(side note: please bear in mind that Sir Weeze was 17 when he wrote most of this crap, so that will explain most of it)
Quick and Painless
Good Wholesome Molestation
Bi-Polar
Orgasm
Death Lies Dead in the Dead Blood of the Dead
Contra
Mike Kollers
Rudy T. Dog
Woodbury, MN
Run For Your Life (Grunge, Part 2)
Enjoying My Current State of Existence
Spy Hunter
I Don't Know
Fat Guy Outta Control
Warhorse
Athiest Woman
This Song Will Really Annoy the Living Hell Out of You
I Love You
Quick and Painless
Good Wholesome Molestation
It's good... wholesome molestation
Bi-polar
Leave me alone, because I'm really sad
Orgasm
No lyrics
Death Lies Dead in the Dead Blood of the Dead
I take a knife and cut off my scrotum
Contra
You are playing Contra
Mike Kollers
Mike Kollers
Rudy T. Dog
No lyrics
Woodbury, MN
Trying too hard
Run For Your Life (Grunge Part 2)
Pain and angst
Enjoying My Current State of Existence
Gothic love on my cold heart buried in a grave
Spy Hunter
Spy Hunter
I Don’t Know
I can't remember what I said before
Fat Guy Outta Control
Fat Guy
Warhorse
Warhorse
Atheist Woman
Every woman orgasms at the thought of me
No lyrics
It's good... wholesome molestation
I've got this sudden urge
to put my hand on this little boy's ass
cuz I'm just a pastor from this Catholic church but
(side note: yes, i know, that's a blatant mistake)
I like to rape little boys
Yes, I seem to have a disorder
But it's alright because it's good... wholesome molestation
it's good for me and it's good for you
god I love the feeling of my dick in some boy's ass
Yes I love that feeling in a little boy's ass
Yes I know I've sinned, many a time
because I've seemed to have lost my control
over my dick, it's reached a foot in diameter
that's my problem, that's my problem
but it seems to be ok, god has forgiven me, all is well with the world
Leave me alone, because I'm really gloomy
Blood covers my legs
She takes my testicles, and puts them in her mouth
and she swishes and swishes and swishes and swishes
them around and around and around and around and around
a fairyland of happy bears, frolicing through the forest
I love life, and I love myself
as she bites into my bloody sac
devours my testicles down her throat
I take an ice pick and slam it into her cunt
blood pours and pours and pours and pours
(nonsensical generic death metal growling)
lets hold hands, lets rub noses
lets play Twister, lets be friends
lets have fun, lets be happy
lets be... but I'm losing gallons of blood
railroad spike up your ass
I smash your reproductive organs with a sledgehammer
and it splatters and splatters and splatters
happy, really happy, fun and joy and fun
make a tree house
(more generic death metal growling and gagging)
You are playing Contra
You are playing Contra
You are playing Contra
Get the powerups
Get the powerups
Look out for the spread gun
Don't get the laser cuz it sucks
But you got 30 guys because of the cool Nintendo code
But watch out for the bad guys because they really sucaahhuhhh
But Contra's old school Nintendo
andireallyscrewedupontheguitarparttherebutthatsokbecauseits Contra
You are playing Contra
You are playing Contra
You are playing Contra
Ah.
Hey!
Ugh!
Guffaw!
Brought to you by Sir Weeze
He's friends with Rick Marsh
He's friends with Chris Brown
He sucks
Rod up your ass
Just give it up
You're a phony
Put down your cell phone
Get out of your new car
Throw away that blond hair dye
Get out of that tanning bed
Now save your allowance
and buy a fucking clue
Cookie cutter
society
Just stop pretending
That you're friends with me
Turn off your pager
Step out of your SV
Throw away the eyeliner
Get that dick out of your mouth
Now save your allowance
and buy a fucking clue
Angst and pain
Angst and pain
Pain and angst
I'm angry
I'm really really angry
cuz I'm angry
really angry
angry
cuz I'm angry
really really angry
angry
I'm really angry
ang
gry
ang
gry
gry
ang
gry
ang
I'm angry
cuz I'm really really angry
and I'm not afraid to tell you
oh no, it doesn't matter if you care or not
cuz I'm gonna whine about it anyway
listen to my stupid guitar effects
we're a rehash of old bands
like Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains and Soundgarden and Nirvana
You name it
We're doing it
and its been done before
cuz I'm angry
but I'm really really angry
and I get to whine about my childhood
I'm really pissed off
wahhh wahhhh
Love on my grave buried in cold gothic heart
Cold grave on my gothic love in a buried heart
Heart on my buried love with my gothic grave
Grave love for my gothic cold heart, buried
Gothic grave in the cold buried heart
Buried cold grave in your gothic heart
Tra la la!
Spy Hunter
It's the Spy Hunter, yeah
You're gonna crash crash crash crash crash crash crash
Spy Hunter
It's impossible to beat
Because you try and get in that red van and you always hit the sides
and when you actually get in the van you get a crappy weapon
but the game is still fun fun fun fun fun fun fun anyway
Please don't torture me anymore
Clean my ears with a piece of cloth
Ben's gone nuts and he has a pet moth
Find the will I can't explain
It's the great great Groundhog's day
Step to the left and you'll hurt yourself
Step in the fire and you'll burn yourself
Fat guy outta control
Look at the fat guy roll
I'm gonna smoke a bowl
cuz I'm on a roll
like the fat guy outta control
I'll go bowl
just cuz I like to droll
I can't think of anything else that rhymes with roll
he's the fat guy
he's out of control
just look at those arms a flailing
legs akimbo
the very epitome of losing control of your extremeties
but he's.. just.. a fat guy.. out of.. control..
fat guy
fat guy outta control
In the South St. Paul library
On the book cover
Warhorse
Warhorse
I can make a woman cum just from taking a shit
Those grunts will sound like heaven to those tiny ears
I could wipe my ass and rub it in their face
and they'd love it
and they'd fuck it.. oooh..
and they'd cream all over me
rabid roadrunner
running rapidly
rhinoceros ramming
an author writing
drinking rum
rambling vampyre
I'll split you in half, with my ten inch dick
I look like Christ
I look like Jesus
just thought I'd tell you
just thought I'd let you know
that I look like Jesus Christ
I'm gonna die
and so are you
they're all dead, my pets are dead, and dead
pain is hard to deal with
especially when so many women when they see me
have an orgasm
I want to die, yes I do
I want to die, in my shoe
I want to die, in Elmer's glue
I want to die, with Motley Crue
I want to die, yes I do
I want do die, and its so true