Interests

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Our email: eva_mila@yahoo.com

Dear Eva & Mila,

I am 17 years old. I've just recently realized that I'm a lesbian, after a year and a half or so of calling myself a bisexual. I've only been in three serious relationships, including the one I'm in now (one was a long-distance, online relationship; the other was with my now best friend, who is a guy) and I really think my partner, who is 18, is the one for me -- although I sometimes question whether or not it's going to last.

We've only been together for a little over four months, and have only known each other for five. I've never felt a connection to someone so strong, and I've never felt more comfortable around anyone than I do her. She's been living with my mother and me for about two months now, and I still haven't told my mother that I'm gay. I want to, but I just don't know how. I mean, I think she has some sort of idea; she's just never mentioned it to me. We've never really talked much at all about things that really matter.

Anyway, my partner proposed to me about a month after we started dating. I had never believed in marriage beforehand, but I said yes because I really, really think it could work out. No matter what we've argued or bickered about, no matter what kind of differences we've had, we've always been able to work through it.

Sometimes, though, I get the feeling that I want something new. See, my partner wasn't exactly what I was looking for. She wasn't my "dream girl," so to speak. I've heard people say, "Don't settle for anything less than your dream girl." That scares me. I can't imagine my life without her now; I don't know what I would do if she weren't around.

She's got plans to join the military within a few months, and I have plans to go to college. This is going to be very hard for the both of us because we live with each other. We've talked about taking a break or staying together, but I'm still not sure what to do. I love her so, so much -- but what if something happens between me and another person while I'm away at college? I mean you can't help falling in love with someone, right? I suggested that we break up when we're both away, so if anything does happen it won't be considered cheating. But if we do break up, I don't want it to ruin our relationship if nothing happens at all.

I guess we're moving too fast, and it would be better to take a break.

Sincerely,
your friend Lisa

Dear Eva and Mila,

I've been in a relationship for almost two years now. We met online and it turns out we were in the same school a couple years ago. We fell completely head over heels in love with each other. Everything was perfect, but then I got transferred across the country with my job. The long distance thing worked out for a while, until we "took a break." Two months later, I went back home to visit and we fell in love all over again. I made plans to move back home because of her, and things were fine.

About a week ago, I called her and she was talking pretty doubtfully about our future. I made the mistake of asking her if this is what she wants, and she said "No." I was crushed. I had never been more in love with her, and then it all fell apart.

But she keeps putting a glimmer of hope in my head. She says things like "I know I'm going to regret this," "I still have something for you in my heart," and "Who knows what will happen when I come to visit this January, let's just call it taking a break."

She is already in another relationship with a friend of hers. She swears up and down that she didn't break up with me because of her, but I don't know. Also, this new girl is moving 400 miles away in two days. Their new thing started two days ago. When I ask her what's going to happen then, she tells me "I'm not sure, we might try."

I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about her. I don't understand why this is happening. I don't know what to do.

Confused

A Dear Confused,

Sounds like it's time to call the question with your back-and-forth friend. You seem too willing to let him decide if the two of you are in a relationship or not?