Weekly World MonsterVision ... Week of January 25, 1999
Super Bowl Saturday
Listen up all you non-football fans. Joe Bob is taking a break from
MonsterVision this Saturday in order to host a special event on TNT. He's
going to Miami for the Super Bowl where he'll not only demonstrate the art
of watching football on television but he'll be co-hosting some all-time
great football films with Kevin Greene of the Carolina Panthers and former
football pro and black action star Fred Williamson. Check out the special
Saturday evening schedule below and watch in horror as Joe Bob tries to
steal the show from Fred "Hammer" Williamson.
Here is the evening
lineup:
M*A*S*H*
Back before the warm and
cuddly sitcom there was the darkly satirical film, as hilarious as it was
shocking. M*A*S*H jettisoned the sombre seriousness that's
burdened war films from Griffith to Spielberg, using scalpel wit and a
conviction that this is one subject too deadly serious to be left to the
preachers. M*A*S*H was almost a quite different film, one
without the special touch of director Robert Altman. The studios weren't
exactly fond of Altman's idiosyncratic techniques so he was nowhere in
anybody's mind when Altman's agent showed him the script. Altman
recognized the great possibilities and finagled the directing assignment.
M*A*S*H went on to five Oscar nominations (winning
for Best Adapted Screenplay), five Golden Globe nominations (three wins),
the Golden Palm at the prestigious Cannes Film Festival and selection by
the AFI as one of the 100 Best American Films. The film stars Donald
Sutherland of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Elliott Gould of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Tom Skerritt of Devil's Rain, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall,
Jo Ann Pflug, Fred Williamson, Rene Auberjonois, and later Bates Motel owner Bud Cort.
*
Hosted by Fred Williamson and Joe Bob Briggs
M*A*S*H* (1970)
Saturday, January 30 at 8:00
pm ET/PT
Rating: TV-14-DLS.
THE LONGEST YARD
Sometimes the
Hollywood mad scientists will cross two entirely different types of movies
just to see what'll happen. Like, say, sports drama and the prison film.
Result? The Longest Yard, proof that Burt Reynolds could be
a fine actor years before his Oscar nomination. (Though to be fair, he got
a Golden Globe nomination for The Longest Yard.)
In
the movie, Reynolds plays a former football pro who ends up in jail after
stealing a car. The warden sees a chance to fiddle with an upcoming
inmate-guard game, convincing Reynolds to throw the game. If he stays
convinced, that is. To get the right atmosphere, The Longest
Yard was filmed at the Georgia State Prison. Adding to the
authenticity are several real-life football players like Joe Kapp (former
Vikings quarterback), Ernie Wheelwright (Falcons), Ray Nitschke (Packers),
Pervis Atkins (Redskins) and Sonny Sixkiller, a collegiate legend and 1971
Sports Illustrated cover. (And keep an eye open for a very rare
appearance by singer George Jones as "Big George.")
Director Robert
Aldrich was a master of films about tough men in unwinnable situations. He
made Kiss Me Deadly, which may be the greatest film of the 1950s,
but his other work on Attack and The Big Knife is almost as
memorable. Aldrich had real talent to work with in Reynolds, who had been
a halfback while in college. Reynolds worked in a few TV series (most
notably Gunsmoke) before moving to big-screen Westerns and
thrillers, even appearing in films by Sam Fuller and Woody Allen.
Reynolds' stark, powerful performance in Deliverance proved to be a
breakthrough, both commercially and critically.
Such effort didn't
go unnoticed. The intricate football game in The Longest
Yard earned the film an Oscar nomination for Best Editing and in
fact the film actually won a Golden Globe as Best Musical or Comedy.
* Hosted by Fred Williamson and Joe Bob Briggs
The Longest Yard
(1974)
Saturday, January 30 at 10:35 pm ET/PT
Rating:
TV-14-LV.
TWO MINUTE WARNING
Imagine you are
at the football stadium watching your favorite team in action and in the
middle of an exciting play, a sniper, perched high above the grandstand,
starts firing bullets into the crowd. That's the premise of this
psychological thriller which came out the same year as Black
Sunday, the John Frankenheimer film in which terrorists attempted to
explode a shrapnel bomb over Super Bowl fans in Miami. The surprise twist
in Two Minute Warning is that the sniper is not a psychopath
but a professional gunman hired to create mass hysteria at the game. Now
who would go and do a thing like that?
Would you believe a gang of
international art thieves? We know it sounds crazy but there's a method to
their madness. The cast of Two Minute Warning includes the usual
suspects from similar disaster-type flicks like Airport and
Earthquake. Charlton Heston plays the police captain, Martin Balsam
is one of Chuck's law enforcement buddies, John Cassavetes heads up the
swat team, and Jack Klugman plays a compulsive gambler in trouble with the
mob. We also have Gena Rowlands and David Janssen as bickering lovers,
Beau Bridges and Marilyn Hassett as innocent bystanders, Joanna Pettet as
an unscrupulous art dealer, and Brock Peters as an unlucky security guard.
Look for cameos by Howard Cosell, Frank Gifford, and Merv Griffin who
sings the National Anthem!
* Hosted by Fred Williamson and Joe
Bob Briggs
Two Minute Warning
(1976)
Saturday, January 30 at 1:15 am ET/PT
*
Technically, this is really Sunday morning.
Rating:
TV-14-LV.
If you want to see the entire schedule of the PEPCID
AD SUPER BOWL WEEKEND WITH HOST JOE BOB BRIGGS, then visit our special
information page at http://tnt.turner.com/specials/superbowl (if it's still there)
Saturday, January 30, 1999
MonsterVision will be pre-empted by a special SuperBowl Weekend movie lineup with special hosted segments featuring Joe Bob Briggs. The films include North Dallas Forty, The Longest Yard, The Dirty Dozen, M.A.S.H., & Two Minute Warning.
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Saturday, February 6
Feature: Phantasm 2 (1988) at 10:30 p.m.
If you liked the original Phantasm, then you'll love this sequel because it has three flying silver spheres of death instead of just one. And yes, they are just as pesky as ever, burrowing into people's backs and emerging from their mouths. The Tall Man (Angus Scrimm) is also back and he has an insidious new m.o. - stealing the souls of the dead.
Rating: TV-14-LSV.
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Joe Bob's Last Call
The Fury (1978) at 1:20 a.m.
If you like to watch exploding bodies and people bleeding through every pore in their body, then look no further than this Brian De Palma thriller which stars Andrew Stevens as an innocent pawn in a top secret experiment. Like Carrie, De Palma's previous film, The Fury continues the director's fascination with telekinesis and features two major character who possess this unique talent; one benign, the other monstrous. The cast also includes Amy Irving, Kirk Douglas, John Cassavetes, and Fiona Lewis who gets transformed into a spinning top.
Rating: TV-14-V.
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100% Weird
Change of Habit (1969) at 3:45 a.m.
Would you believe Elvis as the hip doctor of a free clinic in a Puerto Rican neighborhood, assisted by three plain-clothed nuns led by Mary Tyler Moore? (this was made one year before her incredibly successful series, The Mary Tyler Moore Show.) Many Elvis fans consider this his worst film so that means required viewing for all. The final scene where Ms. Moore tries to decide between God and Elvis is weirdly edited with cut-ins of Jesus and anticipates Madonna's "Like a Prayer" music video. The sparse music score includes "Rubberneckin'" and "Have a Happy." The supporting cast includes Barbara McNair, Edward Asner, Regis Toomey as a priest, sci-fi veteran Richard Carlson (The Creature From the Black Lagoon) as a bishop, and singer Darlene Love in a cameo performing with The Blossoms.
Rating: TV-PG.
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Saturday, February 13
Feature
House IV: Home Deadly Home (1991) at 11:30 p.m.
When mystery writer Roger Cobb (William Katt) is killed in a car wreck, his spirit becomes trapped in an isolated mansion built over a sacred Indian spring. It's up to his wife (Terri Treas) and crippled daughter (Melissa Clayton) to save his soul and prevent the property from falling into the wrong hands. In this case, it's an evil dwarf who runs a toxic waste plant. If you think this sounds confusing, you ain't seen nothing yet!
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Joe Bob's
Last Call
The Hidden 2: The Spawning (1993) at 2 a.m.
The hide-and-seek game on Planet Earth between bad alien and good alien continues in this quickie sequel to The Hidden, the popular 1987 sci-fi thriller starring Kyle MacLachlan & Michael Nouri. Unfortunately, the original leads did not return but we do have a new plot twist in which the benevolent alien (Raphael Sbarge) falls in love with the daughter (Kate Hodge) of his former partner and learns how to brush his teeth.
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100% Weird
Black Belt Jones (1974) at 4:15 a.m.
After the unexpected success of Enter the Dragon, producers Fred Weintraub and Paul Heller contracted black belt champion Jim Kelly for another martial arts thriller to cash in on the current craze. (Bruce Lee had recently died and Kelly was the logical replacement). The result is a blaxploitation/Kung Fu hybrid that pits Kelly, a martial arts instructor in Watts, against the Mafia. Don't miss the climatic battle set in a car wash and look for Gloria Hendry and Scatman Crothers in supporting roles.
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Saturday, February 20
Feature: The Howling III (1987) at 10 p.m.
We're at a complete loss when it comes to describing this hairy film from Down Under. It doesn't bear any resemblence to the original film that spawned it but it does focus on a commune of marsupial lycanthropes and a lot of other things like shape-shifting nuns, werewolf ballerinas, an Alfred Hitchcock lookalike, and an outcast wolf girl who lands a part in a horror film.
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Joe Bob's
Last Call
The Howling: New Moon Rising (1994) at 12:15 a.m.
Number seven in the incredible "Howling" series, this entry is set in the backwoods hamlet of Pioneertown, California where the locals amuse themselves at the local saloon, pickin' and a-grinnin' to country-western standards like "Keep the Wolf Away from the Door." In between songs, a baffled cop (John Ramsen) tries to solve a series of grisly throat-rippings and his main suspect is a stranger from Australia.
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100% Weird
The Bride With White Hair (1993) at 2:30 a.m.
If you've never seen a Hong Kong fantasy film, this is the place to start. Lian, a beautiful witch girl raised by wolves in the Wu Dang mountains, saves a young warrior named Zhuo from a wild animal attack. He later returns the favor when she is tortured and left for dead for defying the orders of the evil Ji Wu-Shuang, a half-male, half-female mutant. Together Lian and Zhuo battle the forces of black magic in this rock 'em, sock 'em fantasy directed by Ronnie Yu (Bride of Chucky).
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The Bride With White Hair 2 (1993) at 4:30 a.m.
After the tragic conclusion of The Bride With White Hair, this sequel finds Lian transformed into a vengeful white-haired witch bent on destroying the eight martial arts clans from which her former lover, Zhuo, had come. As Lian prepares for combat with her army of female warriors, Zhuo seeks a mystical flower that can restore his lover's former beauty.
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Saturday, February 27
Feature: Ghoulies (1985) at 10:30 p.m.
Wanna see a bunch of midgets in weird makeup play hide and seek with some bad actors in a creepy old mansion? Because that's what you're gonna get in this blatant rip-off of Gremlins. For the record though, Ghoulies are a whole lot nastier than Gremlins. They have sharper teeth, worse complexions, and they drool a lot. Plus they're in league with the Devil. It's hard to top that.
Rating: TV-14.
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Joe Bob's
Last Call
Ghoulies II (1988) at 12:35 a.m.
So you thought all those nasty little imps died in the explosive climax to Ghoulies? Actually, four of them escaped to a carnival and became part of a traveling spook show called "Stan's Den." Now they have big fun killing selected patrons and hiding their bodies in the props. Yes, it's another sterling Charles Band production and he managed to trick veteran character actor Royal Dano into co-starring with a bunch of rubber-headed hand puppets.
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100% Weird
Tai Chi II (1996) at 2:50 a.m.
English merchants are bombarding China with lethal opium, resulting in untold addictions and death. To combat this a renowned Tai Chi master comes out of seclusion to battle kung fu assassins hired by the English merchants. Along the way he also competes for the hand of a beautiful revolutionary. Jacky Wu and Christy Chung star in this period thriller directed by Yuen Woo Ping.
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Saturday, March 6
Feature: The Road Warrior (1981) at Midnight
Set in a bleak, post-industrial future where barbarian clans on motorbikes reign supreme, The Road Warrior is the superior sequel to Mad Max and catapulted Mel Gibson to international stardom as the fearless desert mercenary. Spectacular chase sequences and death-defying stunts highlight this Australian import directed by George Miller.
Rating: TV-14-V.
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Joe Bob's
Last Call
2020 Texas Gladiators (1982) at 2:20 a.m.
Just how many Mad Max rip-offs were made in Italy? Apparently about thirty of them and MonsterVision is determined to show them all. Here's yet another post-nuclear western and it's all about neo-Nazi biker gangs under the leadership of the Black One, an evil madman bent on enslaving the last remaining survivors on Earth. Al Cliver, Peter Hooten, and Sabrina Siani star in this spaghetti sci-fi epic directed by Joe D'Amato and George Eastman hiding behind a fake American name - Kevin Mancusco.
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100% Weird
The Seventh Sign (1988) at 5 a.m.
What if the fate of mankind depended on Demi Moore? Well, it does in this apocalyptic thriller and she proves more than willing to shoulder the burden. It all begins when she rents a room in her garage to Jurgen Prochnow who is not what he appears to be. As Demi begins to question the identity of her mysterious lodger, she finds herself being drawn into a nightmarish scenario in which she is plagued by strange religious visions and freak acts of nature.
Rating: TV-14.
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Saturday, March 13
Feature: The Guyver (1991) at 10pm
At long last, we are finally able to program one of our most requested titles at MonsterVision. Jack 'Wildman' Armstrong plays a clean-cut college student who is transformed into an armor-plated superhero via a strange device. His adversary is a mad scientist (David Gale) who sends his evil minions to capture the mysterious object known as 'the guyver.' It's an imaginative hybrid of martial arts, horror and science fiction and is based on a popular Japanese comic by Yoshiki Takaya. Where else can you see Mark Hamill mutate into a cockroach monster or hear Jimmy "Dyn-o-miiiite" Walker rapping?
Rating: TV-14-V
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Joe Bob's
Last Call
Time Runner (1992) at 12:20 a.m.
Mark Hamill gets sucked into a cosmic wormhole and is transported back to Earth in the year 1992. This gives him a chance to change the course of history and prevent America from becoming a police state by the year 2022. The cast includes Brion James as the evil future President and Rae Dawn Chong as a scientist with ever-changing loyalties.
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100% Weird
Trog (1970) at 2:40 am
Joan Crawford as an anthropologist? Yes, and what a stern taskmistress she is. Watch her subject an innocent troglodyte to rock 'n roll music and table manners. The special effects department obviously were confused about which direction to take on the title creature: He has the body of a caveman and the head of a monkey. But no matter. Joan, in her final film, is the main attraction. Listen to her passionate delivery of lines like "I implore you to let me use my hypo-gun!"
Rating: TV-PG.
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100% Weird
Featurette
Bigfoot: Man or Beast (1975) at 4:40 a.m.
The mythical beast of rural America rears her hairy butt and pendulous breasts in this seldom-seen documentary (for reasons which are self-evident). It also includes footage from the infamous home movie made by Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlin which is almost as well known as the Zapruder JFK assassination footage.
Rating: TV-G
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Saturday, March 20
Feature: The Deliberate Stranger (1986) at 11:30 pm
Viewers keep complaining that we don't show enough monster flicks but we've got the genuine article right here - a real-life fiend named Ted Bundy, one of the most diabolical serial killers of all time. Mark Harmon stars as the charismatic law school student suspected of murdering more than 25 women in over six states. Based on the non-fiction bestseller by Richard W. Larsen.
Rating: TV-14-V
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100% Weird
Featurette
Rodan (1958) at 4 a.m.
Japanese coal miners run for cover when they unearth a giant pterodactyl that begins wrecking havoc above Tokyo, obliterating jets and buildings just by flapping its wings. One of the cornerstones in Japanese monster cinema directed by Inoshiro Honda and starring Kenji Sawara and Yumi Shirakawa.
Rating: TV-PG.
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Saturday, March 27
Feature: Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977) at 10pm
Patrick Wayne has a full time job battling the creations of Ray Harryhausen in this Arabian Nights fantasy which pits our hero against ax-swinging jinnis, a giant walrus, a troglodyte, and a metal giant called Minaton. Taryn Power (daughter of Tyrone) is the damsel-in-distress and Margaret Whiting plays Zenobia, the evil sorcessess responsible for all the trouble.
Rating: TV-PG
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Joe Bob's
Last Call
Clash of the Titans (1981) at 12:45 a.m.
High atop Mount Olympus, the Gods toy with the fates of mere mortals down below. Harry Hamlin, in his first starring role, plays Perseus, the son of Zeus and the sword-welding hero. Before he can be united with the fair princess Andromeda (Judi Bowker), he must prove himself in battle with such formidable creatures as the Medusa, the Kraken (a scaly monster from the deep sea), and Calibos, the Lord of the Marsh. The last in a long line of unique stop-motion fantasy features by Ray Harryhausen. Laurence Olivier, Claire Bloom, Ursula Andress, Burgess Meredith, and Maggie Smith are just a few of the toga-clad superstars featured in the cast.
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100% Weird
The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964) at 3:35 a.m.
It's a musical. No, it's a cartoon. No, it's a World War II adventure tale. Actually, it's all these things and more. Don Knotts plays a timid bookkeeper who harbors a secret desire to live underwater...and gets his wish. Ever seen a dolphin wearing wire-rim glasses? You will in this oddball fantasy about the Navy's secret weapon. You'll also get to hear Mr. Knotts sing "I Wish I Were a Fish."
Rating: TV-G
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Watch for these great titles on MonsterVision in the upcoming months:
Funhouse
Poltergeist
Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan
Two classic episodes from the classic sci-fi series, The Outer Limits
By the way, don't use the word "blaxploitation" around Fred. He says they don't call James Bond "white exploitation" so don't be callin' Shaft or Superfly "black exploitation"
