Howie picked Emilie up that night at 6pm sharp. They drove the fanciest restraunt in town. They sat down together at a corner table. “You look great tonight” Howie said as soon as they sat down. Emilie blushed.
“You look great too!” she said as she looked him up and down again. He was wearing a white turtleneck and black pants. He looked so wonderful.
“How was the rest of your day?” he asked with a smile.
“Well, I found out that Nick and Kayla are getting married.” Emilie said with a sigh. It seemed like everyone around her was in love except her.
“Oh wow! that is great. Have they set a date?”
“Yeah, November 10th” she looked down at the table cloth.
“That is so soon... is something wrong?” he asked concerned.
“No” her head shot up. Tears were shinning in her eyes.
“You are going to cry. Please tell me what is hurting you so much. Please” He reached out and took her hand in his.
“It is nothing” she said as she looked at her hand in his. No boy had ever held her hand like that before.
“It isn’t nothing. You always look like you are on the verge of tears all the time what is wrong?”
“It is just I am going home tomorrow.” She said trying to cover up the real reason of her pain.
“Oh... I didn’t know.” sadness was clear in his voice.
“Yeah,” She said.
They spent the rest of the meal in silence.
After dinner, they drove to the beach and sat in the car. “I know that isn’t all that is bugging you.” Howie said as he stared out the winshield.
“What?” “I know you leaving tomorrow isn’t all that is giving you so much pain. A week ago I saw you crying as well. You looked like something was really wrong.”
Tear sprung to her eyes, she frantically got out of the car and began to walk away. But her high heel broke and she was forced to sit on a bench. She began to sob. Howie sat down and put his arms around her. “I’m sorry. I just want to know why you are so unhappy”
“I can’t tell you” She sobbed. She was holding on to him so tightly. She wanted nothing more then to share with him everything she was feeling. She knew he would hold her and make her feel as if everything were ok. But she had learned long ago that she couldn’t tell anyone of how crazy she was. Crazy for feeling the way she felt.
He pulled back and looked at her for a second then he lightly kissed her on the lips. Her heart began to soar. “Please Emilie tell me. I want to know you.”
She looked up at him. She had never been kissed before. “That was my first kiss you know” she said quitely as she looked down at her hands.
“You’re kidding?!?” he asked shocked that a beautiful girl like her had never been kissed before.
“No, that is partly why I am so sad. I will tell you Howie, but first you must promise me not to laugh at me at all while I am telling you this!” she said her voice was very quiet.
“I won’t laugh at all Emilie”
“It all started when I was 12, my parents were alcholics. They were never home and never took notice of me. They died one night when they were coming home from a bar. I went to go and live with my grandmama. She took good care of me. But still I was lonely, and depressed. The kids at school teased me all the time because I was overweight. Their words hurt so much. I had no friends in middle school. That was the worset. No one would talk to me. No boy would look at me. I was ugly and still am. When I was 17 I couldn’t take it anymore. The names hurt so much. I took an overdose and tried to kill myself. My grandmama found me in the kitchen as I swallowed the last of the pills. She dragged me to the car and took me to the hospital where I had my stomach pumped. After that I switched schools. We moved to a new part of town and started over. I met Camille the first day I was there and we became friends instantly. She introduced me the Kayla and we all became very close. They still are my only friends. But after a while I got back into the same state of mind and tried to kill myself again. My grandmama found me again and took me to the hospital. When she did that I disowned her and moved out on my own. I quit school and began to work. I haven’t talked to her since. I still am lonely and depressed. That I don’t know how to deal with. I cry when I see people in love because that is all I want in the world. And like everything else in my life I am denied it. It just isn’t fair Howie.” She was crying so hard as she told him.
“Oh Emilie, Emilie” he had tears in his eyes knowing that she had been through all that. And had felt so horrible. He put his arms around her and hugged her tight. He held her there until she stopped crying.
“I don’t want to cry anymore” she said quietly.
