You Know You Love Cats Far Too Much When...
Don't Hesitate to send me your own!
Some of them were made by my friend Shen-Shen others were made by other friends from Vlado's page! I came up with 111 through 114...Don't ask...Andrea came up with 115 through 116! 117 through 120 by Jemima. 120 through 126 by Patchabie. 127 throgh 145 are from Demeter! 146 throught 148 Submitted by I believe Jelicat? 149 throught 151 from Skittamat! 152 submitted by Viccy Timberlake. 153 to 159 by Jennyanydotsas well as 166 through 173. 160 through 164 was by Birana! 165 added by Etc. #55 through 81 was written by Muncaster! 174-191 was submitted by Terpsichore. Number 192-197 submitted by Terpsichary. #198 goes to Skitty and Mina. #199-201 was written by Audrea Rush. #202 goes to Naandy(I think!). #203-206 by AmazonCatz. #207-216 is Bombalurina/Cheryl's contribution. #217-237 belong to Finfriel! #238-266 sent in by Felinity.#267-277 by Shelley.#278-315 by Sugarblitz and Jennalilly.#316-325 presented by Valerei. #326-344 from Streakcat.
PLEASE people! Send them to me with your names or I can't give you credit!
Current count:344
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1-You insist on wearing a unitard all the time
2-Whenever you hear glass break your head jerks up and you yell, 'Macavity!'
3-You'll pay 38$ for a unitard, 30$ for a wig and 40$ for a tail... but a 2$ bottle of water is highway robbery
4-It confuses you why your friends don't have 'dancing cat' pupils
5-Whenever something is stolen, you blame Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
6-If you can't find a knife or a fork, you KNOW it's not merely misplaced
7-You hold 'Jellicle Balls' for your cats
8-A Trekkie calls YOU obsessive
9-You break your leg trying to jump off a tire
10-After you get out of your cast, you try it again!
11-You try to play golf with a giant spoon
12-While other girls are swooning over Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, you're looking longingly at
pictures of Michael Gruebar and Jacob Brent
13-you call up radio stations and request songs from Cats
14-Your day is not complete until you listen to your CD, watch your video and go on all five Cats
boards twice
15-Betty Buckley has a restraining order against you, saying you are 'sociably upsetting'
16-you call any man in tails 'Bustopher Jones', despite all the weird looks
17-You wait around the back of Pubs looking for Gus
18-You're pregnant and beg and plead your spouse to name your child a name form Cats
19-When they refuse, you play 'the Naming of Cats' in their sleep, until oneday they suggest you name your child three names
20-Everytime you go on a train, you tell the waiter you won't be needing his services, Skimbleshanks will take care of it all
21-For your brothers birthday you call up Magician Agency's and ask for Mr. Mistoffolees
22-you get fired because your boss sees you printing out all the messages you haven't read from a CatsBoard, wasting hundreds of sheets of paper
23-Your mom asks you to pick up your room. You shake your head, pick up your spotted and stripped tabby cat and claim that's her job
24-After four weeks, you come home and find your room clean. Your mother cleans her throat and says you have someone to thank. You are later grounded for thanking your cat
25-Your house is on fire and you can either save your CATs merchandise or brother... you'll miss your brother :)
26-Your friend sets you up with the most popular guy in school. When you meet, you push him awayand cry, "No! No! My heart belongs with Munkustrap!"
27-After weeks of therepy from your crush on Bombalurina you come out with your crush gone! But now you have a crush on Marlene Danielle.
28-You legally change your name to Jellylorum and 'Adopt a Grandpa' named Gus
29-You spend hours wondering what Mr. Mistoffolees first name is
30-You hum "Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats' in crowded areas to find other fans
31-The only reason you watch 'Caroline In The City' is because the character Annie is in CATS... or WAS Your dad has to change his name to Old Deuteronomy to get your attention.
32-You call up NASA to see if there really is a Jellicle Moon.
33-You spend your weekends in a junkyard, looking for a huge tire that flies.
34-You can't remember you're little brother's name but you're sure it was something like Skimbles or Munku. . .
35-On the name spot for your assignments you write, the cat himself knows and will never confess.
36-You get mad when someone asks "whats a Jellicle cat?"
37-You always carry around a can of fish paste, just in case a black cat wants to use some.
38-You really do address a cat by taking off your hat, bowing and saying, "Oh cat!"
39-You try to train you own cat to jump through a hoop, just so you can say Gus is singing about your kitty.
40-You want to be in Cats on Ice (if it ever happens) and you can't ice skate.
41-When watching a tv show and they ask where someone is, you shout "You ought to ask the
Magical Mister Mistoffelees!"
42-You believe Cats would make a good soap opera.
43-When going to see Cats live, you sing along shamelessly.
44-You could actually tell that Cassandra was a Siamese.
45-You were there when the pharaohs commissioned the sphinx
46-You buy a cat and name it Victoria since it is white.
47-You find out it is a boy cat, so draw spots on it and name it Alonzo.
48-You have a cat named Grizabella.
49-After being subjected to all kinds of torture; being forced to dance, sing and painted then named wierd, your cat runs away.
50-You claim that Macavity stole your cat instead.
51-But you aren't worried because you know Misto will bring it back.
52-You can play "Memory" using the buttons on your touch tone telephone.
53-You can turn everyone around you into a Cats fan.
54-When you notice your kitten staring out a window you start calling out names.
55-You can name every cat in every production, any parts they have and their coloration/breed off the top of your head.
56-you've memorized every verse to every song, even from langueges you don't speak.
57-your boyfriend leaves you because he's jeliose of a cat.
58-you go climb on bigwheel tires at 6:00am, in hopes you can get to the heavyside layer.
59-you watch the CATS the video every day, and havn't missed a beat since it came out.
60-you can dance Jennyanydots tap dance, Victoria's solo dance, and Mistoffolees thingamajig,
PERFECTLY, without mistakes.
61-you buy people cat-nip for preasents.
62-for a costume you dress up as one of Growltiger's crew.
63-you wonder where your tail is.
64-you have three names.
65-one of which only you know.
66-you check all four cat forums 3-6 times a day.
67-whenever you're sad or angry or bored or glum, you watch the cats video and feel better.
68-you are reading this.
69-you actualy do, or have done some things in this list.
70-you know every diffriences in every version of cats.
71-you go on a trip to another countery just to see that version of cats.
72-you plan on who you'll be in cats, even though you can't sing or dance.
72-when harsh reality rears it's ugly face, you plan on taking you little brother/sister to singing anddanicng and gymnastics just so he/she can be in cats.
73-when Gus sings about how kittens aren't as great as they where in his days, you feel offended.
74-seriosly.
75-when you here a loud noise, you freaze up, shreak "Macavity!" then race off.
76-you refer to all dogs as "Pekes" or "pollicles"
77-you have planed two names for each of your children, and they're names like "Muncaster" and "Mistoffolees".
78-you can't remember names like "Mary" or "John". You only remember names like "Bombalurina".
79-you shamlesly sing and hum cats songs in public.
80-your cats CD is always on-- unless the video is.
81-you throw a fit when your parents tell you it's not healthy to sit and watch cats over and over again.
82-you refer to the bathroom as the litter box.
83-you call your bed a basket.
84-you pounce on an open can of sardines.
85-you refer to your bedroom as the Jellicle junkyard.
86-you tell your friends to wait for you, you'll get there when you are done grooming your mane.
87-you have two back up copies of the video, one CD of the Original London cast, one CD of the
Original Broadway cast, AND the collection of selected songs from the musical.
88-you remember the line "Jellicles dry between their toes" after a shower.
89-you claim your pet feline is Macavity in disguise whenever things come up lost.
90-you ask people in a bad mood if they have had their distemper shots.
91-you ask a depressed friend if catnip would help them.
92-you purr when a meal is especially good.
93-you call your child your Kitten.
94-you actually wonder if the Great Rumpus Cat is the feline version of Superman.
95-you find something that looks alot like a tail at target and buy it to make a tail out of.
96-you can feel a phantom tail twitching when you are upset or thinking.
97-you feel the need for a scratching post.
98-you can growl realistically and sound so much like a cat that you fool your pet felines.
99-your ears actually twitch when you hear odd sounds at night.
100-your daughter calls her grandpa Old Deuteronomy.. and he responds.
101-you find yourself watching lint float in the air.
102-you hiss when someone cuts you off in traffic.
103-you actually let your mind come up with these things!!!
104-you plan to come up with more later.
105-you don't care if people agree with you or not, you are a cat and the opinions of others don't
matter.
106-you practice stalking.
107-you grow claws.
108-you want to dye your mane in tiger stripes and leopard spots.
109-you call men tomcats.
110-you have more of these but you save them for another, later posting.
111-Whenever someone asks you what you thought about somthing you immidiatly reply "Needed more Catnip"
112-You take amusment in attempting to grab a string out of peoples hands if they happen to be dangling.
113-You annoy and frighten friends and relations by hissing at anything that displeases you.
114-You attempt to comfort a friend by rubbing your head against your shoulder
115-While watching the movie you remark the dancer's are hotter as Cats then in real life
116-While out on a date with a new guy you expect him to lift you over your head like Plato does to Victoria
117-you start looking for missing knives and forks out on the lawn.
118-you're at a dinner, you refuse to let the hostess call you by firstname,
unless she offers you caviar or Straussburg pie.
119-you won't let the train go until you made sure that Skimbleshanks is
aboard.
120-you every day before dawn go out in the garden, sits down by the
sunflowers and wait for the day.
121-In church instead of singing hymns, your singing 'Old Deuteronomy'
122-You want to break your radio when you hear someone other than Elaine
Paige singing 'Memory'
123-After you've seen the Cats Video, you enroll in a dance class at your
school to become just like them--
124---Although after a week, you're all sore, and drop the class and join
choir to become a chorus cat.
125-Your face is all scraped up, after you tried to 'run' up a wall.
126-You actually start to caterwaul when you see a cute guy(Or girl).
127-You need a new closet because you made it into a small CATS Shrine
128-You need ANOTHER closet because all of your CATS Clothing wouldn't fit!
129-You refer to any dog you see a Pollicle...
130-You have to get your family a 'CATS Dictionary' so they'll understand 1/2 of what you say...
131-The word Terpsichorean is in your day-by-day lingo
132-You freak your siblings out by running around the house singing songs from CATS
133-Everyone you know knows something about CATS because of you (mwahahaa!)
134-You've painted your room blue, strung lights around it, and painted the 'Jellicle Moon' near your
window...
135-You argue with friends that Heaven is the worst place to go, and the Heavyside Layer Rules...
136-You have PF Magic's 'Catz' programs and adopt every cat, and paint them to look like Cats of
CATS.
137-You call your friends Jellicles
138-You post to more than one CATS Message board in a way...
139-One half of your hard drive has been taken over by CATS items
140-You have 14 CATS costumes in your daily wardrobe
141-You keep yelling at your friends to stop calling you by your 3rd name, because no one is supposed
to know it ;)
142-Your Reading this list as a 'Things to do' list
143-You own more than 14 stuffed Cats that look like each cat from CATS (Anyone who is a regular
in Vlado's Chat Room, I don't want you to comment on my Munkustrap Collection ;)
144-You actually have '3' differant names for your cat...
145-You've seen the CATS Video 17 times, and notice a new thing each time...
146-You fuss about, trying to get you cat to sing or even talk! (without
meows)
147-You call your cats nmes from CATS, and they actually respond! (all eight
of my cats have second cat-names)
148-You wear silver garland for a tail 24/7.
149-You dance around the house for days in an imitation of your favorite Cat,
after finding a picture of them.
150-You don't have any idle time, because you are always searching the web for
more Cats info.
151-You burst into tears when you didn't get more Cats stuff for a present.
152-When you are alone at home you pretend
that specific Cat that you so much adore is there with you and you talk to
him, or at night he's there next to you in bed
153-You try to teach your mice knitting.
154-You try to find jobs for your roaches.
155-You asked your postman if he's seen grizz.
156-you greet frineds with a meow.
157-You wear the makeup from cats for fun
158-Your nails are 5 inches long, and painted a milkly-white.
159-You grow whiskers.
160-You refer to God as The Everlasting Cat.
161-You make your cat listen to the soundtrack, in hopes that he/she will start
singing or at least look like they recognize it.
162-You feel insulted because there isn't a Jellicle Cat that looks like your cat.
163-You send the director a drawing of a costume idea for your cat because of
above reason.
164-You wonder why there aren't books written by or about the Jellicles.
165- You hiss and run away when a car's
headlights pass over you.
166-you make tiny tap shoes for the bugs in your house
167-you spend all your money on a unitard, wig, etc.....
168-you email people telling them what is wrong with their Cats site
169-you wish they made a Cats radio station
170-when they dont, you do
171-You heard the cats say "Macavity's not there!!" after he ran away
172-For a talent show, you put on a scene from Cats
173-You make a list of things that went wrong in the video.
174-your parents know the only effective way to punish you is to take away your CATS stuff
175-your liscense plate reads 'TSE1'
176-You've made up yor own jellicle name
177-your E-mail adress refers to CATS
178-You noticed the the SNL sketch was really filmed at winter garden theater
179-You talk about the cast members as if they were close friends of yours
180-You bribe ALW to put you in CATS
181-You know that the bad editing in the movie (ie jennyanydots) wasnt really bad editing, it was mistoffelees using his magic
182-Your daily routine: Eat Sleep, watch CATS
183- you buy stuffed cats that look like the ones from CATS and you try to have conversations with them
184-You feel offended when they dont talk back
185-You've memorized the entire dance to the jellicle ball sequence
186-you've made up your own dance to the Jellicle Ball sequence
187-You threaten anyone who uses CATS and GAY in the same sentance
188-this is a list of your new years resolutions
189-when you watch a song on the video you sing along
190- when its over you rewind it and sing the harmony
191 then once again you rewind it and sing in the same time in more than one key
192- You'd absolutley DIE if you were told Jacob Brent had a girlfriend.
193- Same with Micheal Gruber.
194- You have the movie "Bean" because Sir John Mills is in it. (and you've never totally seen the whole movie, 'cause Sir John is only in the first couple minutes or so..:)
195- You think the animated "King and I" was stupid, and you wish they made Cats instead.
196- You're offended whenever you go to Blockbuster and your parents won't let you rent Cats.
197- You bang your head against the wall in fury because they put the Making of Cats
on DVD, but not on VHS. (and you don't have DVD!!>:(
198-Your teacher assigns an essay, and you write it about JB
199-you go to London just to see CATS live.
200-you get upset when your parents get you a dog not a cat
201-over half these things are true!!
202-you spent your whole summer watching or listning to cats non stop.
203-you try puling ut you're hair to convince people you're sheding
204-you do all these once a day
205-you're boyfriend hates you and the feeling is mutual but you stivk with him because his name is Jacob and his last name starts wtih a B.
206-you sign you're last name as "Jellicle"
207-You hiss and swipe at people.
208-You have hissing fights with your friend.
209-Your schedule revolves around your Cats chat.
210-You fantasize about being a Cat in the cast.
211-You stalk the cast members, even if you haven't seent them.
212-Your Buddy List consists of mainly people you met in your Cats chat and/or message board and/or cast members.
213-Your favorite places list is filled with cats sites.
214-You write down The Naming of Cats in math class.
215-You write the names of the Cats, cast members you adore, and lyrics from the songs in your agenda.
216-You have a hompage devoted to Cats.
217-You noticed the incorrect spelling of Jemima in the end credits of the video (the additional vocal recordings part).
218-You allow your younger sibling to paint a Cat's face on you, in the full knowledge you will look terrible.
219-You allow your photo to be taken afterwards.
220-You have studied the show programme and souvenir brochure so many times they have fallen to bits.
221-You needed hospital treatment after attempting to swing through the trees
222-You have adopted Rumpelteazer's giggle and use it at every opportunity.
223-You watch all the repeats of "The Simpson's" in order to spot the episode featuring Cats.
224-You hiss at the TV when Alonzo and Munkustrap fight Macavity in the video.
225-You have sudden uncontrollable urges to pounce on moving objects.
226-Your teachers have recommended you should visit the School Psychiatrist because of this.
227-You eat Kit-E-Cat when no one's home.
228-You like it.
229-You actually checked to see whether there is really any such thing as the "Heaviside Layer" (and there is, cos I checked).
230-You harass your music teacher to stage a production of Cats instead of Grease.
231-You decide one of your friends is your identical twin and copy her (or his) every movement.
232-You begin to hallucinate seeing Firefrorefiddle the Fiend of the Fell.
233-Having failed to become "lean as a lynx", you resolve to be "mean as a minx" instead.
234-You dress as a Pollicle and perform the Pollicle march in front of your grandparents.
235-You visit Dumfries Station every weekend, hoping for a glimpse of Skimbleshanks.
236-You try to follow your cat every time they leave the house, in the hope of discovering the Jellicle Ball.
237-You plan to get married dressed as your favourite cat.
238-You're convinced you can see in the dark
239-Even after you knock over two lamps and trip over over the living room couch at midnight!
240-Because now you're convinced Macavity snuck in and rearranged all the furniture in your house!
241-You have no clue what the other Jellicles look like because you spend all your time gazing longingly at Misto(not me, of course! I look at the other cats when he's off-screen! *grin*)
242-Instead of carrying wallet-sized pics of your friends and family, you carry laminated pics of the CATS cast you printed off the Net
243-And you whip 'em out to show to complete strangers!
244-You decline into a deep depression when no one will take you to see CATS live in your area
245-You crawl on all fours instead of walking when in your house
246-And when your mom yells at you to get up, you dance around on tiptoes making graceful hand gestures
247-When told to take a bath, you begin licking your arm
248-You practice being vague and aloof
249-You've written a prequel and a sequel to the original CATS (at least, thought up the basic storylines!)
250-At work, you break out into song and dance from CATS
251-And each time you finish a song, half the cusomers applaud and compliment you.
252-The other half just look at you funny!
253-And you frighten your co-workers!
254-You take numerous catnaps throughout the day
255-You've renamed all your friends with names from CATS
256-And they respond
257-You've renamed your Beanie Baby cats with names from CATS
258-You leaf through People's 50 Most Beautiful People Issue and are annoyed and deeply offended when no one from the CATS video is on it
259-You write to People suggesting they come out with a 50 Most Beautiful Cats issue
260-When they don't, you do!
261-your bedroom walls are wallpapered with pictures from CATS
262-Even though your mom thinks CATS is stupid, thanks to your watching it at least 3 times a day, she finds herself singing her least favorite song (MJ & RT) at work
263-You've begun casting professional wrestlers in CATS roles
264-You've begun casting the CATS cast in Grease roles
265-You become insanely jealous whe anyone suggests Misto could be romantically invoved with ANY Jellicle female
266-You become a Jellicle's Witness, going door to door preaching salvation through CATS
267-You keep calling your sister Electra, and change your name into Jemima.
268-You write your name "Jemima" During a test.
269-You dance infront the TV screen while you're watching Cats, infront your family, and you're not doing it well.
270-You print out every single Cats picture you find on the net. (which causes your printer out of ink.)
271-You write down 'Macavity' during math class, and 'Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer' during Boilogy class.
272-You have a BIG test tomorrow, but you still watch Cats that night.
273-If you don't watch Cats a day, you'll die.
274-You draw the Cats logo on your test papers. (which is not allowed)
275-You dream about Cats.
276-You're writing this.
277-If you don't watch Cats a day, you'll die.
278-you can no longer speak words, only meow, hiss, growl, purr...
279-you are asked to name your best friends and Rumpleteazer comes way before your real life friend Kate.
280-your idol is Demeter.
281-Bombalurina is your favorite actress.
282-you refuse to respond to aything else but your cat name.
283-you cry because you are not mentioned in "The Naming of Cats."
284-when you use a name in a hypothetical situation, it is always suspicioucly) Mungojerrie.
285-you had a major falling-out with your friend when he/she said Pouncival wasn't a word.
286-you learn to scratch behing your ear with your foot.
287-you see faint stripes appearig on your arms, legs, and back.
288-you accidentally address your friend as Jemima before remembering her name is really Courtney.
289-you are on Cloud Nine, because you can talk about Michael Gruber, the object of your affection, without anyone knowing who you mean-- no blackmail here!
290-your parents put you up for adoption when you dress up your cats as Pekes and Pollicles.
291-your friends start treating YOU like Grizabella.
292-you refuse to go out with anyone with a last name other than Gruber.
293-you are mystified when others are not familiar with the name Jellylorum.
294-someone says, "this is this," and you immediately belt out, "and that is that, and there's how you address a cat!"
295-you are actually jealous of your pet cats.
296-you wear holes through the knees of all your pants from crawling.
297-you yelp in pain when someone steps on your feather boa tail.
298-you hyperventilate when you see a pet store window with a sign that says, "CATS"... until you realize they mean the real thing.
299-your guidelines for flirting are defined by Bombalurina.
300-you are deeply offended/saddened when you hear that someone is allergic to cats.
301-you swipe at your friends when they don't want to talk about Cats.
302-you always get strange looks in public, no matter how well you perfom "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer" for the crowd!
303-you are bewildered when you leap onto someone's back and they don't turn into Macavity.
304-you take it as a compliment if someone says you are cock of the walk when you're walking alone.
305-people are well aware that you are NOT a dog.
306-you won't part with your battered catnip mouse-- EVER.
307-you want to name your kid-- boy OR girl-- Skimbleshanks, with the middle name Therailwaycat (one word).
308-you become a famous actress and make your stage name Tantomile.
309-you wake up on the floor because you fell out of bed while dancing Victoria's solo in your sleep...again.
310-you hope your best friend disappears so you can call in Mr. Mistoffelees.
311-you make a night life out of stealing winter vests and woolworth pearls.
312-you describe anything cool as "jellicle."
313-your English teacher wonders how you know what "terpsichorean" means.
314-EVERYONE wonders when you learned to sing Italian opera.
315-you stay up all night reading these reasons!
316-you refer to the Toronto Stock Exchange innitials as T.S. Eliot.
317-you read this entire list in less than ten minutes.
318-you dess you cat(s) up as CATS characters for Halloween if they don't already look like them. (at least my cat looks like Misto, except it's a girl)
219-if you get pheasent for lunch, you much prefer grouse.
320-you go to Germany just to see if you can find Joh Partrige.
321-you rent all the movies, bye all the albums, and see all the plays that have CATS actors from all the productions.
322-you make your own CATS soundtrack by taping of the video if you can't afford to buy it....or you sing it yourself. (I did!)
323-you have a Zip disk (100 MB) completely filled with CATS midis, sound files, pics, etc. and you've almost filled another.
324-you listen to CATS midis while you do your homework on the computer.
325-you cry when there aren't any costume stores around that don't carry CATS costumes.
326-Dogs are afraid of you
327-You refer to your hands as paws, your fingernails as claws, and your feet as footpaws
328-When you go to a party, the host/ess hides his/her pet cats
329-You cry for hours after seeing a dead cat on the road
330-You scare your grandmother, saying it is time for her "new Jellicle life"
331-You shriek in fury whenever people refer to female cats as male, and males as female
332-You are furious when your parents forbid you from keeping the "Alonzo cat" you found, even if it will make the entire cast of your cats complete
333-You and your friend have battles to see who can sing and dance "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" faster
334-You strongly believe you are from the "Cat Planet", and your only visiting the humans on Earth
335-You're arrested for animal abuse after beating a dog for fighting one of your cats, and the cat started the fight
336-You make posters of the Jellicles for your room
337-People start using the stairs after being with YOU in the elevator and listening to your Jellicle songs
338-When at a family reunion, you shamelessly sings "Old Deuteronomy" whenever you see your grandfather
339-You put pheasant, grouse, fish, AND rabbit on the porch at night (despite your parents protests), in high hopes that the Tugger will visit you
340-When you are forbidden to watch Cats, you watch "The Aristocats", or "101 Dalmatians", or "101 Pollicles" as you call it
341-Your listening to your Cats CD while reading this
342-Your watching and listening to your Cats video while reading this
343-When babysitting, you refuse to read any other bedtime story than "Old Possum's book of Practical Cats"
344-When you see Clinton on the news, you don't think of Monica, you don't think of bombings and Kosovo, you think of his cat Socks
345-your Cats video has been in the VCR so long that it won't come out-- and you don't care!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! This page has run out of space. Please continue on to the next one.
You Know You Love Cats FAR Too Much When...II
Email: jellicleball@hotmail.com
