Top Ten Lists

My top ten page... comming soon... here's one to start you off

Top Ten Reasons That I Made a Top Ten Page

10. Boredom

9. I'm a sick sick man

8. It's a Friday night, what else am I supposed to do?

7. There's nothing on TV

8. Writing Top Ten lists is all a part of my world domination scheme.

6. I'm tired of spreading "holiday cheer," so I'm doing this instead

5. The government is making me do it

4. Cause I'm just cool like that

3. Because something somewhere here is bound to piss someone off, and I like to piss people off

2. Because I already organized my stamp collection... twice

1. I'm an opinionated bastard

Top Ten All Time Bands/Artists
These are my top ten all time bands. This might see some changing from time to time. These are arranged randomely.

10. Creedence Clearwater Revival
9. Cream
8. Led Zeppelin
7. Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble
6. The Jimi Hendrix Experience
5. Everclear
4. Nirvana
3. Sound Garden
2. The Rolling Stones
1. Chuck Berry

Top Ten Bands/Artists That Didn't Make My Top Ten Band/Artist list
I hope this is self explanatory.

10. U2
9. Sly And The Family Stone
8. Bob Dylan
7. The Beatles
6. Metallica
5. Lynyrd Skynyrd
4. Weezer
3. Queen
2. Rage Against The Machine
1. Pearl Jam

Top Ten Reasons I Will Never Get Laid

10. "Chicks" don't dig the Stoehr
9. I lack the balls... or ball as it is
8. I'm too broke to pay for it
7. I don't drink/get drunk
6. I don't like drunk people
5. Chicks Hate Me
4. I'm not a big enough asshole
3. I have standards... which are way above me
2. Because I'm just a "friend"
1. Cause I don't "get laid," I make love

Top Ten Reasons I Will not Finish this 10-15 Page Paper

10. I'm lazy
9. Because I prefer to spend my time writing stupid top ten lists
8. Spook is gay, that's why
7. I can't think of an interesting topic
6. Because the women in the wallpaper keep bothering me
5. It's cold down here
4. Yo Quiero Taco Bell
3. D.C. United lost last night and I'm pissed
2. Because I can't get laid
1. Because women's lit sucks!

Top Ten Things I'd Rather Be Doing Than This 10-15 Page Paper

10. Trying on "not socks"
9. Looking for "not pants"
8. Burning "not socks"
7. Trying to figure out what a "not sock" is, if it's not a sock, what is it?
6. Creating a "not top ten list"
5. Run through the mall with nothing on but "not socks"
4. Wondering if "not not socks" would be normal socks
3. Hunting down and killing the creator of "not socks"
2. Trying to determine if muliple "not socks" would create normal socks, or if it's just like zero, where if you try to multiply them, they're still not socks
1. Discuss "not socks" with a Gap employee. (but if we're not discussing socks, then what are we discussing?)

Top Ten Albums of the 90s

These are done under a few paramaters. First, no more than one album per band. The album chosen is the best the band did in my opinion. That prevents this from becoming silly. This is also done randomly.

10. Superunknown
9. Blood Sugar Sex Magic
8. Sparkle and Fade
7. Nevermind
6. Rage Against the Machine (self titled debut)
5. Weezer (The Blue Album)
4. Metallica (The Black Album)
3. Ten
2. Alice in Chains (The Legged Dog)
1. Clumsy

Top Ten Movies

There are a few parameters to this one. A series of movies is represented in just one of those movies, or the name of the series, otherwise there will be too many of the same movie here.

10. Indiana Jones
9. Monty Python Movies
8. Back to the Future
7. Star Wars
6. The Song Remains The Same
5. Beverly Hills Cop
4. Beavis and Butthead Do America
3. Star Trek
2. Wayne's World
1. The Evil Dead

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Email: stoehr@erols.com