Sacrificial Forgiveness
We were working to pay off many of his bills so we wouldn't have them over our heads when we did move into one home. I had even gotten him a diamond ring that he had just loved.
The day came for the funeral trip and he told me good bye when he dropped off my car.
Then as the time for the funeral came and went and I was expecting him back any time, I was at my fathers and got some very bad news. My boss worked for my father, so he knew this man also. We had taken up a collection in the shop to help them get to the funeral and the company always sent flowers also. My father was dating the lady who took care of sending these flowers. She had gotten the news that we had sent flowers to a non-existent funeral. We had collected money for a trip to who knew where, for a non-existent funeral. Everyone knew we were seeing each other and I got to face the humiliation of how he had cheated all of us, but especially me. I just died inside.
I picked up a bottle of wine and went home to my little six month old baby. He was being watched right next door. We went inside and I got him fed and to bed and I started to drink, feeling sorry for myself.
The more I drank the sorrier I felt for myself until finally I remembered the shotgun I had in the corner of my bedroom. It would be so easy to put that trigger in my mouth and blow my brains out. As I got drunker it was as if that was the only answer. I had cried and cried and cried. Finally I cried the right thing. I said, even as an unsaved person, "Lord, send me some help, send someone, please help me." And I went on crying.
Shortly from the bedroom I heard a little cry. It got louder and louder. My little boy who had some health problems from birth, woke crying and I forgot me for a time and became Mommy. His little knees were pulled up into his chest and I knew it was his bowel problems again. I held him and rocked him until his tummy stopped hurting crying just as hard as he was at first. He fell asleep in my arms and I went on rocking. Finally exhausted I put him and myself to bed.
Still feeling very alone, I shut out the lights and had just gotten into bed when there was a knock on the door. It was the baby's father. I didn't even know he knew where I lived by this time. I told him what a rough day I had just gone through, and he held me and that was just what I needed.
I was unsaved at this time, yet God heard my prayer and did answer it. He didn't have to, but our loving father knows past, present and future all at once and knew I would be his child one day. The devil just does it to everyone, saved or unsaved. Had it not been for God, I really believe I would have died that night. God had my little boy save me and then his father came and comforted me.
The missing man came to my home when he returned not realizing I knew anything. I thank God that I do not talk the way I did that day to him to anyone anymore. It seems they had gone to Kentucky together. I demanded every penny he had ever gotten from me and the return of the ring. Of course he had neither one with him, nor did I ever see either one of them. I added up what he owed me and it came to $1500.00 stolen from a woman trying to support herself and her baby alone.
He disappeared from my life for a year at a time but always came around and even if I had moved he always managed to find me. Once even calling my fathers saying I was needed for overtime, and since I no longer worked where Dad did, my brother gave him my new phone number and address.
Each time he came I demanded $1500.00 as soon as I saw him. Year after year this went on, till finally the last time he came to my home he had just come from California, or so he said. He could not even look me in the eye for very long, he had sunk so low. I was a Christian by this time, and still I demanded my money back. He had nothing for me, but he did tell me about an experience he had gone through that finally had him thinking about eternity himself.
He had gotten in with a group of people and was so fascinated with the power this one guy had that he got to know him better. One day while standing in a line with someone yelling at a large group of these guys, it might have been jail but he wouldn't say, when the yelling man's back was turned to walk the other way, this fellow stepped out of line. He made a motion like rolling with his forearms to the guy's back and quickly got back in line. That guy turned to return down the line and tripped and fell for no reason. This caught my ex-friend's attention. Several things like this happened and he got so intrigued they went to the same church together--the church of satan.
I was appalled! He went on to say they had taken him into a place and given him a robe to put on. They were all wearing them. Then they all went in this other room that had nothing but a podium with a candle on it and the devil's star on the floor. There were no vents or windows. Then they moved in a circle and chanted something for quite a while. Then his induction into their little group got strange. Suddenly he felt a cold chill as if a draft had just gone through the room and dropped the temperature ten degrees, and then the candle went out when no one was near it. That was it! He flew from the room and knowing him, it was probably when he flew from that state.
I tried as a new believer to treat him decent after that but he really hadn't changed much. He came in with a friend one day and said something so dirty to me that I literally slugged him in the jaw and ordered him out of my home. I had never done that to anyone and I have not done it to anyone since. That is how dirty his statement was.
Have I forgiven him? Yes. He is paying for anything he has ever done to me. He went downhill year after year till he had sunk so low he would be that foul. How sad! He really had the potential to be a good person. I pray for him whenever I think of him, but I have moved to another state now and he has no way of knowing that or how to contact me. My father died and the home he had isn't owned by our family any longer. The only one who can reach him now is God anyway, so I leave him in God's hands.
As I grew toward God, he had chosen to grow away from God and this is where his journey had taken him. Please don't let this happen to anyone you know. I didn't understand the power of prayer back then. I was an infant in the Lord and making plenty of my own mistakes. As my journey has taken me around the mountain of God, his had taken him in a completely different direction.
God doesn't want this for anyone. If you want power, God can give you power. You simply must learn to do things his way and you will be amazed at the power he gives you. All he wants is the glory and you couldn't do it without him so the glory should be his. I doubt if the other one would be so magnanaous. As you can see, the devil will give you things, but he demands a high price for anything he gives you. In the process you lose your self respect, your honor, and in time you will lose your life into the lake of fire where death and hell will one day go. God doesn't want that for anyone. He wants to make everyone his children. He loves us and wants us to be happy and since he made us, he knows what it will take to make us happy, even when we don't.
If you haven't given your life to him, today is the day. If you know someone else who hasn't, pray for them until they do. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, James says.
Keep in mind that the story I told came from him, not me. I believed it was true, but I also believed he loved me. What I will say is it could be true, and if it is, don't put yourself or someone else in that position. Choose life, not death. God loves people and wants them to be truely happy and only he can show them how to succeed at that. Trust him today.
Whatever your needs let us pray for them and believe God for mighty victory. He does supply our needs. Let us join our hearts for the people of the world to come to salvation, God is waiting!