An Emotional Trip to Florida

Now that Cindy and everyone else had left, I had to go to SeaWorld. It was awful. And what made it even worse was that I had to stay the entire day. No coaster enthusiast would want to do that.

It was so awful. Not a pretty park. You wouldn't have liked Journey to Atlantis, it was awful. Boring, not beautifully decorated, it certainly wasn't surprising, it really had nothing unexpected. And Kraken was.......awful. I don't know any other way to describe it. The track's placement over water was really ineffective and those mist filled tunnels and trenches were just so unnecessary. I mean really. I don't even know why I bothered to keep riding over and over. All I kept thinking about was how lucky everyone was to be back home.

Spatch and Sam were the only bright spots in the day as they showed up while I was in line for Kraken. They were as unimpressed as I was, so we drudged our way over to Journey to Atlantis where I was forced to endure another ride, but even that didn't help any. We were miserable. So we went back to Kraken for another ride.

The worst part was after they left. I don't even know why I stayed. There was this section called Key West at SeaWorld that had a Key West main street and it was so awful. At the end of the street was a sunset beach but it wasn't a beach at all because it was full of dolphins. That was so dumb. At feeding time one of them came up to me and plopped himself up right on the ledge next to me and made me pet him under his chin for the longest time. How very droll. Then he made this Flipper ack-ack-ack-ack-ack noise at me for the longest time, then jumped back in the lagoon, took his fin and made a huge wave that completely drenched me right in front of everybody. It was so awful and I became so depressed I ordered some conch fritters and a strawberry coconut pineapple smoothie. I sat under an ordinary palm tree and sulked, barely listening to a combo called the High Tides playing Key West island music. They were not a good group and had no business being there. They certainly did nothing to add to the atmosphere. It was awful, I don't even know why I stayed so long.

Trying to lift my spirits, I walked all over the park. But all I saw was one drab setting after another, with layer upon layer of greenery, plants and flowers. How very typical of Busch. No visually appealling or breathtakingly beautiful scenery and music. No, just your typical greenery and token landscaping, along with standard sealife exhibits, nothing you would call extraordinary.

The sea lions and harbor seals were in the most ordinary setting, something called the Pacific Point Preserve. I became depressed because it was obvious they were not in the Pacific. Pacific waves would have been much wilder. And Up Close with Shamu was also not interesting or extremely thrilling in its own way. Watching a new trainer introduce herself to the whales was not something a coaster enthusiast should be expected to see, especially up close.

Terrors of the Deep was so awful. This was probably the most awful exhibit of all, it was so awful. And Wild Arctic was cold, I could get that at home. Seeing the polar bears, walruses and beluga whales from below was not enchanting. Everything was awful so I became despondent and wound up sitting dockside under an umbrella in the middle of the bay. As I sat there drinking one tropical smoothie after another, I prayed. Prayed for the seconds to tick away so that I could leave this horrible and not very fun place.

It was an awful day, one that no coaster enthusiast could want to take the time to enjoy. I was not entertained and learned very little, except that a coaster enthusiast could not possible love this place. You would have been just as miserable as I was. Aren't you all lucky you left. I envy you.

Up Next: The Final Day at Disney Parks