There were rows and rows of people sitting in the cold metal folding chairs under the tent. The casket had been set on a contraption that would lower Taylor into the ground once everyone had left. All that Randy could think was that Riverside Cemetery had been made famous as the middle Hanson brother's final resting place. Here they were, burying Taylor Hanson, teen rockstar, brother extraordinaire, best friend, and all she could think about was how girls would flock to pay their respects to her boyfriend. Was he even that anymore?

In the past week instead of pretending this was all some huge joke, big mistake, she should have been struggling to find a way to cope. Now she felt it was too late. She felt as though she'd betrayed Taylor by not believing he was really dead. The thought stung her inside. She sniffled and felt sobs welling deep inside her.

There wasn't a headstone yet, which in many ways bothered Randy. Didn't he deserve one? It would take a while, though, for the headstone to be ordered and made. Nobody saw this coming. It broadsided everyone. Randy hugged her jacket closer to her as the wind that Oklahoma was famed for swept through, chilling everyone to the bone. On the hills of fire the darkest hour, I was dreaming of my true love's pyre, Who will bring a light to stoke the fire?

Randy could hear the familiar song fighting to the surface of her thoughts. She'd listened to it often, although she'd never really liked it. Fear not for you're still breathing, On a winter's day, I saw the lifeblood drained away, A cold wind blows on a windless day. She shook her head, and tried to focus on Taylor. There were tears being shed everywhere. Randy felt so superficial, crying like the rest of them. She felt like she should be doing something special to remember him instead of just sitting here blubbering. Hear the cry for new life the morning's flame. Taylor would have hated her to just cry like this, she was sure. Oh, God, she missed him. You were the brightest light that burned too soon in vain,

"Ashes to ashes," the priest, who'd been kind enough to lead this sermon, said in a sad voice. Fear not for you're just dreaming, a voice in the deepest recesses of Randy's imagination was singing on. "Dust to dust."

The man looked heavenward, and a tear trickled down his ruddy, bony cheek. Randy felt tears again spilling onto her own cheeks. Their paths had worn red grooves into her cheeks. Her jacket was now spotted with tears, which were quickly turning into small bits of ice against the cold. On a winter's day I saw the lifeblood drained away, A cold wind blows on a windless day.

Zac and Randy sat on the couch, staring at the people who bustled around. His mother had retired earlier, and his father was trying to keep an eye on the kids who were stumbling through the house looking confused. It was 9 o'clock, and yet none of these nuisance relatives had bothered to leave. By the shadows of the night I go, I moved away from the crowded room, That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret, They don't know how to feel, they don't know what is lost... On the occasion that Randy had tried to leave, Zac had pulled her back saying that she shouldn't go just yet. Zac had always been a good friend of Randy's. He'd always made time for her, so in return she made a little time for him. Her parents and sister had left hours ago, saying that they'd come to pick her up when she called. Lost in the darkness of a land , Where all the hope that's offered is, Memories of being taken by the hand...

"Zac," a weary voice said. Zac looked up at his father, who looked as though he might collapse and break into a million pieces at any given moment. And we are led into the sun... "Can you help your old man out and get the kids to bed?"

"Okay," he said. "Is Isaac here?"

Mr. Hanson nodded. "He's staying in the studio tonight. He should be in the kitchen helping Virginia wash dishes if you need any help."

"That's good," Zac said. "'Night, Dad."

Mr. Hanson ruffled Zac's hair limply then trudged away. But I don't have a hold on what is real

Though we can only try, What is there to give or to believe? Zac looked at Randy sadly. "You should call your mom now. It's getting late."

She nodded and went to get the phone hanging on the wall. The call was quick, but when she looked back at the couch, Zac had disappeared. She sat on the couch to wait for him. For 40 minutes she watched as various and sundry relatives meandered by, a few stopping by and politely asking her how she was doing. Every once in a while, one would stop and ask who she was and why she was there. One of Taylor's aunts whom she had never met had walked away muttering that 17 was too young for boyfriends after speaking with Randy. I want it all to go away, I want to be alone, Sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell... Randy felt left out and angry.

A car horn honked, and Randy jumped. She peeked out the curtain and saw her mother's car sitting in the dark driveway. She thought for a split second about perhaps going upstairs to find Zac, but instead decided to find Isaac and telling him that she was leaving. She walked timorously to the kitchen. Isaac was leaning over the bar, head in hands. Virginia was nowhere to be seen. I feel there's nothing left to fight for, No reason for a cause... "Isaac," she said.

Isaac looked up at her, red-eyed. "Hey, Randy."

"My mom's here," she said. "Are you okay?"

He sniffed and nodded. "I'm fine. How're you?"

"I'm good," she replied. Isaac smiled oppressively at her.

"I just wanted to let you know that we don't hold anything against you here," he said. "That girl, she was nuts. We don't want you to feel like anything was your fault."

"What do you mean?" Randy asked. A distant car horn punctuated her question.

His face was puzzled. "You don't know?"

"No," she said, shaking her head slowly.

He shrugged. "Then don't worry about it. You're young, talented, and very pretty. There's so much for you out there, nobody here wants Taylor's...passing to slow you down."

Her eyebrows furrowed. Two sharp blows of a car horn made her say, "Thank you. Goodbye."

"I'll be seeing you," he told her, and put his head back in her hands. She exited through the kitchen door, which went down into the basement. There was a stairwell against the far wall that led to another door. She hurried up the steps and opened the door. You had to jiggle the handle, because often the door got stuck. She ended up on the side of the Hanson's house. She scurried through the darkness, tromping through the freshly fallen snow, to the front. The car horn blew again. And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near, I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try...

"I'm coming!" she called, running up to the driveway. She wove through the maze of cars and to her mother's. The headlights suddenly turned on, as she past in front of them. She shielded her eyes, waited for them to adjust to the brightness, and glared at the driver. She was surprised to see Lia in the driver's seat, looking bored. She motioned for Randy to get in. Randy did so.

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