Photo courtesy of Joyrides

Dear Diary, Last night was about as much fun as a person can stand. So today I figured we'd even things out by going to Six Flags America. For years, I have heard such terrible things about this park. That it's a ghetto, a concrete jungle, a scum pit. Terrible crowds and terrible employees. Well now I would finally get to see for myself. But first a decision. ERT or sleep in? Let's look at the morning ERT schedule.... Trailblazer, Sidewinder and Rodeo.... zzzzzzzz......... We arrived at Six Flags America around 11:00 and planned to meet up with Sean and Chris and everyone at noon. The entrance to the park looks very nice, not at all like the depressed looking ghetto I was expecting. We entered the park and passed the usual Six Flags plaza shops and then I was immediately struck by all the beautiful mature trees surrounding what was obviously an older part of the park. A pretty fountain stood at the center and a statue of a patriot stood at the far end. This was a such a beautiful area! We then entered a western area that was wonderfully themed and reminded me very much of the Southwest Territory at SFGAm. The flooring was even better with little horseshoes branded into the sand colored pavement. This is lovely! I did note the absence of shade immediately after we left the front area though, and I knew I was headed for trouble as the day moved on. We walked over to Roar, our designated meeting spot, and found a nearly empty queue. Let's ride! Unfortunately it looked like the ride operators were taking a long time to dispatch and Cindy finally suggested we try something else. As we walked to the nearest coaster I became fascinated with culture shock. Nearly every person we passed was black. This park is totally populated by black people. Coming from Minnesota, where blacks comprise approximately 2% of the population, I was awestruck by the difference between this park and Valleyfair. When Cindy visited Valleyfair not more than three weeks ago she was stunned that there were only three black people in the entire park, and they were not together. All three of them were with friends who were white. The difference in attitude and behavior was distinctly different as well. Valleyfair is full of white Scandanavians who are reserved by nature. They don't smoke in line, they don't line jump and they wouldn't dream of offending anyone. Compare and contrast that with the crowd, both and black and white, at Six Flags America. Everyone walks without inhibition and there is a noticeable lack of self-consciousness. The language is absolutely shocking. I wasn't in line more than thirty seconds when I heard the following exchange: "That Superman shit is some serious mother fucker." "That shit'll fuck you up." "No mother fuckin way you get me on that cocksucker again." I can just see a group of Valleyfair teenagers being thrown into Six Flags America, all huddled together in a corner and wide eyed, cowering in fear at the black people with dirty mouths! This is nothing like our black friend Brendan back home! The nearest coaster was Mind Eraser. Now I had sworn I would not ride another Vekoma SLC after riding the Serial Thriller at Six Flags Ohio last year. But donning my credit whore cap just this once, I compromised my ethics and agreed to ride. Never. Ever. Again. I hate, loathe, despise and just plain don't care for these poorly designed, assembly line coasters. There is nothing I enjoy about them. Nothing. They are to be endured rather than enjoyed. They are one of only two roller-coasters (the other being Flashback at SFMM) I will never ride again. That ordeal over, we headed back to Roar and found Sean, Chris, Barry, Jon, Neil and Scott in line. Cindy and I followed close behind and took our one and only ride on Roar. I liked it alot. It was a good roller-coaster, but the second hill has absolutely no airtime at all - it does nothing! The best airtime is the short hill after exiting the covered shed. It's a coaster I would ride repeatedly because it's so comfortable (the PTC trains are very nice) and has some nice moments. It's my least favorite GCI coaster, though. I also noticed that the ride ops were very slow in dispatching the trains - five or six minute intervals, perhaps. The Typhoon Sea Coaster was to open at 12:30, and Cindy said we should get in line early for it because it tends to move so slow. We had enough time to ride one other coaster first, so Cindy and I went off to ride Wild One. WOW! Wild One is an awesome, awesome ride! The front three seats deliver massive, kick-ass airtime, and the dogleg throws reminded me the Great Escape Comet! This was a coaster that impressed me VERY much. About the only thing didn't impress me were the ride ops, who like the other coasters we'd ridden, stacked the trains and were unbelieveably slow to dispatch. I don't usually notice or comment on these things, so for me to take notice, without any prompting by anyone I was with, means it had to be incredibly bad. We went back to Typhoon Sea Coaster and Sean and Barry were waiting in line. The graciously got out of line and went to the back with us. Chris, Jon and the others were not yet back from Mind Eraser, and because this line moves unbelieveably slow we decided to go ahead and ride. I do not particularly notice a ride before getting on it. I don't study the layout and try to figure out what it's going to do to me. I tend to concentrate on other things, mainly talking with the people around me. And so I never noticed anything about this ride other than that it had an ominous looking skull which Cindy said usually has water coming out of its eyeballs. This did not look like a friendly water ride! I had overheard Ted Ansley tell Cindy the night before not to tell me anything about the effects on the Typhoon Sea Coaster. I assumed he meant water effects, since I had already figured out it was a log flume. But other than that I knew nothing about this ride. So when we got on (after what seemed like an interminable wait) I really had no idea what to expect. Our boat took off and went through a long tunnel filled with all kinds of pirate theming. When we got to the top of the lifthill we entered a circular hut. The track should have jogged slightly to the left but something terrible happened. Instead of going to the left and aligning us with the drop that was to follow, the boat kept moving straight toward the wall of the hut! I seriously panicked. I knew the boat had gone off its track and we were going to plunge off the side and probably be killed. I had more than a split second, it was a genuine moment of thinking okay, we're going to die, do I freak out or do I stay calm? Suddenly the boat stopped. My heart was racing and I'm sure my eyes were bugged out. I think I put my hand over my mouth and was just too afraid to speak. Then the floor started moving. The boat began rotating to the right, away from the edge of the wall and toward the lifthill we had just come up. Ohhhhh!!!! This is supposed to be happening! WE'RE GOING TO LIVE!!!!! YAY!!!!!! YAY!!!!! WE GET TO LIVE!!!! THIS IS FUN, NOT SCARY!!! I started clapping and saw Cindy laughing and figured out she knew this was supposed to happen. I cannot explain the relief and sheer exhuberance I felt when I made the realization that this was not a headliner in tomorrow's newspaper but in fact part of the ride. The boat continued rotating but stopped just short of the entrance to the lifthill. I leaned out to look for some type of track, thinking we were probably heading for the skull that was straight ahead. I knew we weren't aligned with the lifthill so I thought a wall would open up or slide open and we would head down a different track toward the skull. Well, we didn't. We started going backwards. OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING! My eyes bugged out and my heart started racing again and I looked at Cindy to see if we were okay. She just started laughing at which point I realized Ohhhh!!! We're supposed to go backwards! Nothing's gone wrong, we get to live! This is fun!!!! YAY!!!!! Everybody in the boat knew what was going to happen except me. This was by far the best fakeout I have ever been put through! Even though it scared me half to death, *this* is the reason why I don't like to know anything about a park or coaster or ride before I experience it. The Typhoon SeaCoaster will forever be one of the most memorable rides of my life! Cindy, Sean, Barry and I went to wait in line for Batwing, which was scheduled to open at 2:00. Chris and the others went off again to get in their credits. While waiting for Batwing, Cindy and I decided to do Jokers Jinx, which was a walkon. Jokers Jinx didn't hurt me one bit, but I will only ride in the front so that I can follow the track with my head, plus I have a very long neck and am able to stick my head out enough to avoid the head braces. Still, this ride is unacceptable in its current form. I have no doubt SFA and Fiesta Texas will follow Kings Island and Kings Dominion's lead and remove these painful head restraints. Almost immediately after we rejoined Sean and Barry waiting for Batwing, a riot of sorts broke out. Unbeknownst to us at the time, two kids waiting in front knocked down a bench barrier, at which point the other sheep waiting in line immediately followed. Before we knew it, everyone was bolting down the walkway to get to Batwing's queue entrance. People were trampling over flowers and kicking over benches to get past more people. The four of us walked quickly along with everybody else, only to reach the queue entrance and discover that the ride was NOT open and they were sending everybody back. It was at that time that we realized what had happened. As we walked back I turned and said "Oh my. We just took part in a riot at Six Flags America, Sean." We're nothing but animals and savages, I tell ya! Cindy and I decided to ride Superman. Now I have ridden the identical Superman at Six Flags Darien Lake, but to be honest time and abscence has a way of diminishing the perceived greatness of even the best coasters. I dropped the SFDL Superman to number three in my rankings, behind Six Flags New England's Superman and Cedar Point's Millennium Force. While we were waiting in line Cindy berated me for dropping Superman to number three. She pointed to the coaster laid out in front of me. "Every hill out there delivers better airtime than anything on Millennium Force." "Does not!" I cried. I pointed to the second and third hills. "Those hills are identical to Millennium Force's, and it even has one of Superman's rabbit hops." "You're a liar!" Cindy said. "They may look like the same kind of hills, but they do not deliver the same quality of airtime. You wait and see! Number three.....bah!" We got in seat 1.2 and I had plenty of room to experience everything this coaster had to offer. By the time we got to the top of the second hill, I looked directly at Cindy and while floating above my seat shouted at the top of my lungs, "THIS IS SOOOOO NUMBER TWO!" Superman blows Millennium Force away. Even with all its imperfections, this coaster is every bit the champion it was when Darien Lake introduced the design. I was simply blown away by the memory of just how good this coaster really is. The trim on the final rabbit hop is inconsequential - if you're being thrown out of your seat as far as you can go how does that trim brake affect anyone? I cannot believe people made such a big deal over that! The airtime on the final hill is insane! As we were leaving Superman a little boy in front of us shouted "Batwing is open!" We quickly headed for the entrance and found that yes, the walkway was open and people were indeed filing into Batwing's queue. We spotted Sean, Chris, Jon, Scott and company about four rows ahead of us and figured that's the last we'd see of them today. With only one train operating on Batwing it would have been foolish of them to give up their place in line and join us. What looked like a relatively painless thirty minute wait turned into an excruciating hour and a half wait, thanks to a crew that was sending out the train once every eight minutes. After thirty minutes and four trains had cycled, all activity stopped. Eventually everyone in the station started sitting down and I knew we were in for a long delay. I saw Jon Smith next in line to ride the backseat and silently berated him for being such a backseat fanatic - he could have ridden it and been on his way had he not opted to wait in a longer line for the backseat, and for what? More airtime? Stronger forces? Jon! For the love of God! What were you thinking! Thank God we were given shade to wait under. I was told this was a fairly nice day, but again, coming from a climate where we had highs in the 60s until just last week, I was not used to this at all. Even under a canopy I was sweating profusely. Even my knees were sweating. This wait did me in. I melted. One thing I'd like to mention is how clean this park is and how well behaved the crowd was during the delay. People sat down in the queue or stood and talked with their friends, but I was shocked at how quiet and fairly reserved people were, a direct contrast to the crowd description I gave earlier. In spite of what I wrote about how loud and unhibited the people are in comparison to Minnesota (and the pervasive use of bad language), the crowd was not the rough sort I was expecting. Other than the "riot" to get to Batwing, everyone seemed well behaved and the park was very clean. This really made an impression on me. Of course the ride did eventually start back up and the ride itself is great. The public seems to love it - just watching the trainload of riders literally fly through the track inspires oohs and ahhs and, at Six Flags America, more than a few shits and motherfuckers. As we exited Batwing I felt nauseous. The wait really did me in. We ran into Greg at the exit along with Eric "WildOne" Stehmer and his friend. I felt terrible. I was really not feeling like myself and it was hard to be engrossed in conversation. At this point I really wanted to lay down but we decided to ride our final coaster at this park, Two Face. Fortunately at this point, we also came across "Fan: The Ride." That misting machine was the best thing ever placed in an amusement park. It was my favorite ride in the park!!! So cool and invigorating, I simply couldn't tear myself away from it! I could do Fan: The Ride all day! We stayed in front of it so long I was drenched! Two Face is a great ride, such a different experience from the typical boomerang. But I was bothered by a grease spill coming from something on the ride that ruined my new Coaster Con golf shirt that Chris Murray had *just* given me the night before! And after some thought I realized the last Invertigo I rode I experienced the same thing and another ruined shirt! Has anyone else encountered this problem? Oh dear, I am not doing well at all. This park is too hot. I decided it would be a good idea to ride Wild One since one, I loved the coaster and two, the queue is entirely covered. This coaster is just awesome! I really do love it! We also saw Jason Pytka in the queue, who had come down from Coaster Con as well. We had plenty of opportunities to ride in the backseat, but after hearing numerous accounts about the backseat being neutered after the reprofiling, it seemed stupid to move from a seat that was giving me a truly wonderful ride! I rode Wild One approximately 6 or 7 times, all from the front three seats. Finally I could take no more. The heat had overcome me. I told everyone I had to take a break and stood in the shade behind Wild One's station. I don't know how long I stood there but I know I was not thinking clearly and felt like I was about to pass out. I stood around for a long time and finally sat down under an umbrella covered table. I felt bad but there was nothing I could do. Somebody mentioned heatstroke and that I should get something to drink. I really do not like this trend toward shadeless comic book themed areas. Gotham City, DC Comics Superheroes, Marvel Comic Superheroes and Paramount's Action Zone all share one thing in common: they are concrete pancake cookers without any shade at all. It's obviously cheap to build and you don't have to add any landscaping. Well, I hate it and it's causing me quite a bit of discomfort. I recovered enough to tell Eric and everyone we were up for one more ride on Superman and then it was time to go. Superman solidified it's place as number two on my top ten steel, and the crowd solidified my aversion to loud people. Oh my GOD! SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUP! With that it was time to go. We said our goodbyes and left the park, where I immediately fell asleep in Cindy's car while she drove us back to Hersheypark for nighttime ERT. Six Flags America really is a very nice park. There are only three problems with it - the crowd, slow ride operations, and lack of shade. If you picked this park up and set it down in any other city, you'd have a great park. The crowd would be good, the ride operators would be different and therefore more motivated, and the one and only drawback would be lack of shade. You can clearly see where saplings have been planted, and in ten years I have no doubt the park will have some shady areas. The rap on Six Flags America isn't deserved. It isn't the park's fault they are were they are. They have to make the best with what they have, and in that regard I think they've succeeded. The park impressed me on a number of levels. And I think it makes a wonderful extended weekend combo with Busch Gardens and Kings Dominion. However, there is no way I would visit this park again during the summer months. It is just too hot. I'll come back again in the fall or spring. And I'll look forward to it. Photo courtesy of RideZone We arrived back at Hersheypark just in time for ERT. And this one was a doozy. Two full hours on Lightning Racer, Wildcat and Mad Mouse. Cindy and I started ERT by riding the mouse with Marlon Scott. Then we moved to the Wildcat and rode with Mike Thompson, who reiterated that this coaster is his number one wood. Cindy, too, was very impressed and began to reevaluate Wildcat's standing in her ratings. We ended the night on Lightning Racer. This was one of the best ERT sessions I have experienced. I rode with a bunch of different people and ended the night getting multiple rides with Jon Smith, one of the nicest, most admirable straight arrows I have met through RRC. And yet it all ended too quickly. These ERT sessions have seemed like the quickest ever. They are over before you know it! The session lasted two hours and it went by in a flash! I think part of it was the nature of Lightning Racer. It is an interactive coaster in that you're truly dueling with another train, and therefore you really don't spend a lot of time looking at your watch, you're just trying to beat the losers on the other side. I got a kick out of riding behind Barry Short. At every opportunity he would taunt the riders on the opposing train. At one point Jon suggested we ride with our eyes closed. OHHHH MY GOD!!!! This was such a great sensation! Normally you get so caught up in the racing aspect you don't always notice the forces on the ride, but with my eyes closed I felt things on that coaster I'd never felt before! We also got a ride with Mike Robinson and convinced him to do the same. He convinced me (and Jon) to ride looking over our shoulders in order to verify that he kept his eyes closed. I haven't done this particular style of riding since I broke my ribs while riding Raven, but Jon assured me if there was one coaster where I could safely do it, this was it. So I did, watching Mike the entire time. It was very cool seeing him go through the same freaky sensations we experienced just moments earlier! This day was certainly trying, weather-wise. Still I had a wonderful time. Coaster Con has turned out to be one of the easiest trips I've ever taken. None of our side trips has been more than two hours, and because the morning ERTs haven't been enticing I've been able to sleep in and feel fairly refreshed. Well, until the heat hits.