Texas Chainsaw Massacre (A Lesson)

Tobe was living in Austin, Texas, but he really didn't care where the movie was located. They only made it Texas when somebody come up with the title, which, you've got to admit, is one of the all-time greatest titles in the history of the universe.

It was shot in Round Rock, Texas, for about 40 cents.

The Empire Theatre, San Francisco, fall of '74. They sneaked it on the back end of a Walter Matthau picture, and the audience barfed, stormed the lobby, demanded their money back and started throwin' punches. A legend was born.

Naw, not really. "Deep Throat" has been sued a lot more times. But the difference with "Saw" is that it's the first R-rated flick ever to get over 20 continuous years of flack.

When the National Organization of Bimbos or the Babtist Church wants to get on my case, they always say, "This guy is so sick he LIKES movies like 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."'

They use it like some kind of putdown, like they never saw it. (Or maybe I should say they never got sawed by it.)

Gunnar Hansen, the actor who played Leatherface, moved up to Maine to write poetry and build rock houses. I'm not makin' this up. While he has popped up on screen occasionally (he made a brief appearance in the anthology film "Campfire Tales," for example), he never reprised his Leatherface role.

Sort of. Tobe Hooper was just a boy from Austin who liked movies, and "Saw" was his first crack at making them.

After that he made "Eaten Alive," also known as "Horror Hotel Massacre," where Neville Brand runs a little swamp motel where he feeds overnight guests to the alligators.

Then Tobe made "Salem's Lot" for TV, and that was pretty decent. Then Spielberg let him make Poltergeist, but nobody could figure out whether Tobe was doing it or the Spielman.

And then Tobe got back on track Lifeforce about nekkid outer-space bloodsuckers.

Other post-"Saw" Hooper flicks include The Funhouse, "Spontaneous Combustion," "I'm Dangerous Tonight," Invaders From Mars and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre II."

Marilyn Burns, "The Screamer," is truly acknowledged to be the finest motion-picture screamer known to mankind - far better than Jamie Lee Curtis and other imitators. But it might be because she had so much to scream about.

When they were makin' this picture it was 110 degrees inside the Cannibal House, and all the meat on the table was dead rotting animals filled with formaldehyde.

Considering the smell, plus all the sticky blood they poured on Marilyn, plus the fact that she got dragged around through the underbrush for a couple weeks and busted up both knees, you've got to figure those were real screams.

Nobody knows exactly, but it's estimated to have made at least $100 million at the box office.

Nope. No way, Jose. You take somebody to see "Saw" who hasn't ever seen it before, and you'll know what I mean when I say: "'Saw' is still the king."

You can write to Joe Bob Briggs, at P.O. Box 2002, Dallas, Texas 75221. You can also fax him at (213) 462-5982 or e-mail him at 76702.1435@compuserve.com [this email may be out of date. Visit his current website below].

© 1996 Joe Bob Briggs All Rights Reserved

For more of Joe Bob's pre-TNT reviews in Grapevine, Texas, go to his Drive-In Reviews Archive over yonder at www.Joe Bob Briggs.com

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" movies are available on video and on DVD from Amazon.com

According to Ripley's Believe It Or Not, the Lyrebird of Australia mimics the sound of other birds, dogs barking, and even revving chainsaws!