No, this is not the sequel to something called “Saturn 2.” It’s a talky, flashy outer space opus in search of a plot. Kirk Douglas is married to Farrah Fawcett, stuck in space together, but Harvey Keitel is lusting after Farrah and builds a nasty robot whose mind includes some of his own brain cells, so now the robot wants to capture Farrah and have sex with her. That’s right, it’s Valentine’s Day 1997, and time for a love story on MonsterVision! Read on as Joe Bob explains the subtle points of Harvey Keitel, and how this is really just a remake of Donovan's Brain. Here’s Joe Bob Briggs:
“It’s the sensitive story of a sex-crazed drug-head space pirate who has to steal Farrah Fawcett away from Kirk Douglas by landing on their planet and programming a cyborg to take over their brains and smash Kirk to smithereens and make her wanna have sex with him. It’s got some pretty decent effects. This is Harvey Keitel’s early sleazeball period and, it’s got Kirk! I’m a major Kirk Douglas fan, and he’s great as usual. OK, drive-in totals:
3 dead bodies
1 dead gooey dog
Man sucked into space
Cyborg brain surgery
Gas space hosing
Freeze-dried robot
Brain implant
Exploding cyborg
A whole lotta scenes with Farrah Fawcett in short shorts and tericloth robes
Tongue fu
Robot fu
I’m gonna be generous and give it 2 stars. It’s not one of the strangest movies we’ve ever had but check it out. And then our second feature tonight will be the great Chained Heat 2. Women in cages. The perfect theme for this special Valentine’s Day edition of MonsterVision.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, Farrah Fawcett has a scary hairdo.”
“You know what this is? Donovan’s Brain with better special effects. “Donovan’s Brain” with Farrah Fawcett in the Nancy Reagan role.”
By the way, Kirk Douglas also stars in “The Fury,” a more recent MonsterVision flick for which there are complete host segments. It was Brian DePalma’s next movie after Carrie.
