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GO AHEAD AND COMPLAIN YA FENIAN BASTARDS
After seeing titanic thirty two times, i became entranced with the music of Ireland, so i saw riverdance eighty four times, after that, i decided to concentrate my energies into learning Irish dancing, with my inherent grace, i'd be a natural.
So i went to some lessons, i learned some basic steps, and everything was going fine, until we got to the fancier footwork, every time i'd try and dance, i'd kick myself in the balls.
That hurts. But i kept trying, and kept kicking myself in the balls, now, i can't have kids.
but the worst part is, i've completely lost respect for that leprechaun which follows me around, when he tells me to burn things, i just say fuck you man, go back home and leave me alone or i'll step on your stupid little mick ass and steal your lucky charms.
Anyway the fire department's happy, they've got less work, and i've learned a thing or two about the irish, they suck, suck, fucking suck. Also, the potato famine, was a hoax, they had plenty of potatoes, in fact, they had so many of them they were sick of them, that's all they ate, morning, noon, and night, so when they heard that new york city had openings for cops and priests, they jumped on the first boat, and
started spreading disease on a new continent, And why the hell is australia supposedly a continent? All it is is the ancestors of a bunch of losers so pathetic they got kicked the hell out of limey-land, if australia can be a continent, why isn't alcatraz? it used to be a prison, it's on an island. And oh yeah, you stupid micks, thanks a lot for the kennedy family, i know i certainly sleep a lot better knowing a private plane piloted by some worthless pretty boy might come crashing from the sky any minute, yeah that's right, you heard me paddy, what the hell you gonna do about it you stupid mick? Did you know that leprosy comes from leprechauns? it's true, and lucky the leprechaun wasn't a real leprechaun, wasn't even irish, he was a fifty two year old jewish marxist, ex insurance agent, oh god, i hate the freakin' micks so much, i can't even make sense anymore, you got a problem? c'mon, eat me seamus