing the angry and negative
thoughts that had plagued her mind.
“But
what about…” Lucy questioned, as she entered the ever-immaculate lounge.
“Don’t
worry Linzi’s not here, she’s gone on a modelling thing for a couple of
days. Anyways, I wanna know how you’re doing”
Luce
couldn’t help smiling as he said this. But she knew she had to tell him the
truth.
******************************************
It
was 2 hours later and Joel had still not returned home.
Instead,
Luce and Billy sat; laughing and chatting like the old times.
Lucy
was busy laughing at an old childhood story when she felt Billy’s hand brush
lightly against her reddening cheek.
Billy
leaned in and whispered softly in her ear,
“Lets
get back together, Luce. We’re so great together.”
Luce
froze; she tried to digest the words just spoken. She thought about the
relationship. The pain. The heartbreak. The tears. But also the love. The
affection. The happy times. The she thought about Joel.
Soon
she found herself being led upstairs by Billy and her heart dealing with matters
instead of her head.
Chapter
7
Joel
pushed open the door weakly and stepped inside the cold house. He sighed in
frustration. It had been a hard few days, but a night in front of the television
was on schedule for today.
He
entered the kitchen to hear movement from Billy’s room. He remembered then
that he had some questions to ask him about designs for “MADE” clothing.
He
climbed the stairs slowly, smiling to himself.
He
pushed open Billy’s door quickly.
“Hey
dude, I was just wondering if you could help…”
His
voice trailed off and he froze.
He
looked in horror at what lay before him.
One
of his best friends and the only girl he’d ever loved. Together.
“So
this is what you’re up to, eh Luce?” he snorted angrily.
“Its
not what it looks like, Joel, please.” Lucy cried.
“Hmph,
looks pretty cosy to me!” Joel replied, bitterly.
“What??”
Billy managed to blurt out, confused. “Dude, what’s up??”
“I’ll
tell you what’s up!” Joel retorted sarcastically, “ at that party two
nights ago Luce and I slept together and I really thought it meant something.
She ignored me and said she was busy getting over you. More like under you!”
Joel cried, slamming an angry fist into the wall.
“So
that’s why you were in such a rush to leave! I can’t believe you! I never
want to see you again!” Billy snarled, glaring at Lucy, disgusted.
“Billy!
That’s not fair!” she cried, “it takes two you know!” she screamed in
reply.
“Just
get out!” Billy yelled, throwing her things to the floor.
She
fumbled out of bed, desperately trying to hold back the tears. She collected her
things and walked over to Joel, who was red with anger.
“Joel,”
she soothed, touching his arm lightly. He grabbed it away fiercely.
“Don’t
touch me,” he mumbled, unable to look at her in the face.
She
sighed and speeded down the stairs, and ran out onto the open street.
It
was then she cried. She was a mess. Her life was a mess.
She’d
lost the only two guys she’s ever loved….
Chapter
8
Lucy
sat at her small kitchen table; clutching the sole birthday card she’d
received from her best friend, and Paul’s girlfriend, Susie.
She
placed her head on the table and sighed.
It
had been 5 months since she’d last seen or heard from any of the GC guys.
She
placed a soft hand on her expanding stomach.
She
was pregnant and unsure of the Father.
Her
hands were trembling as she picked up her ringing telephone.
“Ummm…Hello?”
she mumbled sleepily.
“Hey
Luce, its Paul. Look we haven’t caught up in ages, I really miss you. Wanna
come over tonight? Susie and I are having some people over..”
“Aww,
sweetie, I dunno. I’m not feeling too good, I’ve been sick all morning.”
Luce replied weakly.
“Oh,
honey, what’s up? You sick?” Paul spoke, concerned.
“No,
morning sickness, Paul” she replied informatively.
“You…mean…you’re….”
He exclaimed.
“Yes,
but only Susie knows so please don’t tell anyone. I’ll come clean
tonight.” She panicked.
“Ok,
hun. I’ll see ya later, take care!” Paul rung off.
Luce
replaced the receiver and took in some deep breaths. She climbed the stairs
slowly, staring expressionless at her wardrobe. Tonight she would have to look
great.
********************************************
She
stood nervously ringing Paul’s doorbell.
She
shivered as she thought back to the last party here.
She’d
chosen her “little black dress” that clung in all the right places. She had
made some effort with her hair and make-up and as a result felt great.
She
smiled as Paul’s warm features greeted her. He pulled her into a tight hug.
“Hun,
you look amazing. I’ve really missed you, we all have.” He soothed.
“Me
too” she mumbled in reply.
Paul
placed a tender hand on her bump.
“I’m
sure everything will get sorted out” he enthused.
Luce
giggled. Paul always tried to make light of every situation. It was sweet.
“I
hope so,” she affirmed.
Paul
led her into he loud lounge, to be greeted by the guys;
“
Happy Birthday!” they all cried in unison, their voices trailing off as they
looked from Luce’s surprised expression to her expanding stomach.
Chapter
9
“I
still can’t believe you’re pregnant!” Benji cried, handing Lucy a soft
drink as he sat himself next to her.
“So….umm,
its definitely Joel or Billy Whose the Father, then?” he spoke quietly.
“Benji!”
she cried, taking offence.
“Sorry,
hun. I had to ask. So what are you gonna do? Get a DNA test or something?” he
questioned.
“Oh,
I never thought of that. At least it would set things straight” Lucy pondered.
“I don’t think they would wanna know though” she saddened, motioning
towards Billy and Joel, who had been hiding in the corner of the crowd all
night.
“Well,
you know I’m here for you” Benji soothed, hugging her.
“Thanks,
Benj. I’m gonna go upstairs for a bit, I feel kinda queasy.” She weakened.
*******************************************
“Ergh!”
she groaned to herself as she wiped her mouth and leaned back against the
toilet. The bathroom door opened abruptly, to reveal Joel.
“Oh,
hey, are you ok?” he questioned, kneeling beside her, and pulling her hair
back sweetly from her face.
“Umm…yeah…it
looks like my morning sickness also comes at night!” she laughed.
“I’m
so sorry for all this Joel, I never mean for any of it to happen, you know.”
She saddened.
Joel
touched her face lightly.
“You
know I’ll be here for you, whatever the outcome is.” He placed a hand on her
bump.
“I
couldn’t possibly expect you to do that!” she cried.
“But
I want to, I still L-…. I… you know…” he mumbled.
“I
know, Joel.” She spoke, pulling him into a hug.
She’d
never been so unsure of her feelings until now, breathing in the comfort of
Joel’s aftershave as they sat comfortably in each other’s arms.
Chapter
10
Billy
paced the tiny but warm room endlessly, his soft, black hair disguising his
tense expression, his only sign of emotion through fiddling with his lip ring.
Joel
sat silently at the other end of the room, endarkened, his terrified expression
encased in his shaking hands, his newly inked arms displaying Goosebumps.
Benji
and Paul sat on the large, comfy sofa, bodies tense and gazes diverted from
one-another
Chris
sat boldly in the midst of these mixed emotions. He appeared almost buried
within the many folds of the black leather chair he was occupying.
Rather
bemused, he observed everyone, attempting jokes to lighten the mood, only to be
left scratching the beanie hat that adorned his shaven head, confused.
Susie
applied thick red gloss to her quivering lips for a third time, nervously fixing
her figure hugging dress in the process.
Lucy
sat awkwardly, with one hand gripping to the telephone and the other softly
placed on her bump.
She
was now 6 months pregnant and awaiting DNA test results.
She
could feel the sweat slowly collecting at her brow and her stomach turn multiple
knots.
Her
heart was pounding irrationally and her head buzzing from endless questions and
answers.
Her
feelings reached a maximum as the telephone rang abruptly.
The
room glared frantically at one-another as she slowly picked up the receiver and
mumbled inaudible information.
A
lifetime of five minutes had passed when she cautiously replaced the receiver.
She
turned to face the others and scanned their expressions, feeling the tension
grow higher.
After
a pause she lifted her head slowly, and spoke clearly,
“Billy’s
the Father.”
The
room gasped, unsure how to react.
Billy
immediately jumped up and grabbed Lucy into a hug, although she stood cold and
motionless in return.
She
glanced at Joel over Billy’s shoulder and saw his face, crushed, his body
decreased and his eyes wet.
She
took in some long, deep breaths as she saw Billy kneel down before her on the
floor.
“Now
Luce. I know we’ve not had the easiest time, but I think we should make a real
go out of it” he soothed, patting her bump with a light hand.
He
fumbly produced a diamond ring from his pocket.
“I’ve
come prepared” he smirked, looking up at a numb Lucy.
“Let’s
become a real family, Luce, I’ll finish it with Linzi.” He spoke, looking
desperately into her eyes.
Joel
saw the ring from the corner of his eye and sighed.
“That’s
it! I’ve lost her forever!” he thought to himself, tugging at his worn
clothes.
He
couldn’t bear to watch anymore and left, slamming the door behind him.
The
sound echoed around Lucy’s ears as she thought about her and Billy.
She’d
had some great times with him. She’d laughed a lot, felt constant affection
and yes, she had been in love with him.
But
as she got lost in the glimmer of diamonds, she thought back to recent times.
The
rejection, the self-loathing, the pain, blame and the breaking of her heart.
But
there had been a change within all that and she couldn’t help but smile to
herself as she thought of that change.
She
cleared her throat.
“Billy”
she spoke affirmatively.
He
looked hopefully into her eyes.
“This
is it!” he thought to himself, “Perfect!”
“This
is a kind gesture, but I can’t” Luce saddened.
Billy’s
face fell and confusion polluted his mind.
“What!”
he cried, “but…why, Luce?” he spoke painfully.
“Because,
I…. I….” she took in a strengthening breath.
“I
love Joel.” And with that she dropped her grasp from Billy’s hands and ran
out onto the noisy bustling street.
“Joel!
Joel!” she cried helplessly, rain running down her cheeks and drenching her
clothes as she ran frantically dodging beeping horns.
Joel
turned around in the distance, shocked.
Luce
caught up with him, exhausted, but running a cold wet hand down his tear stained
cheek.
“I’m
so sorry!” she cried, pulling him closer to her.
Joel
glanced silently down to her hand.
“Where’s
the ring then?” he questioned bitterly.
“There
isn’t one” Luce shivered.
”
But why, Luce?” he exclaimed.
“B…B.
Because I Love you, Joel, its you I want to be with.” She spoke passionately,
tears flowing down her cheeks.
Joel
ran a shaking hand through her drenched hair, and pulled her closer to him, so
that their noses touched.
He
looked desperately into her eyes.
“Really?”
he quivered his hands holding her body tightly.
Lucy
managed a weak nod before being pulled into a slow, passionate kiss.
Joel
sheltered her with his jacket as he led her through the night.
As
they walked the desolate streets of Waldorf, Luce had never felt so comfortable,
happy and secure.
She
knew right at that moment she’d made the right call….
