Degeneration Quest News

11/22/00

Degeneration Quest is still going strong after over two years of existence, and new members were added to DQ this year. Nova, The Brain, and Shadowhawk were added to the list of DQ ranks, and they have definitely proven themselves worthy of the title....Shadowhawk managed to gain a first place ranking at the 2000 Eastern Regional tournament, while Nova and The Brain managed to assist in the destruction of LQ's most pristigious sportsmanship award, The Zapp Award!

DQ has also developed a sort of "sub-committee" known as Jackass, Inc. This will be the team that represents Clinton Township at the 2001 Valentine's Day Massacre tournament in Charlotte, North Carolina. As of this article, the team will consist of RaVyN, Heckler, Nova, Shadowhawk, The Brain, Eulogy and Crazy. As most people know, VDM is one of the most entertaining tournaments of the year, so what the hell could Jackass, Inc. possibly do at THIS event to top past degenerate acts? Only your undertaker knows for sure...

And more recently, RaVyn and Heckler represented Degeneration Quest (and Jackass, Inc.) at the Westland 2-Man tournament on November 18th. The story behind their entry in this tournament is as interesting as the events that transpired at the tournament itself. For some odd reason, the person running this tournament did not want Heckler to attend the tournament (some odd personal reasons were cited as the cause of this decision). So even though Heckler had called in a deposit for the tournament, and was guaranteed a spot by Westland's assistant manager, he was told by the tournament organizer that if he showed up, he would receive a refund and would be asked to leave by the general manager of LQ Westland. "Save yourself some conflict....stay home" were the exact words, actually.

Well everyone knows that Heckler is not the type of person to back down without a fight. So he had some words with said tournament organizer, but to no avail. So what does a man do when he is havin problems taking care of business himself? He turns to his friends, of course. First the staff of LQ Clinton were contacted to attempt to talk with the GM of Westland to fix the situation. But the staff members that were needed to fix this problem were unavailable at the time. So the call was made to the membership of Laser Quest. And after a LOT of bitching and a few pulled strings, the tournament organizer finally agreed to let Heckler play in the tournament. Special thanks goes out to Aunt Lou (from Appleton), Sniper, Monoxide, Dilu'vian and Predator (all from Westland) for being so vocal in their assistance. MAJOR thanks go to Raider for sitting down and discussing the matter with the tournament organizer and getting the final call made. And to Virus from Westland for actually backing OUT of the tournament so that they would be a team short and come to us to ask us to play. There will be free beer in all of your futures.

So now Heckler and RaVyN were allowed to attend the tournament. Things were going excellent until about 6:00am, when RaVyN managed to get himself ejected from the tournament and banned from LQ Westland for an undisclosed amount of time. The details of the reasoning behind this banning are unclear, but apparently it had something to do with a couple of broken packs and another player suffering a sprained wrist. Oops.

So after the tournament organizer tried so hard to prevent Heckler from entering the tournament, it ended up being RaVyN that got banned and booted from said event. Now how is THAT for irony? Heckler was told he could continue the tournament with another partner, but somehow the idea of playing a tournament with Pleasure Kitten as a partner just isn't very appealing. And besides that, RaVyN had no jacket and was not allowed in the center from that point forward, so Heckler chose to drive RaVyN home instead.

The moral of this story, of course, is that NOBODY is more bootleg than Degeneration Quest! What team has had more controversy surrounding it and its members? Not even OSHAWA has had this kind of infamy! So yes, Degeneration Quest is still going strong, and coming soon to a center near YOU. That's all the news that's fit to tell now, but look for more DQ News as it happens.....



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