Mission: Implausible
by Krystyn Poe
Mission: Implausible: Part EW: Seifer Peroxide vs. Andrew Packer
Seifer found himself in a crater where a bowling alley used to be. The lanes were cracked and splintered, pins were scattered everywhere, the computer screens that used to keep score for everyone were falling to pieces, and the roof was completely gone. It was such a sad sight. Just looking at it made Seifer's mind wander back to the time when he bowled his first 180 with his left hand, ahhh yes, what a wonderful moment that was...
So naturally the sound of big footsteps behind him shook him out of his dream-like reverie and back to the present. He turned around and found himself face to face with a giant white mouse with a seemingly nasty temperament.
"Hello, I'm Seifer Peroxide. It's nice to meet you..." Seifer extended his hand to the mouse
The mouse, surprised, shook it. "Andrew Packer. Look, I'd love to stick and chat, but I really need to find some more bowling balls to digest, so do you think you could point me in the direction of the nearest bowling alley...?"
"I'm sorry, I don't exactly know where the next one would be." Seifer said, sounding a little more sorry than he felt.
"Oh. Well, thanks anyway." Andrew said, starting to turn around and go searching once again.
"Wait a sec! Andrew, you wouldn't happen to be the mouse that Dani cast a spell on, would you?" Seifer exclaimed as the possibility hit him.
Andrew turned back to him and looked confused. "Dani?"
Seifer dug out his wallet and started flipping through pictures. "Um, yeah, Dani. Here, this is what she looks like." Seifer showed Andrew a picture of Dani and all of the sudden Andrew seemed to melt and little hearts floated above his head.
"She's the most beautiful mouse in the world...Dani is her name? What a wonderful name..." Andrew wandered around in a lovesick daze for the next 15 minutes while Seifer looked at the picture with a confused expression on his face, wondering why it had had that effect on Andrew. It's not like Dani put a spell on his picture or anything...this was just getting too weird. First he got a call from her out of nowhere saying a cursed mouse was eating all the mimes and bowling balls in the world and the only way to stop it was to get some sacred golden ring thingie, then he fell down a chasm and solved the riddle of the spooky voice, followed by playing a poker game with a ghost and ending up indirectly blowing up a truck to actually get the ring, and finally he was stuck with a giant mouse who had fallen in love with Dani? This was more twisted than most stories ever got.
"Hey, Andrew, since I guess you are the mouse she played with, I'm supposed to reverse the spell she put on you and make you stop eating bowling balls. Mind if I put this ring on your finger and shrink you down to size again?"
Andrew looked up from his pile of flower petals made from playing "She loves me, she loves me not" over and over again. "Huh? Oh, sure, fine, whatever you want."
This is almost too easy. Seifer thought as he went up to Andrew to put the ring on his finger. Then he paused. He was right. It was too easy. There had to be something he could do before just ending it so simply...some way to get back at Dani for putting him through all this in the first place...
His eyes lit up as an idea struck him. "Hey Andrew, I have a proposition for you..."
"Put me down this instant! I'm warning you guys, I'll get you for this, I swear! I won't forget, now PUT ME DOWN!" Dani shrieked
Sarah and Maggie were dying of laughter while Seifer continued to film an alternate version of "Godzilla" starring Andrew Packer as Godzilla and Dani as the helpless female victim. It was a pretty hysterical site, Dani fighting with all of her might to free herself from the grasp of Andrew who, half the time was pretending to look scary for the camera, and the other half trying to whisper sweet nothings into her ears.
Finally, Seifer pulled the camera away from his eye. "That's enough Andrew, you can put her down now." He told the big white mouse.
Andrew reluctantly put the very POed Dani on the ground, and she immediately stormed up to Seifer, eyes glowing red. "You little traitor! Why I oughta..."
"Hey, hey, calm down Dani! I was just having a little fun, no harm done, and now I can put the ring on Andrew and get going, okay?"
Dani stopped seething so much and just glared, the glow in her eyes dying away. "Fine, but I swear, if anyone finds out about this I will personally hunt you down and mutilate your body so badly even your dentist won't be able to identify you!"
Seifer held up his hands. "Okay, I get the point, I'm going." He then slid the ring onto his finger, leaving Andrew stranded with Dani...or would it be more appropriate to put that the other way around?
It didn't really matter. When Seifer got back to his castle he set the ring down on his nightstand and laid down on his king sized bed to take a nap. This story could finally be classified as Mission: Completed.
Back to the Mulder filing cabinet
Back to that dusty old table of contents
