Willow looked through the glass. "I think my girlfriend has sufficiently threatened your boyfriend. Shall we go back inside?"

Xander smiled slightly. "We aren’t… we don’t have that kind of relationship."

Willow frowned. "You don’t? I thought you…"

"I do, Wills, but Angel. Well, it’s just an ends to a means for him. We’re connected somehow, and he’s sort of stuck with me. That’s all."

Willow looked sceptical. "I think you’re wrong."

Xander shrugged. "Whatever." He moved towards to door, not wanting to get stuck on the receiving end of one of Willow’s patented ’I-know-best-so-you-better-pay-attention’ lectures.

They walked back inside and Xander observed that both Angel and Faith seemed satisfied with whatever they had discussed.

"Hey. Miss me?" Willow asked, joining Faith on the couch.

Faith winked. "You bet." She stood up. "Fang here was just telling me all sorts of stories. Something about you and a ghost costume?"

Willow blushed. "Yeah well, it wasn’t just me. Xan was a soldier." She turned to Angel. "You remember that too?"

Angel turned to look at Xander, something indefinable passing between them. "Definitely."

Xander looked away. "Okay, party’s over. Tell the G-man I’ll be by tomorrow. Cordy too."

"Okay." Willow stood up, hugged both Xander and Angel one more time. "Don’t forget to keep in touch. Take care of each other."

Angel nodded as Xander walked them to the door. When he returned Angel was watching him, his face expressionless.

"What is it? Did she upset you?" Xander asked warily.

"No." Angel stepped closer to Xander. "You’re wrong though."

"About what?"

"What you were telling Willow."

Xander swallowed thickly. "You were listening?" He asked as he stepped out of the vampire’s reach.

"No, but I was watching. I saw the look on your face. Whatever you’re thinking, Xander Harris, you’re wrong."

Xander looked up defiantly, on safer ground knowing Angel didn’t actually *hear* anything. "Am I?"

"Yes." Angel closed the distance between them. "I know you don’t believe me…yet, but you will."

He closed his lips over Xander's, halting any further comments.

*~*~*~*

The next day found Xander standing in front of the double doors leading to the library

He took a deep breath before pushing the doors open and stepping inside.

"Hey." He smiled as he entered the room, hoping he didn’t look as nervous as he felt.

"Xander." Giles stepped out of his office, cleaning his glasses. "It’s good to see you."

"Yeah, boinking the undead agrees with you." Cordelia grinned from her spot at one of the tables.

Xander blushed slightly. "Cordy!"

His ex-girlfriend laughed as Giles cleared his throat. "Just kidding. Although you do look good."

"Thanks." Xander mumbled as he came and sat on the edge of her table. "Where’s Wills?"

"Her and the little woman went out." Cordelia grinned again, clearly enjoying making Giles uncomfortable.

"Out where?" Xander frowned, ignoring Cordelia’s comment. He was hoping to see Willow and Faith again before he left.

"A body was discovered near Pontego, out by Miller’s pond. They went to check it out." Giles answered, glad to have something to contribute that *didn’t* have to do with either Willow or Xander’s probable romantic entanglements.

"Oh." Xander sighed. "Will they be back soon? I was hoping to say goodbye."

"So, it’s really true?" Cordelia asked seriously, almost surprised. "Angel’s really back…the cuddly version? And you’re really leaving…together?"

Xander looked up a Giles and was relieved when the watcher smiled at him in understanding.

"I’ve got a meeting." He moved towards the door. "You’ll still be here…for…" Giles hesitated.

Xander nodded. "Yeah, G-man. I’ll wait."

Giles nodded his thanks, ignoring Xander’s hated nickname and left the library.

Xander turned back to Cordelia. "Yeah, Angel’s back and he’s…Angel again…permanently."

Cordelia sighed in relief. "Good."

"About which?" Xander raised an eyebrow.

Cordelia stared at her ex-boyfriend seriously. "I’m glad he came back, and I’m glad everything worked out." She smiled a little sadly. "You deserve some happiness. Both of you."

Xander didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t really sure what to expect from Cordelia. They were friends. Close friends, but he hadn’t seen or heard from her since Angel’s return. It had only been a couple of days, but seemed like much more. Xander wasn’t sure how she’d react. This wasn’t exactly what he was expecting.

"You don’t really seem surprised." Xander noted, unconsciously echoing Angel’s words of a few days ago.

Cordelia shrugged. "I’m not. I guess I always knew there was more going on between you and the undead hottie."

"Cordy, we were never…well anything." Xander protested.

"Maybe not." Cordelia allowed. "But you were never what you pretended either."

"And what as that?" Xander asked slowly.

"Enemies." She smiled again. "I know you took it hard, when he…went away."

Xander sighed. "It’s complicated."

Cordelia snorted. "I’m sure." She held up a manicured hand to stop Xander‘s protest. "I don’t want to know. You and I both know that what happened before, with us, well it wasn‘t anything." Cordelia said, unaware how her current words resembled the ones Xander had tried to utter to Willow the night before.

She was unaware that the similarities made Xander realize that maybe Willow was right. Maybe he was wrong. The weirdness with Angel wasn’t anything like joke of a relationship he and Cordelia had pretended to have.

Cordelia smiled as she stood up and walked around the table to give Xander a hug. "Just take care of yourself."

Xander returned the hug and smiled back, relieved that she seemed to be taking everything so well. "You too, Cor."

She walked away, leaving Xander alone with his thoughts.

He was glad Cordelia hadn’t wanted any sort of explanation because he wasn’t certain he could have given her one.

She was right when she said that he and Angel had never been enemies. He knew it was true, and was suddenly realizing it was the only person that was just discovering that fact.

Neither Cordelia nor Willow had seemed very surprised by this latest turn of events, and Giles didn’t seem terribly upset either. What exactly did that mean?

Xander could now recognize that what he felt wasn’t hatred for Angel, or anger that the vampire had something he wanted, the way some people thought. It was more frustration.

Frustration that no one else seemed to *see* that Angel was a killer. He was a demon. No amount of soul restoration could change that.

The first time Xander had seen Angel had been from a distance, and although the most noticeable thing about him at the time has been the fact that he was all that Buffy said he was, physically. And although at the time they didn’t know he was a vampire, Xander could remember feeling something off about him, something dangerous.

Later, after Darla was killed and Angel’s true nature was revealed, Xander knew where that feeling of danger came from.

The first time they’d ever been alone together, Xander looked at Angel, and tried to see this poor, harmless, guilt-ridden puppy Buffy tried to present.

He didn’t see it.

What he did see what a man capable of great violence. A man who may have remorse for his past, but who was still capable of doing harm, when it was necessary.

He saw a darkness there, in his eyes. A darkness he recognized, not in vampires, or demons, but in real people.

Maybe it was Xander’s first hand knowledge of the evil in man that made him realize that a soul wasn’t automatically systematic of being good. Maybe he was just paranoid.

He had never truly been afraid of Angel, not for himself, but he was *aware* that things weren’t as black and white as everyone wanted to believe.

Even now, when his own life had taken an even bigger detour into the bizarre, Xander knew that things weren’t as simple as they might seem, no matter how well everyone was taking things.

He did know that there had always been something between them. Not necessarily something good, but something. And now that something had taken on a life of its own.

Xander knew exactly what it was Angel was trying to tell him the night before. He knew what Angel wanted him to believe. He even believed that Angel believed it himself.

Xander wanted to believe Angel, to trust him and what he said, but his life, his experience had taught him that trust and faith were things you couldn’t believe in.

His friendship with Willow was the only exception.

*~*~*~*

"Xander. Good, you’re still here." Giles said as he came back into the library, pulling Xander out of his internal thoughts.

"I said I wait." Xander shrugged as Giles lugged a couple of heavy books onto an empty table.

"Good." Giles said again, looking around the room as if he expected someone else to be there.

"Cordy left." Xander offered, assuming that’s who the watcher was looking for.

"I know. I saw her in the parking lot."

"Angel isn’t coming." Xander stated quietly, realizing the vampire was the only person Giles could be searching for.

"Ah." Giles visibly relaxed.

"He, uh… he’s better."

"I know." Giles smiled softly. "I do realize that, but sometimes…" He trailed off, not sure what he was trying to say.

"Sometimes you can’t forget." Stepped closer to the older man. "You remember who he was, before… how he helped us all. Then you remember what he did, after… to Jenny, to you, and you have trouble reconciling the two."

Giles smiled fondly again at the young man, realizing how much more there was to Xander than they often gave him credit for. There was a lot more to him than was readily apparent.

"You don’t, do you? You never did" Giles smoke quietly, with certainty, understanding something about the Xander-Angel dynamic that he never had before.

"That’s why you hated him so much. It wasn’t him you hated, but the rest of us. They way we couldn’t…see."

Xander frowned, not completely sure what Giles was getting at, but recognizing something in the words, so close to his own thoughts earlier.

"Buffy was so devastated by what happened, trying to find some sign of Angel in Angelus. We *all* were we used to Angel the vampire with the soul, helping us, we forgot who and what he really was. All, except you."

Xander blinked, surprised that Giles was even willing to discuss Angel, at all. "How… how do you come to that conclusion?"

"Xander." Giles looked closely at the boy, his eyes serious. "Buffy kept looking for Angel in Angelus. What she didn’t realize was that Angelus didn’t replace Angel. They’d both been there all along. You understood that. You weren’t looking for the man, the friend, we’d lost because you’d always seen the demon as well as the man." Giles stepped back a little. "You weren’t shocked by what he became."

Xander thought about what it was Giles was trying to say to him, inadvertently giving voice to his own thoughts.

Xander had looked at Angel that night, in the vampire’s apartment; the night that the Master had killed Buffy, albeit briefly, and had seen not only the souled, guilty creature Buffy wanted to see, but also the killer he could still be.

"Maybe." Xander spoke finally. "But he did change. When he lost his soul again he wasn’t just a vampire, a souless creature. He was worse. I never saw that that. I would have said something, tried to… I don’t know, do something."

"Would we have listened?" Giles asked honestly, trying to get Xander to see the truth. "When Jenny came to see me…. She told me that the wrong per people had done had been fixed. Maybe it was the curse that changed him; maybe it was the clause that made it worse." Giles offered, truly believing it was possible, and not wanting Xander to think that he really could have changed things.

"I guess we’ll never know." Xander shook his head, and looked around the room for what would probably be the last time. "I’m gonna miss you, G-man."

Giles groaned half-heartedly, glad that the serious part of the conversation seemed to have passed. "Must you call me that?"

Xander grinned.

"Knock knock." Willow poked her head in the door. "We interrupting?"

"No of course not. Come in." Giles turned to the two girls as the entered the library. "What did you find?"

Faith hopped onto a nearby table and began filling Giles in while Xander tried to drift unobtrusively towards the door. He was glad things seemed to be business as usual. It meant everything was going to be okay. His friends would be okay.

He’d actually managed to make it into the hall before Willow stopped him from going any further.

"Not so fast, buster."

Xander froze and turned around.

"Sneaking away?"

Xander shrugged. "I hate sappy good-byes." He said as if he actually had any experience with such a thing. "Besides, I should probably go." He looked down the hall and saw the waning sun through the window on the door. "Angel wants to leave just after sunset."

Willow hugged Xander tightly. "Don’t be a stranger." She whispered.

"I won’t." Xander hugged her back briefly before pulling away and moving reluctantly towards the outside.

"Take care of yourself…and Faith." He told her seriously.

"We’ll take care of each other." Willow smiled. "And Xander?"

Xander stopped in front of the door. "Yeah?"

"Give Angel a chance."

"I will." Xander told her honestly, knowing he would.

He opened the doors and turned to see her one last time. "I love you."

Willow waited until the doors had shut behind Xander before speaking. "I love you too."

*~*~*~*

Xander leaned heavily against a tree halfway between the school and the Crawford Street mansion.

Saying goodbye to his friends had taken more out of him than he expected. He had never really thought much about leaving Sunnydale, and just living his life. He’d never thought about leaving Willow behind.

A part of him was sorry that they seemed to have grown up enough to be able to do it, but another part realized that this, whatever it really was, was right.

Willow belonged in Sunnydale, with Faith. Maybe they wouldn’t always be there, but for now, that’s where she belonged.

And he belonged with Angel, wherever that happened to be, doing whatever it was they were supposed to be doing.

He was still confused, and unsure about a lot of things, but that much he knew.

Taking a deep breath, Xander moved away from the tree and continued walking.

When he got to the mansion, Angel was just putting an ice cooler in the back seat of a convertible.

"Nice wheels." Xander looked inside the car and noticed that aside from the cooler, the car was empty. No bags, or luggage of any kind."

"I don’t have much of…anything." Angel said noticing Xander’s puzzled expression.

"What’s in the cooler?"

"Soda and a couple of sandwiches I had delivered from the deli on Roberts and…"

"And blood." Xander nodded his head. "You’ve thought of everything, Deadboy." Xander grinned. "You ready?"

"You want to stop by your house and get anything? Say goodbye to your parents?"

Xander stiffened slightly. "No. Let’s just go."

"Okay." Angel said, not entirely surprised. "Let’s go."

Angel climbed in the car and started the engine. "Do you know where in Los Angeles we’re supposed to go?"

Xander shrugged as he shut his own door. "Not really. I didn’t recognize anything, but then I’ve never actually been to Los Angeles."

"I have." Angel drove down Crawford Street. "What did you see… aside from the people?"

Xander sighed, trying to recall anything specific that would be of use. "There was a building… a hotel I think."

"You remember what it was called?"

"The… H…something."

"The Hyperion?" Angel asked, frozen for a second, not believing out of all the hotels in Los Angeles, that's the one Xander saw.

"Yeah, I think so. You know it?"

"I did." Angel answered as he drove the car out of Sunnydale.

*~*~*~*

The End