An Emotional Trip to Florida

God help you if you get off on the wrong exit. Most cities have cloverleafs or at least some way to turn around. Not in Orlando. Here, you miss your exit, tough luck, pal. You took the wrong one? Too bad, why not enjoy our other fine attractions on this street. You wanna turn back? Welcome to the Hotel California.

I was supposed to pick up Cindy at the airport Thursday night at 11:45 p.m. I left my hotel at 11:02. Forty seven minutes later I finally pulled into the baggage claim pickup. This STUPID CITY has the worst road system in the world!!! Okay, fine! DON'T point the way to the airport! Go ahead and focus all your directions toward theme parks, I DON'T CARE!!! Just let me go the other way!!! I don't WANT to use this stupid access road for 7 miles!!! You're taking me the wrong way anyway! Okay, fine, FINALLY an exit off this stupid road, now where's the turnoff to I-4 like you promised? NO!!! I don't WANT to go East! I want to go West! Why don't you just let me go either way!!! Oh God, how do I get off here, NO!!! I don't WANT 408! TOLL!!! I'M NOT PAYING A TOLL!!! GOD, WHERE IN THE F**K AM I!!!?!?!?!

The City Planners and Department of Transportation should be ashamed of themselves, much more than me for the string of expletives that spewed from my mouth during that forty five minute span of hysteria. There is absolutely no way to turn around in this city. You simply cannot go back in the direction you came from. Not only that but the directional signs are misleading. One sign tells you to get in the right lane for such and such a park, only to merge that lane to the left 100 feet later. Another sign puts you in a lane for the Magic Kingdom and points straight ahead, only to confuse you by having that lane go straight ahead as well as veer off to the right, with no indication that you were supposed to do so. It is the most unforgiving road system I have ever seen.

I greeted Cindy at the airport and promptly punched her in the face. Friday morning, we headed for Busch Gardens Tampa. When we got to the parking lot I slid into the tram and who should be sitting next to me but Matthew "Mamoosh" Sullivan and his dad, James! Hey!!! What a nice surprise! An even bigger surprise was about to happen when we got off the tram and walked toward the entrance. Matt looked to his right and said "oh, there's some RRCers over th......." He craned his neck....."Is that....." He did a double, then triple take....."OH MY GOD!! MIKE!"

Mike "Bassistist" Miller and his friend Patti Burhans had secretly planned, with help from yours truly, to surprise everyone by showing up unexpectedly! For over a month I had been forwarding email to Mike containing itineraries and hotel information, along with plans to drive Mike and Patti from Tampa and in and around Orlando. We also worked Matthew over quite a bit in emails suggesting how sad it was that Mike couldn't come. The surprise could not have been pulled off any better, and Matthew's reaction was priceless!

RRCer, native Floridian and resident coaster coquette Elissa graciously let us use her season pass to obtain discounts on our tickets. The park opened at 10 o'clock and our group of twenty immediately headed for Gwazi.

Gwazi was my choice for most underrated coaster of last year. I have been championing it since the first time I rode it. I seriously love it and think it's a great design, full of airtime and wonderful changes in direction. The problem, I think, is that most coaster enthusiast are backseat riders, and Gwazi is a front seat ride. There are at least eight good moments of airtime in the front including three *outstanding* moments of sustained floatage, two of which take place with a change in direction! Unfortunately my favorite side, Tiger, was not running on this day. Cindy had to point out the construction workers at the bottom of Tiger's first drop, then wondered aloud what in the world am I looking at when I ride. The truth is, when I'm riding a really great thrill ride, my mind kind of goes blank. I don't register logical thought processes or notice things a lot of other people seem to be able to. I am focusing on the thrill of the moment, and I can't concentrate on anything except how excited I am!

Gwazi has become notorious for its legendary loading procedures. But I really didn't notice any big delay in dispatching on this day. The ride ops seemed fairly quick and if nothing else they were friendly and pulled up on my lap bar rather pushing down.

I have two favorite moments on Gwazi. One, as I said in my first trip report, is the entrance to the lifthill. You drop out of the station and continue curving around until you're heading back toward the station. You then take another little drop, and then the coaster makes a VERY surprising JUMP into the lift hill! I *LOVE* this moment! It actually makes a POUNCE into the lift hill! It feels the way a lion or tiger might pounce on its victim!

My second favorite moment is the extreme airtime that occurs halfway through the ride. You enter a helix to the right and at the top of that turn you are lifted out of your seat. Immediately the track dives steeply down and to the left, and you float all the way through this change of direction. This is one of my favorite front seat moments on any ride!

After Gwazi we all headed for Montu. There queue was deserted and two trains were running which provided ERT like conditions! Montu was Patti's first inverted coaster and Mike's first outside of Batman! Matthew's poor dad, James, got sick after two rides but had the constitution to put off blowing chunks until he got to the restroom. Fred of LA also came equipped with wristbands which were supposed to control his motion sickness, but he, too, had to sit out a few rides.

Montu's mid-course brake was on much heavier than the last time I rode it. This really affects the second half of the ride and keeps it much lower in my rankings than I'd like. The first half, particularly the batwing and it's awesome whipping action in the back, is brilliant, and the ride's final dip and flatline spin in the tunnel always leaves me cheering. Montu is really B&M's best design. I sure wish Busch would see fit to run it all-out as it was intended.

After our mini-ERT on Montu, our group slowly began to make our way toward the back of the park. David Hamburger began to assume his leader role by directing us through several animal exhibits. I really enjoy doing this and I think it's a shame more coaster enthusiasts don't take the time to take in the entire park. So often we're focused only on running from one ride to the next, so much so that we forget to enjoy the other things life has to offer, like beauty and nature. I know a lot of enthusiasts don't enjoy "wasting" time on non-coaster related activities, but our group seemed to be having a wonderful time taking in the entire park.

We stopped at Scorpion for a couple of spins. On my second ride I forgot to take my hat off and it went flying off my head on the first drop. Contrary to Cindy's melodramatic account, I did NOT fling myself on the ground and whoa myself into hysteria. I merely commented in passing "oh dear, I seem to have lost my bonnet." The ride op instructed me to return at three o'clock, and I calmly bowed and walked away.

Lunch at the Festhaus followed. Last year I had grown tired of the Festhaus offerings - the German potato salad is too runny and they always slop it on your plate. I don't like runny things touching my food. And the cabbage is not what I call a good side dish. This year, however, the Festhaus has combined their other food offerings throughout the park and made them available at the Festhaus! I got the barbeque ribs and American potato salad, and it was *delicious!* They also had some cannelloni that Roz ordered, and it looked wonderful. Had we not made reservations for pasta that night I would have ordered it.

After lunch we went to Kumba. Only one train was running and I'm not sure why, but it made the option of riding a second time much less attractive. David Hamburger instructed us all that we would be returning to end the night on Kumba. Grrr, I hate being scheduled that way, Dave!

Mike Saunders suggested a go on the Ubanga Banga bumper cars. Personally I think he just likes saying Ubanga Banga. Anyway, our group had an informal takover of this ride and Mike was right, these bumper cars are great! There's no middle divider and head ons are inevitable. Four of us plowed into Jeff Johnson sending his car up over the railing! Now *this* is the kind of spontaneous incident I enjoy! This was, in fact, the most fun I've had on bumper cars since Visionland.

Over to Python for what is normally thought of as a quick coaster count kerching. But I happen to like Python a lot, in fact it's the only Arrow corkscrew I can honestly say I enjoy. It has great airtime in the backseat down the first drop, it is smooth, and that flyby next to the station roof is a fantastic arm chopper! I thought about screaming "OH MY HAND!" but decided against it. Anyway, I think Python is in a really pretty setting and it's a nice, smooth and easy to enjoy coaster.

While the others went off to ride the log flume, I walked calmly back to Scorpion to retrieve my hat. Slowly, I walked up the exit ramp and nonchalantly asked the ride op if by chance he had happened to see....... miraculously he was holding it in his hands. OH JOY, OH RAPTURE! MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS TREMORS HAT! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!

I proudly rejoined our group, strutting like a peacock in my smart looking cap. We slowly made our way back toward Gwazi but first Dominatrix Dave INSISTED that we visit the Lorikeet exhibit. I was going there anyway! Few in our group listened and instead went to ride Gwazi, but Dave, Jeff Cook, Cindy and I entered the cage. This is a huge open aviary that gives you a chance to get interactive with the birds. Dave purchased some nectar in a cup and gave one to me. Thanks, Dave! I didn't get one at first because, well, because I was afraid. I was content to play the role of passive observer, but once I had the cup in my hand it was fun feeding the birds and having them crawl on your hand. I looked over and saw Cindy doing her best Tippi Hedren imitation, with birds nesting on top of her shoulders and one climbing on her head. There was one particuarly friendly bird who kept chirping loudly right in her ear! The lorikeets are beautiful birds, but they have absolutely no manners at all. Several of them whizzed by me at lightning speed which caused me to recoil. One of them even pooped on David's head.

We must have stayed in the Lorikeet exhibit for at least half an hour, and it was very hard to pull ourselves away. This was one one of my favorite memories of this day.

Again, we headed for Gwazi, but not before stopping long enough to watch the pink flamingos. More than any other animals at Busch Gardens, I am fascinated by the pink flamingos. I could sit and watch them for hours. They are so bizarre looking! They twist and turn their bodies in ways that look impossible, and they stand on one foot, sometimes swaying so much that you could swear they're about to fall over. I love it when they move together as one group. They get themselves all worked up, then everybody starts opening up their wings and they all run at the same time. After the stamede is over and everybody's settled down, you see that they only moved about ten feet.

Finally, we arrived at Gwazi, and it was here that I planned to spend my final two hours. Each ride got noticeably better than the last, and there was never more than a two train wait. At one point I looked around realized no one in our group was here. "Where IS everybody?," I asked. "I can't believe they aren't riding this!" Finally, Cindy growled and said, "Oh those Californians, with their DRUGS and their MONTU."

By the end of the night Gwazi was really flying. What I wouldn't have given for just one more hour! Some in our group eventually did come back, but most of them followed Dave's orders and ended the night on Kumba.

Mike, Patty, Cindy and I drove back to Orlando. I cannot even begin to describe what a joy it was to have Mike and Patti along on this trip. Mike is one of the most instantly likeable and familiar people I've ever met, and I told Cindy, who had never met him before, that she would like him a lot. Patti was as easygoing and amiable a person as anyone, and the four of us got along like a flock of pink flamingos!

Twenty of us met Jeff King and his partner, Dave, for dinner at Pastamore in Universal's CityWalk. Mike Miller began what would become his mantra for the weekend with the first of several "wow's." We had a long table to ourselves in a perfect area of the restaurant, and it made it easy to have conversations with anyone at our table. Fred of LA and I were assaulted from all sides for our mutual devotion to Angie Dickinson, and Greg Galley, ever the sly and predatory fox, managed to get a shot of me eating after I had successfully eluded the remaining paparazzi in our group.

The food was fantastic! I had eggplant parmigiana and it was so good I didn't want to quit eating, but the portions there are so big it's impossible to clean your plate. Mike and Patti's pasta dishes were served in ten gallon drums. Elissa had the most boring dish, cheese pizza. That's what Sean always gets! What is it with coaster enthusiasts and cheese pizza? Vegetarians Jeff and Dave threw caution to the wind and narled barbarically on their risotto.

After dinner a waiter snuck up behind me and plopped a piece of chocolate cake in front of me. "Happy Birthday from everyone at Pastamore," he said. Matthew!!! I know Matthew was responsible for this. What a great surprise! I felt guilty though, since it wasn't my birthday (quick exposition: last year I celebrated my 40th birthday, which is actually in August, by starting RRC Day at IOA, which was held in November), but Jeff and James, who's birthdays *were* that week, were also given a piece of cake. Our friends, not the waiters, sang Happy Birthday (thank God they didn't call me Poodles) and we shared our cake with everyone. It was really a perfect dinner!

To end the night, we all headed for Old Town. Unfortunately most of it was closed, which is too bad because this place is just a hoot. Roz said we had just missed Sean, who also brought Steve Nuss, who I was looking forward to spending time with. Luckily we were able to get the last rides of the night on the Windstorm coaster, and the ride op, who preferred to be called Animal, was just great, even shutting off the lights for our final ride!

The Skycoaster was packed with people, and about ten of our group signed up for flights. Because of the number of people signed up, it took almost an hour before any of our group could take their turn. I enjoyed being with everyone, and was *shocked* to see James, Cindy and Patti sign up for their flights. I'm glad Derek was able to videotape everyone - it's something they'll enjoy having, particularly Cindy, who will never do another skycoaster again.

I couldn't wait to get back to our hotel. By this time I was dead tired. Friday nights are always the most tiring whenever I got to Florida, and that's because we always go to BGT on Friday. The drive to and from Tampa always dictates that you get up earlier than normal, and the long drive back delays dinner, and anything else you might have planned, by another hour and a half. I never get enough sleep that night and always wonder how I'm going to make it through the following day. But it won't matter, because on this particular day we're going to IOA.

Up Next: RRC Day at IOA