Look what I found for y'all to browse through !
~ UNCLE JED'S ~
REDNECK PONDERIN'S
ABOUT OLD HIGHWAY
ROAD SIGNS
YUP, A YOUNG FELLER HAS GOT TO HAVE A GOOD MEMORY
CAUSE WHEN YER OLD IT'LL SLIP PLUM AWAY FROM YA
,- - - I SURE DID ~ PASTOR BILL ~ GOD BLESS Y'ALL
| The blackened forest Smoulders yet Because He flipped A cigarette Burma-Shave |
Slow down, Pa Sakes alive Ma missed signs Four And five Burma-Shave |
Grandpa knows It ain't too late He's gone To git Some widder bait Burma-Shave |
| Free--free A trip To Mars For 900 Empty jars Burma-Shave |
A Christmas hug A birthday kiss Awaits The woman Who gives this Burma-Shave |
The big blue tube's Just like Louise You get A thrill From every squeeze Burma-Shave |
| The monkey took One look at Jim And threw the peanuts Back at him He needed Burma-Shave |
Substitutes Can let you down Quicker Than a Strapless gown Burma-Shave |
For shaving comfort Without A sting That big blue tube Has everything Burma-Shave |
| 6 million housewives Can't be wrong Who keep Their husbands Right along in Burma-Shave |
Jar so big Cost so small Coolest Smoothest Shave of all Burma-Shave |
Try a tube Its cooling Power Refreshes like An April shower Burma-Shave |
| One shave lasts All day through Face feels Cool and Smoother too Burma-Shave |
Within this vale Of toil And sin Your head grows bald But not your chin Burma-Shave |
Take Your Time Not Your life Burma-Shave |
| Cattle crossing Means go slow That old bull Is some Cow's beau Burma-Shave |
Does your husband Misbehave Grunt and grumble Rant and rave? Shoot the brute some Burma-Shave |
The draftee Tried a tube And purred Well whaddya know I've been defurred Burma-Shave |
| Tho stiff The beard That Nature gave It shaves Like down with Burma-Shave |
His crop of Whiskers Needed reaping That's what kept His Lena leaping Burma-Shave |
This cooling shave Will never fail To stamp Its user First class male Burma-Shave |
| Drinking drivers-- Nothing worse They put The quart Before the hearse Burma-Shave |
Said farmer Brown Who's bald On top Wish I could Rotate the crop Burma-Shave |
Men With whiskers 'Neath their noses Oughta have to kiss Like eskimoses Burma-Shave |
| Don't Try passing On a slope Unless you have A periscope Burma-Shave |
Passing cars When you can't see May get you A glimpse Of eternity Burma-Shave |
Don't leave safety To mere chance That's why Belts are Sold with pants Burma-Shave |
| At a quiz Pa ain't No whiz But he knows how To keep Ma his Burma-Shave |
Many a forest Used to stand Where a Lighted match Got out of hand Burma-Shave |
Baby your skin Keep it fitter Or "baby" Will get Another sitter Burma-Shave |
| Use this cream A day Or two Then don't call her-- She'll call you Burma-Shave |
If daisies Are your Favorite flower Keep pushin' up those Miles-per-hour Burma-Shave |
He lit a match To check gas tank That's why They call him Skinless frank Burma-Shave |
| The poorest guy In the Human race Can have a Million dollar face Burma-Shave |
The one who Drives when He's been drinking Depends on you To do his thinking Burma-Shave |
Hardy men Were the Caesars Instead of razors They used tweezers Burma Shave |
| The midnight Ride of Paul For beer Led to a warmer Hemishpere Burma Shave |
Henry VIII Sure Had Trouble Short Term Wives Long Term Stubble Burma Shave |
Don't stick your elbow Out too far Or it may Go home In another car! Burma Shave |
| When passing Through school zones Please drive slow. Let's let our Little shavers Grow. Burma Shave |
A Man A Miss A Car A Curve He kissed the Miss And missed the Curve Burma Shave |
Prickley Pears Are Picked for Pickles But no Peach Picks A Face that Prickles Burma Shave |
| Listen birds These signs cost money You can rest awhile But don't get Funny Burma Shave |
Thirty days Hath September April, June, an the Speed Offender. Burma Shave. |
Don't lose your head To save a minute You need your head Your brains are in it Burma Shave |
| Cattle Crossing Means Go Slow. That old bull Is some cow's beau. Burma Shave |
Round the curve Lickety-split Beautiful car Wasn't it? Burma Shave |
Dim your lights Behind a car Let folks see How bright you are Burma Shave |
| The bearded lady Tried a jar Now she's a famous Movie star Burma Shave |
If you don't know Whose signs these are You haven't driven Very far! Burma Shave |
Ben met Anna Made a hit Neglected beard Ben-Anna split. Burma Shave |
| Around the
corner Lickety-split Beautiful car Wasn't it? Burma Shave |
They missed the turn The car went whizzin' The fault was hern The FUNERAL hisn Burma Shave |
A nut at the wheel A peach on his right A curve in the road Fruit salad that night Burma Shave |
| Angels who guard you When you drive Usually retire At sixty-five Burma Shave |
He had the ring, He had the flat, She felt his chin, And that was that. Burma Shave |
Ben met Anna, Made a hit. She felt his chin. Ben - Anna split. Burma Shave |
| Shaving brush, Was like old Rover. When he died, He died all over. Burma Shave |
For painting cowshed, Barn or fence, Shaving brush Is just immense. Burma Shave |
Pity all the mighty Caesars. They pulled each whisker Out with tweezers. Burma Shave |
| He played the sax, Had no B.O. But his whiskers scratched, So she let him go. Burma Shave |
Snake rail fences And old log houses Both were built, To keep out the cowses Burma Shave |
Bristly beard or silky fuzz,
Shave 'em back, To where they was Burma Shave |
| Pink toothbrush Is a curse. Pink shaving brush Is a darn sight worse. Burma Shave |
College boys, Your courage muster. Shave off that fuzz And cookie duster. Burma Shave |
Farewell O verse, Along the road. How sad to see, You're out of mode. Burma Shave |
| You can drive A mile a minute But there is no Future in it. Burma Shave |
Free ! Free ! A trip to Mars For 500 empty jars Burma-Shave |
Car in ditch Man in tree Moon was full So was he! Burma Shave |
| Dinah doesn't Treat him right But if he'd shave Dinah-might! Burma Shave |
Substitutes Will let you down Quicker than A strapless gown Burma Shave |
Don't take A curve at Sixty per We hate to lose A customer Burma-Shave |
| In this vale Of toil and sin Your head grows bald But not your chin. Burma Shave |
If hugging on Highways Is your sport Trade in your car For a davenport. Burma Shave |
My cheek Said she Is smooth as satin Ha Ha Said he That's mine your're pattin' Burma Shave |
| She kissed the hairbrush By mistake; She thought it was Her husband, Jake Burma Shave |
Don't put your arm out Quite so far; It might go home In another car Burma Shave |
Proper distance To him was bunk He ended up In some guy's trunk. Burma Shave. |
| A man who passes On hills and curves Is not a man of iron nerves He's crazy Burma Shave |
Famous words About lights that shine If he won't dim his I won't dim mine Burma Shave |
Are your whiskers When you wake Tougher than A two bit steak? Burma Shave |
| This shave Is like A parachute There isn't Any substitute Burma Shave |
The salesman Taught the Farmer's daughter To plant Her tu-lips Where she otter Burma Shave |
Be a Noble Not a Knave Caesar Uses Burma Shave |
| Henry the 8th Sure had trouble Short term wives Long term stubble Burma Shave |
If you must test Her pucker paint Be sure to drive Where traffic ain't Burma Shave |
Drinking drivers Nothing worse They put the quart Before the hearse. Burma-Shave |
| The Midnight Ride Of Paul for beer Led to a warmer Hemisphere Burma Shave |
His tenor voice She thought divine 'Til whiskers scratched Sweet Adeline Burma Shave |
|
| His cheek Was rough His chick vamoosed And now she won't Come home to roost Burma-Shave |
The place to pass On curves You know Is only at A beauty show Burma-Shave |
On curves ahead Remember, sonny That rabbit's foot Didn't save The bunny Burma-Shave |
| Twinkle, twinkle One-eyed car We all wonder WHERE you are Burma-Shave |
These signs We gladly Dedicate To men who've had No date of late Burma-Shave |
A guy Who drives A car wide open Is not thinkin' He's just hopin' Burma-Shave |
| Train approaching Whistle squealing Pause! Avoid that Rundown feeling! Burma-Shave |
Soap May do For lads with fuzz But sir, you ain't The kid you wuz Burma-Shave |
Spring Has sprung The grass has riz Where last year's Careless drivers is Burma-Shave |
| Cautious rider To her Reckless dear Let's have less bull And lots more steer Burma-Shave |
Big blue tube It's a honey Best squeeze play For love Or money Burma-Shave |
Proper Distance To him was bunk They pulled him out Of some guy's trunk Burma-Shave |
| My cheek Says she Feels smooth as satin Ha! Ha! Says he That's mine you're pattin' Burma-Shave |
She eyed His beard And said no dice The wedding's off-- I'll COOK the rice Burma-Shave |
Unless Your face Is stinger free You'd better let Your honey be Burma-Shave |
| Another Red skin Bit the dust When Pa tried What these signs discussed Burma-Shave |
The band For which The grand stand roots Is not made up of Substi-toots! Burma-Shave |
Substitutes Can do More harm Than city fellers On a farm Burma-Shave |
| Pat's bristles Scratched Bridget's nose That's when Her wild Irish rose Burma-Shave |
A beard That's rough And overgrown Is better than A chaperone Burma-Shave |
The hobo Lets his Whiskers sprout It's trains--not girls That he takes out Burma-Shave |
| Drinking drivers Don't you know Great bangs From little Binges grow? Burma-Shave |
I know He's a wolf Said riding hood But Grandma dear, He smells so good Burma-Shave |
The wife Who keeps on Being kissed Always heads Her shopping list Burma-Shave |
| Is he Lonesome Or just blind-- This guy who drives So close behind? Burma-Shave |
Pedro Walked Back home by golly His bristly chin Was hot-to-Molly Burma-Shave |
Missin' Kissin'? Perhaps your thrush Can't get thru The underbrush--try Burma-Shave |
| Clancy's Whiskers Tickle Nancy Nancy lowered the boom On Clancy! Burma-Shave |
A chin Where barbed wire Bristles stand Is bound to be A no ma'ams land Burma-Shave |
Leaves Face soft As woman's touch Yet doesn't cost you Near as much Burma-Shave |
| We can't Provide you With a date But we do supply The best darn bait Burma-Shave |
The wolf Is shaved So neat and trim Red Riding Hood Is chasing him Burma-Shave |
Relief For faces Chapped and sore Keeps 'em comin' Back for more Burma-Shave |
| His Tomato Was the mushy type Until his beard Grew over-ripe Burma-Shave |
Heaven's Latest Neophyte Signalled left Then turned right Burma-Shave |
Better try Less speed per mile That car May have to Last a while Burma-Shave |
| The whale Put Jonah Down the hatch But coughed him up Because he scratched Burma-Shave |
Violets are blue Roses are pink On graves Of those Who drive and drink Burma-Shave |
Candidate says Campaign Confusing Babies kiss me Since I've been using Burma-Shave |
| My job is Keeping faces clean And nobody knows De stubble I've seen Burma-Shave |
Doesn't Kiss you Like she useter? Perhaps she's seen A smoother rooster!! Burma-Shave |
No use Knowing How to pick 'em If your half-shaved Whiskers stick 'em Burma-Shave |
.....
And remember that
Jesus loves you !
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A Vote From Y'all
Is Worth Crowing About
Thank You, Pastor Bill 
