Friday, September 12, 2003
There is a light at the end of the tunnel...
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Thursday, September 11, 2003
Someone remind me never to sleep again. I'm sick of dreams about death, and I'm sick of dreams about people saying things to me to confirm my worst fears about myself. I'm sick of being depressed, but I don't want to go back to not being depressed, because that was just scary. Is there no way out of this living hell?
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Wednesday, September 10, 2003
I wish...
- ...people could understand how I feel without having to suffer to gain the understanding.
- ...I could capture a moment in time and never lose it so that I could always go back and see and feel it again.
- ...I could trust enough to lean on someone else when I can't make it on my own.
- ...someone would just wave a magic wand and fix me.
- ...someone would at least explain to me why I can't be fixed.
- ...the world wouldn't seem so horrible when I wake up at 4am.
- ...I wouldn't wake up at 4am.
- ...people would return my calls when I actually muster up the strength to make the call in the first place.
- ...pills wouldn't have 6-week adjustment periods.
- ...pills wouldn't have side-effects.
- ...I didn't need to take pills.
- ...distractions would really distract.
This has been your depressing moment for the day. Please try to find a happy page to make up for it. *Note: You won't find it anywhere that starts with https://www.angelfire.com/mi/genastorhotz...
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Tuesday, September 9, 2003
Why September is sucking:
- Wesley, the family dog of 12 years, had to be put to sleep yesterday.
- My alternator died while I was driving in the dark - meaning that is was REALLY dark for a while there.
- I had an emotional crash last week sometime - can't remember what day it was, but I've been really depressed since then.
- My psychiatrist changed my pills again, and the new pills have a 6-week "titration" period, which means I'm going to have to take more time off work while adjusting.
This has been your depressing moment for the day. Please try to find a happy page to make up for it. *Note: You won't find it anywhere that starts with https://www.angelfire.com/mi/genastorhotz...
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Friday, September 5, 2003
Yes, still no backgrounds.
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