Decisions
By Pikajen
Note: Do not, I repeat, do not read the author’s note at the end of the story unless you want to spoil it. -Pikajen
If you’re wondering how I’m telling you this, or where I’m coming from, I cannot tell you for even I don’t know. When I’m finished, you can say it was a dream, or that I am an angel of some sorts, or whatever, as long as you remember the lesson learned from this story.
A short while ago, I made the stupidest decision of my life. Yes, I, Jessie, am admitting to doing something stupid. I know I never admit to anything being wrong with me and that I’m perfect, but I’m not. I guess you can say it all started about two months ago...
I was lying in my sleeping bag, somewhere in the middle of a forest, when I heard James roll over in his sleeping bag. He kept tossing and turning, until finally he climbed out. He walked silently to me and simply stood and stared. “James, What are you doing?” I asked. He jumped. He thought I had been asleep.
“Um... Jessie...I have something to tell you.”
I sat up. “What?”
“Well, ever since I met you in Pokémon tech, I kinda had a little crush on you and well, now that we’ve been together for so long...”
My heart skipped a beat. Here was James, standing beside me, expressing that he had the same feelings for me that I did for him. I couldn’t think of anything to say.
“I think...” he continued. “No. I’m sure... I’m in love with you.”
I froze. He loved me. This lovely, sweet man was in love with me. I finally got the courage to speak. “Oh, James. I love you too.”
.
Our relationship went from there. We started dating and were an “official couple.” I was blissful. Every day was another wonderful day to spend with James. But then out of nowhere, that awful day arrived.
.
I had been noticing James was acting weird. He wasn’t as affectionate as usual. Then, at one of the hidden Team Rocket bases, he came to me. “Jess, We need to talk.”
“Yeah?”
“Not here.” He led me to a small room. “Um... I don’t know how to say this... but I... don’t think we should be couple anymore.”
I was shocked. I thought we were going so well. I could only manage to choke out one word. “Why?”
“It’s not working out.”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want this to happen! We were going so well! I answered with a pathetic whispered, “Okay.” and he left. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. But, that wasn’t me. I ignored all my emotions and pretended to be happy as I walked out into the crowds of Team Rocket members.
.
The next couple of days were hell. While trying to hold back my emotions, I told my best friend and co-worker, Melanie, that James and I were “no longer a couple,” I was mobbed by people wondering why we weren’t together as much anymore (and of course, I had to lie. I couldn’t handle that much sympathy) and to make matters even worse, James’ stupid friend Dan was teasing me! Melanie helped out though, telling certain people to lay off and giving me advice.
.
James wasn’t helping either. He was being a real jerk. Like, once I was training Arbok, fighting against another team member when he and Dan came along.
“You think Jessie will win?” asked Dan.
“There’s no way Jessie will win with her so-called training skills.” James answered. They walked off laughing. He was basically acting like that the whole time.
.
“Hey Jessie! Are you going to the party tomorrow?” Melanie asked after an exceptionally hard day of teasing, questions and sympathy.
“What party?”
“Didn’t you hear? A bunch of people from the team are having a party to celebrate all the good work we’ve been doing.”
“Is Giovanni going to be there? I’m not going if he is. He always ruins them.”
“No. We made sure he didn’t hear about it. You coming or what?”
“I’ll be there.”
.
About 23 hours later...
.
I knocked at the door of Rachel’s house. Being one of the most successful team members, she was able to afford it. Melanie answered the door.
“Jessie! You’re late. Everyone’s here already!”
“I know, I know.” I walked in. There was loud dance music playing, a table laid out with junk food and alcohol and the house was already trashed.
“Alot of people showed up, huh?” I commented.
“Yeah. It’s great.” We quickly got into the party.
.
I had been enjoying myself for an hour. Dancing, drinking, talking. It was great.
Suddenly the music stopped. Everyone looked to the stereo. One of the guys was standing beside it. “Okay!” he yelled as he put in a new CD that began to play a slow song. “This one’s for the new couple: James and Sara!”
I was shocked. James and Sara? I prayed it was a mistake, or that he was kidding, but the crowd cleared and there they were, in each other’s arms, smiling. It was true. Only three days after we had broken up and he already had a new girlfriend! Sad and angry, I ran upstairs to the bathroom.
I heard a knock at the door. “Who is it?” I called, trying not to cry.
“Jess, It’s Melanie. Open the door.” I did as she told me and she came in. We talked for a little while and I didn’t find it helpful.
Unfortunately, we forgot to lock the door and accidentally let an idiot in. Dan came over to me, laughing.
“So!” he said in a mean, amused voice. “Looks like James has a girlfriend!”
“Shut up, Dan.” I said.
“Oh, I guess you’re angry. You know, he’s probably giving more love to that chick down there now than he ever gave you.”
That comment enraged me. I stood up and slapped him hard across the face, then kicked him in the stomach with the sharp tip of my boot. He fell to the floor. I ran out of the bathroom and ran downstairs. I saw James and Sara making out against a wall. I ran out of the house and didn’t stop until I reached the high bridge. It was there I let out all of my emotions and broke down crying.
.
I don’t know what stupid thought went through my mind at that second, but I climbed onto the railing. I looked down. Way below, I saw the concrete walkway.
.
I closed my eyes and jumped. As I was falling I suddenly changed my mind. 'What am I doing? I don’t want to die! Help!'
It was too late. I could feel the pain as I hit the ground and saw the blood around me, within seconds, the world faded before my eyes as I took my last breath.
.
I did a stupid thing. I didn’t want to die. I really didn’t. But I took the leap anyway. I had a temporary problem and used a permanent solution. I’m sorry I upset so many people. My friends in Team Rocket were deeply hurt and Dan was emotionally scarred for life, feeling that it was his fault. But I realize it was my fault and I can’t take back what I did. I learned the hard way. You have this. Listen now. Listen well.
Never commit suicide. If you have a problem, think it over, talk to people and for god’s sake, get counseling. Life is a wonderful thing. Don’t give it up because of a fixable problem.
/
Author’s Note: Okay, that was a little disturbing, but I wrote it to make a point. If you’re pissed off because I killed Jessie, that’s you’re problem, but I’d still like e-mail. jenmac@cgocable.net Thanks for listening -Pikajen
P.S. Jessie is spelled J-E-S-S-I-E. I turned on the caption on the TV and it spelled it that way. Plus J-E-S-S-E is the male spelling.
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