Funny Texties
Hello my Friends!this is Genie again The Cup Holder
Customer: "Can u help me, the cup holder on my new computer broke, and I don't know what 2 do?
Woman Watch Out If
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said, it was physically
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Friend: "Cup holder? What r u talking about? None of our computers come with a cup holder
attached to them, and I've never heard of one that did."
Customer: Yes, well the one u sold me did, and the other day I went 2 set a mug of coffee
on it and it just snapped off!"
Friend: "Sir, can you describe what the cup holder looks like, because I still can't picture what
a cup holder on a computer would look like?"
At this point the customer is getting a little irritated!
Customer: "Look, I don't know how you could not know that you sell computers with cup
holders on them, because it's right in the middle of the thing, and when you push a button
on the side, it pops out so you can set your drink on it, and it says 4X on the front cover!"
A long pause . . .
Friend: Sir, are you telling me, you're using your CD-Rom drive as a beverage holder?"
Customer: "What's a CD-Rom Drive?"
Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Discoverer : Adam Edenwarden
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from 35 - 200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1.Surface usually covered with thin painted film
2.Boils at room Temperature
3.Freezes without any known reason
4.Melts if given special treatment
5.Bitter if incorrectly used
6.Sweeter under certain conditions
7.Ductile if moulded properly
8.Yields to pressure applied at correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1.Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great
quantities of expensive substances
2.May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
3.Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
4.Most powerful money non-reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
1.Highly ornamental, especially in bikes and cars
2.Can be a great aid to relaxation
3.Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
1.Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy
2.Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
AVAILABLITY:
1.Available in wide different forms and varieties
2.Can be easily seen in all busy areas
POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
1.Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2.Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different
locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
!!! WARNING !!! PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGE AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS.
NOTE: New properties are still being discovered. Please wait for updates.
If you have found some properties not listed above, please suggest.
At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall,
jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.They open the casket to find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for ten more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking the husband cries out,
"WATCH OUT FOR THE WALL".
impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal
its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible.The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went 2 hell?" The little girl replied, "Then u ask him".
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