Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine
The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum.
Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939)
Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at.
Carlos A. Urbizo
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Only fools are positive.
Moe Howard (1897 - 1975)
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - )
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
Unknown
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
Doug Larson
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck (1927 - )
ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude -- a privation appealing with a particular eloquence to all that is sympathetic in human nature. When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place. It is then instructed in the arts of dependence and servitude and eventually turned loose to prey upon the world as a bootblack or scullery maid.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence.
J. R. R. Tolkien (1892 - 1973)
Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.
J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord Of the Rings, Book Four, Chapter One
