Fandom: Hercules/Xena
Pairings: Ares/Joxer
Rating: R for violence
Category: AU
Warnings: m/m
Archive: Yes to Joxerotica and WWOMB
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. The situation is. No harm intended, no money made.
Notes: Title and plot comes from the song by Melissa Etheridge. I didn't ask her permission either.

Summary: Ares gets on Zeus' bad side and Joxer has to save him

Ares knew it was useless but struggled anyway. The chains Hephestus had forged cut deeper into his skin aggravating the cuts and bruises he'd received when he was taken.

Exhausted, he finally gave up and bowed his head in submission.

Zeus pulled the bowed head up by the hair and sneered down at his son. "Well Ares, I see you've managed to fail yet again. And this time you're going to be punished for your incompetence."

Zeus released Ares' hair with a sound of disgust returned to his throne. "What exactly was so difficult Ares? All you had to do was start a war. Those two kings have been at each other's throats for years. A child could have set them off. But the God of War can't manage more than a minor scuffle."

Zeus tapped his fingers on the arm of his throne, "What exactly went wrong Ares? I'm sure you have a good excuse. Like always."

Ares stared at the floor and refused to speak, it never did any good any way.

Zeus snarled and sent a thunderbolt crashing into Ares' chest. Ares flew across the room and hit the marble wall hard enough to crack it. He lay stunned and waited quietly for Zeus to finish him off. He knew there was nothing he could do to save himself this time.

Zeus wanted those two men dead and was willing to do almost anything to achieve that goal. Except of course do it himself. Zeus didn't like getting his hands dirty, that was Ares' job.

Zeus stretched out his hand and called another thunderbolt to him. It was time for him to find a new God of War. Athena had always wanted the job. Maybe he'd give her a chance. Zeus released the bolt and watched it speed across the temple to his son. It never reached it's destination.

Hera snatched the bolt from mid air and closed her hand about it. It flickered once and then died. "What are you up to you bastard?" Hera snarled at her husband.

Zeus sputtered incoherently, "How DARE you! I am the King of the Gods. I can punish him as I see fit."

"And I'm the Queen of the Gods Zeus. Or had you forgotten that fact? I have just as much power as you do, it would behoove you to remember that."

Zeus thought fast. He wanted Ares gone but Hera wouldn't allow that to happen. But maybe Ares didn't have to die to get him out of the way of Zeus' plans. "Very well Hera," Zeus said in a reasonable tone, "I won't hurt your precious brat. But he will be punished. He disobeyed me again, and I can't have that."

Hera laughed at her husband's transparent attempt to pull the wool over her eyes. "Is this about that war between Picus and Belen? Are you still beating that tired old horse? A mortal woman chose to wed a prince instead of bedding you and what did you do? You killed her and turned best friends against each other with your lies. I don't see why Ares should be punished for not doing something you haven't been able to do for twenty years."

"Silence woman!! You will not speak to me in that tone. You can be punished too. And as for the brat..."

Zeus transported them all to Ares' temple in Thrace. He took Ares' sword and embedded it into the marble floor and drug Ares over to it. He hooked the chains binding his son over the hilt and draped the key to the lock around Ares' bowed head.

Hera grabbed his arm and screeched in his ear, "What in Tartarus are you up to Zeus?!"

He shook off the restraining hand and stepped back for a moment to survey the scene before him. Something was missing. With a cruel smirk he materialized a goblet decorated with the image of his winged horse Pegasus and filled it with Ambrosia and set in on the floor in front of Ares. With a wave of his hand Ares was surrounded by ring of fire.

Ares moaned pitifully when the flames heated his chains and they seared his flesh. Zeus laughed and in a thunderous voice proclaimed, "Grecians! Hear the King of the Gods! Ares is being punished for disobeying me. Any who seek to aid him will face my wrath!" Zeus vanished in a shower of light leaving his son and his wife behind.

Hera tried to get to Ares. She tried so many times her skin turned black from the heat. Weeping tears of pain and rage she made her own proclamation.

"Here this people of Greece. I, Hera, Queen of the Gods, seek justice for the abuse of my child. So I give you this curse. Until Ares is freed there shall be no child born and no marriage made."

Zeus heard Hera's cry and flashed back into Ares' temple. "Hera! What have you done?"

Hera turned her ravaged face to her husband. "What is in my rights Zeus. You can not stop me. I hold the power of childbirth and the sanctity of marriage in my hands. You have no dominion over it. When the people of Greece die out it will be because of your lust for revenge."

Zeus screamed at his wife but she would not budge. Finally he set words made of fire into the wall behind Ares.

"Any mortal willing to
give his life for Ares,
shall set him free and
earn his reward."

"There Hera. Are you happy now? If one of Ares' followers is willing to walk across fire for him he'll be free."

"And what is the reward Zeus? Death? The fire burned me. No mortal will be able to cross it."

"One who's only desire is to free Ares will be able to. But no God shall aid him. Do you hear me Hera?"

"Yes. And on the day my son is free I'll remove my curse. But not until them." Hera flashed back to her temple and immediately began searching for the mortal able to save her son.

Burned bodies littered the floor. Most of them belonging to Ares' High Priests and his most faithful Warlords. Still others were being tended by Asclepius and his followers. The moans and screams of the wounded filled the air along with the scent of burnt flesh and blood.

And Ares was in the middle of it all. Surrounded by fire and chained to his own sword. He was so far gone into his own pain and exhaustion he didn't hear the screams. And the Ambrosia he needed to heal himself was just out of reach. Seeming to taunt him with relief of his agony.

Hercules and Xena both tried many times to get to Ares but failed. Their wounds were being tended by their friends when Joxer finally found them. He clattered into the temple and immediately tripped over one of the wounded. Apologizing profusely he finally made it over to his friends.

"Hey guys. I just heard. Are you going to free him?"

"Not now Joxer." Gabrielle said tiredly.

"But Gabby. We have to get Ares free. Look at him. He's hurt."

Xena glared at the young man who managed to annoy her more than any else. "Joxer. If it weren't for Hera's curse we wouldn't even be trying."

Joxer sat down with a thump. "Hera's curse? What curse?"

"The Queen Bitch of the Gods declared that no child would be born until Ares was released. Like Xena said. If it weren't for her we'd leave him where he is. At least he can't cause any trouble. And he probably deserves it."

Joxer frowned at his friends, "But guys. You're the 'good guys' remember? You aren't supposed to care if someone deserves to be saved or not. You just do it because it's the right thing to do."

"This is different Joxer." Iolaus said.

"How?"

"It's Ares. God of War? How many times has he tried to kill us? And how many good people has he killed? Hercules is right. If Hera hadn't cursed everyone we'd leave him to burn."

"So. What did Ares do to deserve this?" Joxer asked quietly.

"Does it really matter Joxer?" Gabrielle asked.

Hera flashed into the temple and answered the bard. "Yes it does matter."

Joxer jumped to his feet and bowed to Hera. "Ma'am."

Hercules grabbed him and yanked him back down to the floor. "Don't bow to her Joxer. She deserves no respect."

Unaccountably Joxer rose back to his feet. "That's your opinion. But I was raised to be respectful to the Gods, even if you weren't. And we don't really want to make her angry do we?"

Joxer turned back to Hera and was surprised to see a smile gracing her face. A smile aimed at him. "Um, Ma'am. Could you tell me what Ares did wrong?"

"Nothing. Zeus wanted a war, Ares got it started and your friends here managed to stop it before Zeus got what he wanted."

Joxer thought back to the many wars Hercules and Xena had stopped. "Excuse me. But exactly which war are you talking about?"

"Picus and Belen. Zeus wants them dead and expects Ares to take care of it."

Hercules staggered to his feet. "I don't believe you. What possible reason could Zeus have for wanting them dead?"

"A woman of course. Belen's sister. Zeus wanted her and she refused him to marry Picus. So Zeus killed her and laid the blame on her husband. The two men have hated each other ever since. And Zeus is still angry. So he ordered Ares to start a war between the two. A war that would decimate both of their lands." Hera waved a hand at Hercules and his friends. "A war you stopped. And Ares is suffering for it."

"Do you really think I'd believe anything you'd say Hera? You kill people all the time. Like my wife and children." Hercules snarled.

Hera frowned, "I won't apologize for that Hercules. It had to be done. And it was so fast they never felt a thing. And they're safe in the Elysian fields. Hades protects them there. Zeus can't touch them."

Hercules grabbed Hera by the front of her robes and pulled her off her feet. "What kind of lies are you spreading now Hera? We know you killed them because you hate me."

Hera knocked Hercules away from her with a negligent wave of her hand. "Oh I do hate you Hercules. Not because you're one of Zeus' bastards, but because you're a self-righteous hypocrite. And it doesn't matter if you believe me or not. You aren't what's important here. Either Ares is freed or the curse stays." Hera flashed out of the temple leaving a confused group of people behind.

Joxer waited until his friends were asleep to quietly creep out. He clung to the shadows and finally made it to Hera's temple. He knelt at her altar and called to her. "Hera? It's me. Joxer. I need to talk to you."

Hera appeared before Joxer and pulled him to his feet. "I had a feeling I would be seeing you again young one."

Hera sat in her golden throne and made a chair for Joxer to sit in. He fidgeted nervously for moment before speaking. "Could you tell me why you killed Hercules' family?"

Hera regarded the young man carefully. She'd done some checking on him after their earlier meeting. And while she didn't like what she saw of his childhood, she did like the man he had become. She decided he could handle the truth.

"Hercules' wife was a beautiful woman. And a good one too. I've seldom seen a more caring mother and wife. What Hercules did to deserve her I have no idea. But Zeus wanted her too. He'd have killed her children and made sure their souls could never find peace. And then he would have taken her and destroyed her." Hera knew Joxer would understand when she said, "There are many things worse than dying Joxer. This was the only way I could be sure the children and Deinera would be safe. And they're together and happy. Hades makes sure of that."

Joxer nodded and stared down at the floor for a moment thinking about all that Hera had said. "How do I free Ares?" he asked.

Hera lifted his chin so she could look into his eyes. There was no fear there, just determination. She smiled and kissed his forehead making him blush. "I had hoped you were the one. Listen carefully and do as I say."

Joxer crept back into Ares' temple and was happy to see everyone was still sleeping. He stopped in front of the ring of fire and quietly removed his armor. Taking a deep breath he stepped into the flames.

Heat scorched his skin but he kept his eyes fixed on Ares' slumped form. It seemed to take forever but he finally made it through.

Moving quickly he grabbed the key from around Ares' neck, hissing when it seared the palm of his hand. He unlocked the chains, barely managing to get one slender shoulder under Ares' chest before he fell.

Joxer propped Ares up against his sword and grabbed the goblet of Ambrosia. Steam rose from the contact of his bare skin and the hot metal but he got it to Ares' lips and poured some into his mouth.

Ares felt his strength returning and grabbed the goblet held to his lips. He drained the Ambrosia letting it heal him. Careful hands helped him to his feet and then guided his hand to the hilt of his sword. And then all of Tartarus broke loose.

Zeus knew the moment Ares pulled his sword free and immediately flashed into Ares' temple. He found a slender young man holding Ares steady while he healed. Hercules and his friends had surrounded the pair and were shouting questions at them. Zeus shoved them all aside and glared down at the mortal who had dared to free Ares.

Zeus pulled a thunderbolt out of the air and was preparing to blast the fool into nothingness when Hera arrived. She grabbed Joxer around the waist and smirked at Zeus. "I hereby lift my curse. And now I'll see that this one gets his reward."

Hera vanished taking Joxer with her. Zeus followed, determined to punish the young man but couldn't find them. He returned to Olympus and began searching for a new object of his affections.

There was more shouting and recriminations in Ares' temple but he ignored them. Ares made note of the bodies of the men who had tried to save him. He would speak to Hades and make sure they were well taken care of.

Then he wandered through his temple, healing the wounded. If anyone asked he would have said it was because the screams were annoying him, even if that weren't the real reason.

He managed to avoid Hercules as long as he could but his younger brother wouldn't give up.

Hercules grabbed Ares and shook him. "Where is he? What did she do with him?"

Ares glared at him and then threw him across the room. Iolaus started at him but Ares shook his head at him and said, "Don't even try it Blondie. I'm not in the mood. Pick him up and get out of my temple."

Ares made himself comfortable and watched as Iolaus and Xena dragged Hercules out the double doors. The Amazon turned to look at Ares before she too left. "Will Joxer be all right?"

Ares didn't answer and she finally followed her friends.

It was almost dawn when Hera finally returned to her son's temple. She hugged him to her silently for a moment before releasing him.

"Joxer saved me?" he asked quietly.

"Yes child. He did. I took him away where Zeus won't be able to find him. I left him with a 'friend'. He's safe and will be well taken care of."

"Will he ever be able to return?"

"Maybe some day Ares. But not for a while."

Ares suddenly burst into laughter. "I can't believe 'Joxer' saved me! He's the worst warrior I have."

Hera waited until Ares controlled his mirth. Her voice was like steel when he had finally quieted. "He was the only one who could have Ares. The only one. Think about that."

Hera returned to Olympus and left Ares silently contemplating the mortal who had risked everything to save him.

Joxer stared up at the woman standing over him. Her face kept changing and it was making him dizzy. She took his burned hands in hers and healed them with a touch but left the scars.

She smiled down at the marks. The perfect outline of a key on one and Pegasus on the other. She dropped his hands and raised his face to look into his dark eyes. She liked what she saw and smiled. "Well young man. Hera tells me you're something special. Let's see what you're made of shall we?"

Joxer scrambled to his feet and followed the woman out of the room Hera had left him in. "Excuse me Ma'am. I don't mean to be rude. But who are you?"

Her laughter sounded like sunlight and storms all at the same time. "I have many names young Joxer. But you can call me Morrigan."