-begin: page 5 abridged galateialanademeter story v1.1-
Subject: whoops, my mistake.
well, i guess the first thing that comes to mind to tell you is about my ex.
i call him my ex cuz he is the one that i dated for almost two years. he is christopher william montrie. chris was the one who fucked me over. he was the only one i have ever really loved besides dylan.
the story begins on a valentines day during my senior year of high school. the worst valentines days are the ones when you have just broken up with some one, but this was not too bad. i was numb by this point. i was standing outside with some people, this guy named mark. he had the prettiest eyes, and of course long hair and not an inch of fat on him. the guys i go for really. there was this guy with him, joe. joe was pretty, had that pantene hair thing going on. and there was also chris. chris was maybe not my first choice out of the three. actually he was third of the three. and we were hanging out. smoking and avoiding beaver. (the security guard) so we were there and there was snow on the ground, and we were standing near a bank. so the guys decided to practice their stage diving off of the bank and into the snowdrifts below. it was ridiculous and it was wonderful. i had to laugh because they were all soaked when we got inside. so i talked some more to chris. he was younger than me, and i wondered where he had come from, since i knew most of the cute guys in school and he was not new but i had not seen him before. and the things we talked about were usually mundane trivial highschool things, but there was an intelligence about him that you could not miss, as well as an energy. and so i found out that he had a girlfriend and her name was mindy. i hate that name. and not much later i found out that she liked to hurt him and burn him, even though he was not much turned on by this and she played with his head too. and so i told him he should break up with her and go out with me.
he did.
so our relationship started. and we spent as much time as possible together. and so maybe about two months later we slept together. it was horrible. the first time is always horrible unless there is some reason for it not to be, like the deepest forms of love. but it was awful. and there was not really much we could say about it at the time, but then it got better and we had an amazing relationship.
the only thing i can say is that we were in love. he went cross country, and then there was a time afterwards that we were truly in love. someone looked at me once, when we were at a friends house and they said that they could see the love shining in my eyes. there was a feeling of comfort and every thing i could ever need that i got just by looking at him and i remember exactly how it felt. i have probably not been that complete before or since. i dont expect that to ever come back. but that was short lived. we basically spent most of the time together, except when he was with his band or i was with elena. misha was one of our closest friends. the three of us hung out much. and there was lots of fun had by all. we spent much time at his house, since he had the car all the time. and there was lots to do there. there were two fishponds out back, and two tanks inside, so it was good environment. his mother is a singer, barbershop quartet. and shes good too. we got along until her dog bit me and she said i should not have been there when they were not home. (chris was there but no parents.) and his father liked me too for a while. he is on the national ski patrol. he is good, and chris, if he put an effort in would be better. they are a very active family. and then there is bert. robert is chris's brother, and i dubbed him bert. it stuck actually. i dont even know if he liked it. he was a video game junky. i spent so much time at their house that they were like a second family. they even took me skiing a couple of times. but after a while there came tension in our relationship. we stopped talking, and he closed up on me. i was always the one who could solve the problems in our relationship. i could always talk us through anything. but he stopped listening after a while.
then on halloween,(samhain) we stopped by lise's* house. she was new in school. at this point she really liked this guy named danny. but there was this girl named tanner** there. and chris had just met her. the thing that really pissed me off at this point is that he did not bother to make introductions but rather he kept talking to tanner until misha introduced us. there was tension all afternoon. then i realized that tanner was trying to get at chris in any way. after a while she was all over him. he simply allowed it. i think that i knew our relationship was ending right then and there. i saw tanner sticking her fingers in his mouth and the night was officially over. the night got worse from there. i wont even go into it its rather like a scab i dont want to break again. the whole thing got even more tense until chris said that he wanted to see other people. that would have been fine for the first year, but at this point we had been monogamous for almost two and believe me that was the only thing he could have said to truly break me. so i put it off for as long as i could. it was hard knowing that i was really losing him, so i went into some serious denial. it was four days before christmas, seven days before his birthday, and a week and a half before new years. and also our one year nine month anniversary. i went over to lise's house. danny and eric and sasha and i all chilled with her, and i had to talk to her. i told her that i could feel my life slipping through my fingertips. i was telling her this, and she and sasha were exchanging meaningful glances. they took me into the next room, and they told me that as i spoke, chris was busy cheating on me. they werent supposed to be telling me this. and then it was over. the aftermath of the relationship was probably the worst period i had had since dylan died. chris and i kept sleeping together, since i could not let go. i think he couldnt either. i tried to tell myself that i could live with a nonmonogimous thing too. didnt work. so after a while i realized this and after another two months i told chris that i did not want to see him again. this was for the best, since about mid summer of that year i met up with a girl named ellie. ellie was pretty much a bitch, but she had some interesting information for me. it seems that for the first few months of our relationship every thing was all lies. there was a time when we were dating that he had not actually dumped mindy. he said he had, but it was a lie. a five month lie. at least. i do not know if it extended for any longer than that, but i know it was at least that long and probably longer by a month or two. and chris did not ever tell me, even when he loved me.
*this one is now his girlfriend, Lise. she was my friend at one point too, but now i never see her. funny how she would go out with him even after what she knows he did to me, but life is funny that way.
**tanner walcott patterson, i could have a field day with her. she is the most pathetic creature that could ever have been. she basically is a twenty year old junior. in highschool. she is the most flaky thing to exist. we stole her mothers car last year with her permission and went to rehobeth beach and would have gotten away with it except that one of us got into an accident with the car. not me. and the worst part is that she let us do all of it. she even went with us. this was probably not smart, but it was an experience, and exhilarating.
so that is pretty much my story of chris. in very short version. i will probably add more to this before i send it. but it really sort of left me with so many questions that can never be answered. like if he could lie to me so long, was everything really a lie, or was there actually any truth to anything he ever said. i have learned not to completely believe anything anyone ever says. this is the curse that he has left me with, the fact that i rarely believe anything that anyone ever says. and there will be a long time before i can deal with the fact that maybe some people are telling the truth. by the way luke, do you tell the truth? i think you do, i want to think you do, so at this point i see no reason you should not, and besides, i dont think you have any reason for subterfuge. anyway, i think you have been truthful so far, even if you didnt want to, and i must say dear, i appreciate that.
-end: abridged galateialanademeter story v1.1-
