All The White Circles (Part 8)
Jennifer
Part Eight: Riley
I stroke her hair until she's unloaded everything in her stomach into the toilet. I then move to my medicine chest and pull out a cup, which I fill with cold water. I hand it to her and she drinks it slowly. I watch as she trembles until finally she looks at me, a dread in her eyes that just rips into me.
"Buffy," I say softly. I want to take her in my arms. I want to hold her until it's gone but I don't think I can do that for her. "What is it?"
She stares at me for a moment. And then moves to put the cup down on the vanity. "My friend in LA. He's missing. From what I can see it's been at least ten days. He left here. He was going back but he hasn't checked in."
"Who... I mean..."
"I can't stay here right now... Riley... I have to go to Giles." She pushes past me, completely uncomposed.
I follow her out of the room and watch as she gathers her things to leave. "Buffy, let me help."
"You can't. I have to go."
Before I can respond to her, she's out the door. I watch her leave the house, sprinting down the stairs and heading to the people she believes can help her.
I go to the mirrored door and look into it. My retinal scan is accepted and I make my way into the elevator that will take me to the complex. I send in my vocal code and then step into the Initiative laboratories. I go to the file room and after getting clearance pick up the file called "Hostile 42". I then make my way towards the glass-encased room holding the man or vampire that I saw with Buffy.
I watch him for several minutes and he watches me. Somehow I feel we know one another and we're bonded by something neither of us can touch. I type in the code on the panel of the door and then step into the room. He says nothing so I decide to speak first.
"Are you him?" I ask him knowing he'll understand.
"What?"
"I said are you him?"
He shakes his head, "I don't know."
"With Buffy."
There mere mention of her name stops him and I know it's him. I start to pace. My body is filling with a ton of nervous energy and I don't know how to let it go. I look to him. "How is this possible?"
"These things are far too big for such small minds to comprehend."
I ball my fists together and then rush him. I push him up against the wall knowing full well that he can't fight back.
"You're a big man to fight what you've already rendered useless." He says grinning in my face as he shakes his head. "Do you think she'll forgive you for this? I'm not Spike. I'm something completely different for her."
Spike... that name again...
I let him go and walk away.
"If you keep me here, she'll come for me. She'll find you out and she'll do whatever she has to get me out of here."
"She won't find you here."
"You underestimate her."
"No, I don't. But there are things beyond your comprehension as well."
"She always wins... Riley..."
I look at him after hearing my name. "How did you know my name?"
"She told me."
I close my eyes and shake my head. My temples are pulsing and a severe pain is building behind my eyes. "Is she in love with you?"
He shakes his head. "She loves me. But it's not the same. Not anymore."
"You're a vampire."
"And you're a liar. What difference does it make?"
"You're not human."
"So. I was human once."
"But you lose that when you become a vampire."
"Popular misconception."
"How can she love what she's destined to kill?"
"So you know about her."
"Yes."
"Yet you didn't tell her about yourself."
"I can't. This is classified information."
"She won't accept that."
"She did accept it."
"That was before you captured me and turned me into one of your guinea pigs."
"I don't understand any of this."
"And you probably never will. It would be easy for you wouldn't it? To keep me here. To kill me even. I am the only thing holding her back after all."
I look at him swallowing back the bile that had worked its way into my throat. I then move toward the panel and code myself out of the room. I leave him, as fast as I possibly can. Because,
I know and God forgive me, that what he said certainly did cross my mind.
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