(the author of this article is divorced)
First of all, let me say that I am very sorry. Divorce is always hard. You must allow yourself to grieve. Grieve for what could have been, for what should have been. All of your dreams, ambitions, and hopes for the future have gone up in smoke. It is right to grieve for these things. This is the first step towards healing.
Then you must repent. Yes, repent and ask God to forgive you. “You are crazy,” you say. “I am not the one who messed up,” you say. So what? Repent anyway. I am not trying to be harsh here, and I am thinking only of you, when I say you must repent. Do it for yourself. It is probably true that your spouse was a louse, and that you are glad to be rid of them. You still must repent and ask God’s forgiveness for your part in the divorce. You must, if you want to be healed. You must be healed from the hurts that you and your spouse caused each other. For that to happen you must repent and ask God’s forgiveness.
Then you must forgive your ex-spouse. Forgiveness here is crucial for you own healing. If you harbor unforgiveness you will never be healed and will become an embittered old hag. Now, you don’t want that do you? None of this really has anything to do with your ex-spouse, we are talking about your healing here, and this is what you must do. You don’t have to ever set eyes on your ex-spouse again, in order to forgive them. But you must forgive them from your heart.
I wish I could say to you, better luck next time, but I can’t. I have not been able to find any scripture in the Bible allowing for remarriage after a divorce, I am sorry. Jesus says that it would be adultery.
Mark 10:2-12
2: And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3: And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4: And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5: And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6: But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8: And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10: And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11: And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12: And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.In my mind that settles it. I cannot go against Jesus, the saviour of my soul, my King and my God. If it were Paul or another of the disciples, or a prophet in the Old Testament (I am sorry, the Tanakh) then maybe, just maybe, I would be able to get around it, somehow. But these are Jesus’ own words.
I know that it will be hard and lonely to stay single, se la vie. From my experience life is just hard anyway.
For some it was harder when they were married, and to be single seems like a vacation. But for some it will be extremely hard to remain single. I do not condemn these people if they should remarry. It is not my place to condemn anyone, anyway.If you are already remarried, after a divorce, I don’t think you should get another divorce. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You and your husband should repent and ask God to forgive you. And then, ask Him to bless your current marriage, if He can. We can’t put God in a box; He can do what He wants. And we must do what He wants us to, if we expect to be part of His Kingdom. Ask Him what He wants you to do.
Read my other article on Divorce.
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