Zeus appeared in the main room of Aphrodite's temple with a minimum of fanfare. He did a quick scan of the room and raised one thick brow in surprise.

Pointedly ignoring the fact that she had Hercules suspended in mid air and was pounding him with bolt after bolt of energy, Zeus spoke to his errant child with no more force than if they were discussing the weather on Olympus.

"Well Aphrodite, it looks like you managed to control yourself, this time. Mind telling me what set off this display?"

'Dite actually blushed and then cut off the power flow she'd been directing at her brother. Hercules landed hard, groaned once and then was quiet. 'Dite winced when he hit. "Ouch, that sounded painful." Then shrugging her dainty shoulders, she turned her most winsome smile on her father. "Daddy, someone put a geis on Iolaus and Hercules won't tell me who it was. If we don't get it removed, and soon, Iolaus will die."

"'Dite, I know how much he means to you, but we have bigger problems right now. Why don't you..."

Xena interrupted the God's conversation. "What kind of geis Aphrodite?"

"If Iolaus becomes separated from Hercules he'll get sick and die." Aphrodite was almost in tears at this point.

Gabrielle made a rude noise but before she could open her mouth Xena whirled to face her. "Not one word Gabrielle, not one. So help me, if you open your mouth again, I'll gag you." Gabrielle's face turned white and then red. Gods and mortal alike knew the storm was about to begin again.

Gabrielle's first word came out as a muffled squeak. She was bound and gagged faster than Xena could blink. Turning back to face the Gods, Xena was surprised when Cupid shrugged and said nonchalantly, "My way's faster." The young God had been so quiet Xena had almost forgotten he was there. She nodded once in acknowledgment of his actions and then flashed a wide grin at him. The answering smile on Cupid's face made Xena's heart beat faster. Shaking her head to banish the images that smile provoked, Xena looked at Aphrodite.

"When you say separated, I'm guessing you don't mean physically."

"Right, I mean emotional distance. If Curly ever breaks it off with Hercules he'll die." Aphrodite felt a small glimmer of hope at the expression of Xena's face. "You know something don't you?"

Xena nodded, "But I'm not sure it's good news. Iolaus told us that when The Light returned him, his punishment was to be by Hercules' side forever. I doubt he realized they actually meant it as a punishment. Michael would be the one to ask. If you can get him to answer."

Aphrodite turned to her father, "Daddy, please?"

Zeus could never say no to his little girl. "All right 'Dite. I'll see what I can do. But first, we have to take care of that other problem. For now, seal Iolaus in a time bubble. He'll be safe there. Xena, thank you for your help. That was kindly done."

Xena was startled by the thanks, but she did have a few manners. "You're welcome." Not sure is she should intrude, Xena continued. "Is there anything I can do to help with your other problem?"

The Gods in attendance held a silent conference. It was Zeus who answered. "Yes, maybe you can." He then proceeded to tell Xena all that had happened and what course of action they planned to take. She was pleased to learn Ares hadn't actually been working for Dahak but was trying to find a way to defeat him. Xena laughed when she heard about Joxer, but it wasn't a cruel laugh. More one of rueful acknowledgment. "I can see that. Now, what do you need from me?"

The Gods and mortal were so wrapped up in their conversation they didn't see the murderous gleam in Hercules' eyes, or the fanatical one in Gabrielle's.

"You're his friend, he needs that right now. He's frightened by all of this, and rightfully so. Dahak is enough to frighten anyone." Zeus replied.

"I haven't been much of a friend, but I'll do what I can." Pointing at Hercules and Gabrielle, Xena asked, "What about them? Could you send them back to where we were camping?"

"Sure Xena." Aphrodite waved an arm. Hercules and Gabrielle vanished in a flash of light. "Cupie and I will take care of Iolaus. Xena, give Joxie a hug from me 'kay? Tell him I'll see him before the ceremony. Later." With that 'Dite and Cupid left Xena alone with Zeus.

"There's something you're not telling me Zeus, what is it?"

"Xena, in order for Joxer to handle all of that power, he needs an anchor. Ares has agreed to take Joxer as his bonded consort to provide that anchor. Will you be able to handle the fact that your father will be married to your friend?"

Xena thought for a moment before replying. "I think they'll be good for each other actually. Joxer needs someone to take care of him and Ares needs someone to care for." Xena smiled slightly, "But I'm not going to call him 'Mom'."

Zeus had the first good laugh he'd had since this whole mess had started. "Come then Granddaughter, let's go see your father and your friend."

Xena looked startled for a moment. The fact that Zeus was her grandfather had never actually crossed her mind. She smiled openly and took the hand held out to her. "Yes, Grandfather, lets." The first thing Joxer saw when he woke up was Ares. Giving the God a small, weak smile, Joxer tried to sit up. Not an easy thing to do with a God hovering over you. Ares moved out of Joxer's way and said the one thing Joxer didn't want to hear. "Joxer, we need to talk."

'Oh yeah,' Joxer thought. 'Hear it comes. If I can get through this without fainting, screaming or running away it'll be a miracle. Might as well get it over with.'

"Okay Ares, what did you want to talk about?" Joxer tried to keep a calm expression on his face. 'Okay, that sounded almost normal. Calm down Joxer, he's not going to kill you here in Zeus' garden. I don't think Zeus would like having blood all over his flowers.'

Unbeknownst to Joxer, Ares could hear every thought going through Joxer's head. His estimation of the young man went up a notch. Most people would have come up with a dozen excuses why they couldn't talk now. Despite his fear, Joxer was determined to get through this.

Ares gave Joxer a serious look, "Joxer, I know I'm not the one you had hoped to spend your life with. And you won't ever have that huge family you've been dreaming of. But I do promise to respect you and try to make this bonding as pleasant as possible for you. It takes a great deal of courage to give up your dreams, but you are performing a great service to mankind and for the Gods of Olympus. I hope that, in some small way, it makes your sacrifice a little more bearable."

Joxer stared up at the God of War. His mind was a total blank. That was not what he'd expected to hear. Joxer looked at the being in front of him suspiciously. He spoke before his mind had a chance to override what his mouth wanted to say. "Who are you? And what did you do with Ares?"

Ares felt a glimmer of irritation. He was trying to be understanding. To make Joxer a little more comfortable with what had to happen. Did the mortal appreciate it? No. The scowl on Ares' face grew darker and darker. "If we didn't need you so badly, I would blast you into next week. How dare you question me? I'm the God of War! I don't have to answer to a foolish little mortal. You aren't a God yet, I'd keep that in mind if I were you."

As Ares' voice got louder and his words more insulting, Joxer's smile got wider and wider. Finally noticing that Joxer was looking at him with an idiotic grin on his face, Ares stopped in mid sentence. "What are you smiling about mortal? Do you think I'm funny?"

Joxer shook his head, "No Ares, I'm just glad it's you. I thought someone was pretending to be you and I didn't know who or why." The smile slowly slid off of Joxer's face. "Did you mean what you said?" Joxer's voice was serious. "Before I mean, I know you were serious when you were calling me an idiot."

Ares sat next to Joxer on the couch, and groaning, put his head in his hands. Joxer patted Ares on the back, "I'm sorry Ares. I know this is hard on you. Being bonded with me and everything. I'll try to stay out of your way and not cause any trouble. Honestly, you'll hardly ever see me. You can just do what you normally do and forget all about me." Without looking at the man beside him, Ares interrupted Joxer. "Joxer, do you know what I mean when I say bonded?"

"Yeah, it means married right? Well, lots of people get married and hardly ever see each other. It's called a marriage of convenience, right?" Joxer laughed awkwardly. "And since we're both men we don't have to worry about sleeping together. I mean, it's not like we can have children. You're just doing this to help me control the Chaos power right? Thanks for that, by the way. I'm sure there are other things you'd rather be doing. You don't even have to tell the women you see about me. I mean, who would believe it anyway? Ares, God of War, married to Joxer the Mighty."

Ares sank lower and lower into the couch. He didn't think he was up to explaining the bond to Joxer. Maybe Aphrodite? No, she'd go into so much detail Joxer would probably going running into the night. Ares groaned again and buried his head in his hands. "I'm getting too old for this shit."

Zeus and Xena arrived in the gardens in time to see Ares slumped on a couch and Joxer obviously trying to calm the God about something. Xena looked at Zeus, Zeus frowned and shook his head. He had no idea what was going on.

Joxer heard someone approaching and looked up to see Xena and Zeus walking towards them. Joxer snatched his hand from Ares muscled back and jumped to his feet. "Uh, Xena, hi. I was just, uh, talking to Ares about something. Nothing important, nothing at all." Xena raised a hand to stop the flood of words coming from Joxer's mouth.

"Joxer, I understand what's going on, it's okay." Looking at the God collapsed in front of her, Xena greeted him quietly. "Hello Father."

Ares head snapped up at her greeting. Looking into her bright blue eyes, he saw no mockery or derision. Just calm acceptance.

"Xena, it's good to see you again." Looking back and forth between Xena and Joxer, Ares came to a decision. "Joxer, would you excuse us for a moment? I need to talk to Xena for a moment."

"Sure Ares, I'll just be over there. I'll go look at the flowers or something."

Ares looked at his father and his daughter with something close to desperation in his dark eyes. Zeus immediately became concerned. "Ares, what's wrong? Did he change his mind?"

Ares laugh had a tinge of hysteria to it. "No Father, he hasn't changed his mind. He just spent the last hour trying to convince me that he won't get in my way and our 'marriage of convenience' can be kept a secret. We wouldn't want to upset any of the women I see."

Zeus just stood there for a moment, "Oh dear. Did you try to explain it to him?"

"How Father? He fainted when he found out he was to be my consort. And he thinks it's in name only. What will he do when he learns about the bond?"

Xena was totally confused by this time. "What is this bond? And why will Joxer be so upset?"

Ares looked at his daughter, then at his father. "I can't do it. You explain it to her. I'll be over there, drinking heavily."

"Ares." Zeus called to him. "Don't drink too much. The bonding ceremony is at midnight. I'll send Cupid to help you get ready." Ares' back stiffened at this information but he didn't say anything. "I'm sorry son, but there's no sense in putting it off. I don't think time will make it any easier." Ares nodded his head, "All right Father. I'll be in my temple. Send Cupid there." Zeus watched his son leave for his temple, then turned to his granddaughter.

"Xena, Ares will take Joxer as his bonded consort. This will 'not' be a marriage in name only. The ceremony will tie the very essence of their beings together. They will basically become one being in two bodies. To cement the bond, and keep it strong and healthy, they must interact on a physical level." At the blank expression on Xena's face, Zeus decided to get blunt. "Sex, Xena. They must have sex, as frequently as possible in the first few days. In fact, they must remain in fairly close physical contact. 'Attached at the hip' is the phrase used, I believe. The bond must be in place and stable before Joxer receives his Godhood. If it isn't, Ares won't be able to anchor him in this reality. Joxer could be lost forever and our only hopes of defeating Dahak with him."

Zeus grew concerned at the expression of pain on Xena's face. "Xena, I'm sorry if the idea of your father and Joxer having sex disturbs you but..." Xena was shaking her head violently. "Well, what's wrong then?" At that, Xena burst into a fit of giggles. Tears rolled from her eyes and she couldn't catch her breath. Zeus glared at her for a second, the corner of his mouth began to twitch. Then he too was laughing. It was a brutal struggle but by very carefully not looking at her grandfather, Xena managed to get herself under control.

"What do you want me to do? I could try to explain it to him if you'd like." Zeus sighed in relief, "Thank you Xena." Zeus materialized a large golden chalice and handed it to her. "Xena, this is ambrosia. Joxer has to drink this before the ceremony tonight. Then in one week's time, we will bestow his Godhood on him." Zeus looked at his granddaughter carefully, "Xena, you may also drink the ambrosia if you choose to do so. I'm sure we could find a place for you. The Goddess of Justice perhaps? I think you would find it suits you."

"Not yet Zeus, maybe someday. I like who I am now. And there is still Gabrielle to think of. I know she has problems, but I do love her. Well, I might as well get this over with. Wish me luck." With that, Xena went to find Joxer.

*****

Xena found Joxer wondering amongst Zeus' roses. They could only be the roses of a God, natural roses didn't usually come in black or all the colors of a sunset in one perfect bloom. And the perfume. Xena thought she could spend a lifetime here and never want to leave.

Joxer heard a small sound of pleasure and turned to find Xena with a wistful smile on her face. "Hi Xena. Aren't these great? I love roses, I wish Gabby could see them. Where is Gabby anyway? I thought she'd be with you."

"I'm sorry Joxer, I had Aphrodite send her and Hercules back to the camp. They still don't believe this is some kind of trick. And since Iolaus is sick, Hercules is not being very reasonable right now." Xena explained.

"Iolaus is sick? What happened? He was fine a couple of hours ago. Maybe we can get one of the Gods to go take a look, I bet they can help."

"They already have Joxer, there's nothing they can do right now. Iolaus and Hercules got into a fight and that's what made him sick. But he'll be okay, they have him sealed in a time bubble until they can get things straightened out. Let's go find some place to sit and talk for a while."

"Okay Xena, how about that bench there by the rainbow roses?"

"Rainbow roses?" Xena asked.

"Yeah. It's all one plant but every flower is a different color of the rainbow. I wonder how Zeus did that? Do you think I could that after I become a God? I think I'd like to have a garden."

"I'm sure you could Joxer. Maybe Zeus would help, he is going to be your father-in-law after all." Xena smiled at the idea of Zeus and Joxer planting roses and coming up with new colors.

"Um, Xena, you don't mind about your father and me do you? I mean, it's not going to be a real marriage or anything. It's only so he can help control the Chaos power. I don't expect you to treat me like a parent or anything. I mean, I'd be honored to have a daughter like you." Joxer's words slowed to a trickle and then stopped completely. He didn't like the way Xena was looking at him. "What's wrong Xena? You look kinda funny."

Xena started to take a drink from the chalice she'd forgotten she was holding and stopped at the last second. Handing it to Joxer she said, "Here Joxer, this is for you. Drink up, you've had a busy day."

Joxer took the chalice and drained it in one gulp. Then the chalice was full again. "Did you see that Xena? It fills itself up. That could come in handy."

Xena laid one hand on Joxer's arm and turned him to face her with the other. "Joxer, I have something I need to tell you. I want you to listen to me carefully okay?"

"Of course Xena, you know I'd do anything for you."

"I know you would Joxer. This marriage between you and my father, it's more than just a marriage. Zeus explained it to me. For Ares to be able to help you, you have to be bonded. Zeus said you'll actually become one person living in two bodies. And it's permanent. If one of you dies, the other will too. You'll feel, see and hear everything the other does. Do you understand what that means?"

Joxer was shaking his head violently. "No. I won't do that. I can't do that to Ares. It's not fair to him. I have trouble living inside of my head, he'd hate it. They'll have to think of something else."

"Joxer, listen to me. There is no other way. If you can't hold the power, Dahak wins. Ares knows what he's getting into. He's not being forced to do this. There are benefits to the bond I don't think you realize yet."

"What could Ares possibly get out of being bonded to me? He's a God and I'm a fool. My family says so, even you and Gabby said so."

Xena cringed when she heard that. "Joxer, I know I haven't always been the friend I should have. But I do care for you and I want you to be happy. I think being bonded to Ares will do that for you. Think of it Joxer. There won't be any doubts or insecurity. You'll know exactly what the other is thinking and feeling. If you're happy, he'll be happy. If you're sad, he'll be there to help. You'll never be alone or lonely again. I'd give anything to have that. I love Gabrielle, but I don't always know what she's thinking or feeling. She could decide she wants a family and leave me for a normal life. The one she deserves. I live everyday knowing that today may be the day one of us dies and I'll be alone again."

Now Joxer was in the position of trying to cheer up his friend. "Xena, Gabrielle loves you more than anything. She'd never leave you. But if you both agree, maybe Zeus can perform the bonding ceremony for you too. Then you'll be together forever, you will be anyway, but if it makes you feel better I bet he'd do it. I mean, he is your Grandfather, right?"

Xena gave Joxer a hug. "Thank you Joxer, but you're right. I don't need any bond other than the one we already have. You, however, need this bond. And for more than one reason. Joxer, for the bond to work, you need to be physically close. Very close, for at least the first week or so. And that closeness has to be renewed periodically for the bond to stay healthy. Do you understand?"

Joxer shook his head, "What do you mean by physically close? Like in the same room?"

"More like in the same bed Joxer."

"I have to sleep with him? What if he wants to, you know, have a good time? Won't I be in the way?" Joxer wasn't sure why, but he didn't really want to hear what Xena had to say.

"Joxer, the only one Ares is going to be having 'a good time' with is you." Xena held the chalice to Joxer's lips when she saw him go white. "I know you weren't expecting this, but that's the way the bond works."

Joxer drained the chalice once again, his voice, when he spoke was barely a whisper. "I can't Xena. I mean, he's a God."

"It'll be okay Joxer, you'll be a God by then too."

"I know that Xena, that's the problem. I'll be a God, not a Goddess. I can't do that with a man. Can I?" The look on Joxer's face made Xena want to cry. Part fear, part desperation.

"Joxer, think for a minute. Hercules and Iolaus are together. Don't you think they have sex?"

Joxer winced. "I really don't think about that Xena. It's none of my business. But my father said it was wrong and an insult to the God's. That's why Jace left."

"Joxer, if it was an insult to the God's, why would Ares say yes to you being his consort? Even Zeus wants you two to be together. I think your father was talking about his own feelings. Does what he thinks really matter to you now?" Xena was out of her depth, explaining sex between men wasn't really anything she knew a lot about. "Maybe we could go talk to Cupid? I'm sure he'll be able to answer all of your questions. He won't laugh or make fun. It's kind of his job. And he'll be your step-son, just like I'll be your step-daughter."

Joxer's face turned a deep red and he groaned pitifully. "What's wrong? Do you feel ill?" Xena was worried, she didn't know exactly how much Joxer's face turned a deep red and he groaned pitifully. "What's wrong? Do you feel ill?" Xena was worried, she didn't know exactly how much ambrosia Joxer had drank, but it was a lot. It wouldn't be good for him to be sick during the ceremony.

"Xena, you want me to ask my soon-to-be step-son about sex. Of course I feel ill. I'll die of embarrassment. Even if he doesn't laugh at me."

"Oh, I didn't think of that. Well, how about Aphrodite?" Xena almost burst into giggles again at the look that comment brought to his face.

"That's what Ares was trying to talk to me about earlier isn't it? Maybe I should go finish that conversation. At least I'll have some idea of what he's trying to say this time. Do you know where he went?"

"He said he was going to his temple. I'm sure he's still there. Want me to get Zeus to send you over?"

"That'd probably be a good idea, I'd hate to get lost on Mount Olympus."

*****

They found Zeus on the other side of the garden, still talking to The Fates. "Ah Joxer and Xena. Did you get everything straightened out?" Zeus looked hopefully between the two, on seeing matching smiles he nodded happily. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"Zeus, could you send me over to Ares' temple? I think we need to finish the talk we were having earlier." Joxer looked oddly calm at this point. He'd had so many shocks in one day his mind was numb, or so he thought.

"Certainly Joxer. I'll send Cupid over later to help you both get ready for the bonding ceremony."

"That's today? I thought those things had to be planned or something." Joxer's heart was racing and he could barely catch his breath. This was all happening way too fast.

Zeus seemed to understand this and tried to reassure the young man, or rather the young God. He had definitely changed. Zeus decided not to tell him that yet though. "It's at midnight. There will only be me, The Fates, Hera, Cupid and Aphrodite. And you and Ares of course. Xena, of course, can come if you'd like. We didn't think you'd want a lot of people here. The ones who are coming are necessary to complete the ritual."

"I'd like Xena to be there. If you want to come Xena. I'd like you to stand with me."

"I wouldn't miss it for anything Joxer. I'd be honored to stand with you."

"All right, well, I guess I'll see you there. Zeus, I'm ready to go see Ares now." Joxer vanished in a shower of light.

Xena looked at her Grandfather. "That was not fun Zeus. He's very confused. His father told him that two men together were an insult to the Gods."

Zeus looked incredibly angry at this. "Oh did he now? I do believe he and I should have a little talk about who decides things for the Gods. But later. Of course, Ares might want to take care of that himself." Xena and Zeus shared a look and burst into laughter again at the thought of Ares talking to his father-in-law. Xena managed to get out a few words between snickers. "Can I watch?"

Zeus nodded happily. "I'll take you myself. Now let's go get ready for a wedding. Would you like some new clothes or would you rather wear your armor?"

Xena tucked her arm into her Grandfather's. "Let's talk about that. And presents. We have to get them presents. I have a wonderful idea about what to get Joxer."

*****

Joxer staggered a little when he arrived at Ares' temple. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that."

"Get used to what?"

Joxer spun around and saw Ares sprawled across his throne. "Oh. Hi Ares. I don't think I'll get used to just popping into places. I mean, what if I pop into something. Like a fire or a piece of furniture. Oh Gods, what if I pop into a person? How would I get out? Would they know I was there? Would it hurt them? I'm sure it would. I wouldn't want anyone popping into me." Joxer stopped suddenly. "I'm babbling, aren't I? Sorry, I do that when I get nervous."

Ares laughed a little. "I noticed. Exactly why are you nervous?" Joxer did a fairly credible imitation of what Ares liked to call 'Dite's 'Duh' look. "I'm guessing Xena spoke to you."

Joxer turned red, again. "Yeah, she did. I'm sorry I didn't realize what you were trying to say before. I just never expected that we would have to do 'that'."

Ares pulled his legs off the arm of his throne and put his feet back on the floor. He leaned against the back and looked at his soon-to-be consort from under lowered lids. "By 'that', I'm assuming you mean sex. I had no idea you found me so repulsive."

"Oh no, not at all. But I am. I mean, nobody wants to get that close to me. Why should you? Besides, mumble."

"What did you say Joxer? I couldn't quite make that out." Ares knew exactly what Joxer had said, but he needed to buy himself a little time. He'd never been with a virgin before. The thought of teaching Joxer what pleased him and learning what pleased Joxer made Ares blood heat. He felt possessive of the young God. The fact no one had ever been with Joxer before, and never have the chance now, filled him with an odd sort of pride. Joxer was his, and Ares didn't like to share.

Joxer stared at his feet, anywhere but at the God sitting in front of him. "I said, I've never done that before. Had sex I mean. I got close once, but her father came home and beat me up when he found me there. I don't know what to do and I don't want to disappoint you. It's bad enough you're being stuck with me, I don't want you to hate me too."

Ares rose from his throne and crossed to Joxer. Raising his head with one hand, Ares looked into those miserable eyes. "Is that what you think? I'm not going to be 'stuck' with you. We'll be bonded, there is a difference. And anything you don't know, I'll be happy teach you. Once the bond is in place it'll be easy. You'll know what I'm thinking and feeling. And I'll be able to do the same."

"But what if I can't? I've never even thought about it before." Joxer really wanted to cry, but he didn't think Ares would appreciate it. In a small voice, "Will it hurt?"

"I'll do everything I can to make sure it doesn't. Besides, what hurts you, hurts me. We may not be in love with each other, but a lot of marriages start out with less than what we'll have."

"What do we have? We don't know each other at all and we don't have anything in common." Joxer was convinced by this time that anyone, besides himself, would be a better choice.

"We're both Gods, and we both want to stop Dahak. You've prayed to me your entire life, I do know quite a bit about you. And we have all the time in the world to get to know each other."

Joxer tuned out what Ares was saying. He was stuck on one thing. "I'm not a God yet Ares. When do I have to do that?"

"Didn't Zeus tell you?" Ares sent a small ungrateful thought to his father.

"All he said was the bonding ceremony was tonight and Xena could come if she wanted."

"Joxer, did you have anything to drink today?"

"Yeah, Xena had this gold cup that kept filling itself up. Why? Are you thirsty?"

Ares sighed, he wasn't really cut out for this. "Joxer, that gold cup was my father's. It refills itself with ambrosia. From the glow, I'd say you had quite a bit." Joxer looked around the room, "What glow? I don't see any glow." What Ares had said finally started to sink in. "Ambrosia? I drank ambrosia?"

Ares pushed Joxer over to his throne and sat him down in it. He didn't want to have to pick him up if he decided to pass out again. "Yes, you drank ambrosia. You don't have your Godhood yet, but you are a God now Joxer."

"Are you sure? I don't feel any different. Maybe it didn't work on me." Joxer didn't know whether to be happy or disappointed.

Ares materialized large mirror in front of the throne. "Look."

Joxer looked into the mirror. "Oh. 'That' glow. Um, will that go away? I don't think I want to be lit up like a candle all the time. It'll make it hard to sleep."

Ares had to laugh. "Yes, it will fade. Once you learn a little control, you'll be able to turn it on and off as you choose."

"What else will I be able to do?"

"I'm not sure Joxer. It depends on how much power you have, and most of your power will go into the power sink here on Olympus. But I can loan you enough power to do almost anything. Is there something you'd like to do?"

"Well, I know you'll think it's stupid, but I'd really like to have a garden like Zeus has. Especially the roses. I liked those." The smile on Joxer's face was full of delighted innocence at the memory of that garden.

Ares looked at him in surprised wonder. "You really are different aren't you? Most would want to punish their enemies, make a temple or surround themselves with riches."

"I don't have any enemies Ares and I don't need a temple. Do I? I mean, I'm going to live here with you aren't I?" Joxer gazed up at Ares worriedly. He hadn't had a real home in years, if ever. He was surprised by how badly he wanted one now.

"Yes, you'll be living here. If you want a place for yourself later, we'll build you one. It's almost time for the ceremony. Cupid will be here soon." Ares looked closely at the young God in front of him and made a decision. "There is one thing I think we should do before he gets here." Ares pulled Joxer from the throne into his arms.

Joxer looked up at him, eyes wide. "What's that?"

Ares left one arm wrapped around Joxer's waist and wrapped the other hand in his hair. "Just this."

Ares started slowly. Just barely touching Joxer's lips. Soft, easy kisses, meant to entice. Joxer didn't participate, but he did tilt his head to give Ares more access.

Soon, gentle kisses gave way to deeper, longer contact. When Ares felt Joxer move a little closer, he increased the pace. Flicking the tip of his tongue against Joxer's lips, he demanded a response.

Joxer groaned at the sensation. He'd never kissed much and definitely never like this. His head spinning, he grabbed a hold of Ares' vest to keep himself upright. He tried to gasp for air and felt Ares tongue slip past his teeth. Forgetting everything except the feelings coursing through his body, Joxer began to actively participate.

Soon the two Gods were gasping and straining, trying to get closer. Tongues tangling while their breath mingled together in each others mouths. Neither noticed Cupid's arrival or his sudden departure. The sound of knocking at the main door finally penetrated the daze they were in and they broke apart.

Still breathing heavily, Ares rested his forehead against Joxer's, petting the young God's hair in an effort to calm him. "Joxer, are you all right?" A quick nod was his only answer. He tried to step back, but Joxer had a death grip on his vest. "Joxer, that's Cupid. We need to get ready for the ceremony."

Taking a deep breath, Joxer slowly eased his grip and raised his eyes to Ares'. "Ares, that was, I've never," Joxer shook his head, unable to voice what he was feeling.

"I understand Joxer. I told you we'd get along well." Joxer gave Ares a wide smile. "Ready?"

Joxer felt calm for the first time that day. "Yes, I'm ready. You better go let him in before he thinks we ran away or something."

Ares laughed and moved to release Joxer. Before he could get far, Joxer raised up and gave Ares a quick kiss. "Thank you."

Ares didn't need to ask for what, he simply smiled and returned the kiss.

*****

Hercules landed heavily in the middle of the dead fire pit at their old campsite. All of the air left his lungs in a loud rush when Gabrielle, still bound and gagged, landed on top of him. It took some maneuvering, but he finally managed to get them both on their feet. It took less then a second for him to break the leather ties binding Gabrielle's hands behind her back. While he removed the leather gag preventing the bard from speaking what was obviously on her mind, Gabrielle tried to rub some feeling back into her numb fingers.

Once the gag was gone, the venom spewed forth. "What in Tartarus was Xena thinking? Not only did she threaten to gag me, she let Cupid go ahead and do it! She had us sent away! And she's helping them!"

Hercules tried to calm the young woman down, they had a lot to do and he needed her help. "Gabrielle, the Gods can cloud a person's mind. It's not her fault. Any more than it's Iolaus'. Once a person has been touched by the Gods, it's easier for them to be controlled. We're on our own. Will you help me?"

"Of course I will, but what are we going to do? They're on Olympus and we're down here." Gabrielle was still furious, but Xena no longer bore the brunt of it. "You know Hercules, this is all Joxer's fault. If he hadn't said he'd go with Ares we'd all be getting ready to have breakfast about now. Instead, we're separated from our lovers and Joxer is about to become a God. We can't let that happen. No matter what the price, we have to stop him from becoming a God. And why would they want a God of Chaos anyway? Isn't there enough trouble in the world?"

"Not enough for the Gods. The more mortals suffer, the more they pray and the bigger offerings they leave at the temples. Did you ever wonder why the Gods want offerings? They don't need them, they can make anything they desire with a wave of a hand. No, offerings are just a way to keep score. Mortals are merely the pieces in a game the Gods play to amuse themselves." Hercules paced for a moment, deep in thought.

"Gabrielle, how far are you willing to go to stop this from happening?"

"As far as I need to."

"Are you willing to kill?"

"Kill Joxer? If necessary."

"What about Xena? She'll try to stop us."

A fanatical light burned in the bard's eyes. "Joxer becoming a God is a perversion of everything good in the world. It can't be allowed to happen. I know Xena and I will be welcome in the Light, Eli is there waiting for us. And we'll be together forever." The pleased look on her face slowly faded into a frown. "Hercules, what about Iolaus?"

Hercules' smile was brilliant. "When I proved to the Light that mankind was worth saving, Iolaus was my reward. Michael promised me that I'd never be lonely again. Whatever happens, I know Iolaus will be right beside me. We just have to break the hold the God's have on him."

Gabrielle still had doubts, "How are we going to get to Olympus? And if we can't stop Joxer's ascension, how will we kill him? Gods are immortal."

The smirk on Hercules' face would have done Ares proud. "My father left a gateway to Olympus open for me in his temple in Thrace. And killing a God is easier than you think. All of the God's have a physical symbol of their Godhood, like Ares' sword or my father's lightening bolts. If we take his symbol from him he'll be weakened. Still hard to kill, but not impossible. And there's always the blood of a Golden Hind."

"I thought the last of the Hind's disappeared when your wi..."

; "It's okay, Gabrielle, I'm over it now. But it just so happens I know where there's a dagger with Hind's blood all over it." Patting her on the shoulder, Hercules reassured her. "Don't worry Gabrielle, we'll make it right."

*****

Cupid followed Ares into his temple, the urge to comment on the length of time it took to admit him in was incredible, but Cupid restrained himself. Ares in a bad mood at his own bonding ceremony didn't bear thinking about.

Joxer was still standing where Ares had left him. Moving would have taken more brain power than he currently possessed. His mind, while still trying to wrap itself around the idea of being 'with' Ares, had been totally blown away by that kiss.

Cupid, after seeing the state Joxer was in, made what he thought was a reasonable suggestion. "Dad, why don't I take Joxer over to my place so he can have a bath and something to eat before the ceremony." Cupid made an expression of disgust at what Joxer was wearing. "And he needs some new clothes."

Ares turned a black look on his son. "No. You want to help? Fine. But Joxer stays here. If you have a problem with that, you can leave."

"Chill Dad. You want to stay here, we stay here. Now, do you guys want help or not?"

Joxer smiled at Cupid, "I'm not really hungry, but I am kind of dirty. Is there somewhere I can take a bath Ares?"

Ares nodded and pointed out a door Joxer hadn't noticed before. "Go right through there Joxer. The bath is always ready to use." At Joxer's confused expression, Cupid explained, "It's a God thing."

"Oh, okay. Um, Ares? Are you coming?" Joxer asked nervously. He really liked that kiss but he didn't think he was ready to be in a tub with Ares, naked. Joxer could feel the blush creeping up over his cheek bones.

"Go ahead Joxer. I need to talk to Cupid for a minute."

; Joxer nodded and headed into the other room. Ares stepped up to his son and spoke quietly. "Cupid, I want you to do exactly as I say. Stay here with Joxer, feed him, bathe him, tell him stories if you have to, but keep him occupied. After I leave, seal the temple. Let no one in, even me. Just at midnight, take Joxer to the Halls of War. We'll be having the ceremony there."

Cupid was totally confused at this point, "Uh Dad, I know people getting married for the first time tend to get a little nervous, but isn't this going too far? Why would I seal you out of your own temple? And why would you want to get married in the Halls of War? I thought the ceremony was going to be in Zeus' garden."

Ares grabbed Cupid by the arms and shook him lightly. "We don't have a lot of time, shut up and listen. Dahak can appear to be anyone. You'd never be able to tell the difference until it was too late. But even he would have trouble breaking through a seal without attracting notice. I made the seals around the Halls of War, they're the strongest on Olympus, but he might be strong enough to break through them. If he's that desperate, attracting notice will be the last thing he's worried about. Once you get to the Halls of War, find Xena. I want to two of you on guard at all times. If anyone tries to get in, kill them. God or mortal, I don't care. This would be the perfect time for him to strike. He has to know we're up to something by now, and I've got a very bad feeling about this."

Ares released his son and looked at him seriously. "I know you're the God of Love, but you're still my son too. Wear the armor and sword I had made for you. You and Xena are the only ones I trust to protect him, but I expect you to come out of this alive. Do you understand me? If you get yourself killed, I'll rip your wings off one feather at a time." With those final words, Ares vanished.

"Yeah, Dad. I love you too." Still smiling, Cupid went to help Joxer.

*****

Joxer was up to his neck in hot water once again, but this time, he had bubbles. Mountains of them, and they smelled good. Spicy and warm. In fact, they smelled like Ares.

Joxer gazed contently around the room. Now this was the way to live. Dark green marble with inlaid alabaster fixtures. The tub he was relaxing in was the biggest he'd ever seen. Joxer closed his eyes with a sigh and rested his head on the curved edge.

He was dozing, almost asleep. when the sound of laughter forced him to open his eyes.

Cupid was expecting Joxer to be a nervous wreck, but instead found him lazing about in Ares' over sized marble tub. The look of complete decadence on Joxer's face made him laugh out loud. When Joxer managed to gaze up at him with sleepy eyes Cupid had to ask, "I'm guessing you like the tub?"

Joxer shook his head no. "This isn't a tub Cupid, it's a small ocean, with bubbles. I think I'll just live in here." Joxer looked up at Cupid with serious expression on his face. "Cupid, do you think Ares will be hurt when he finds out I married him for his bathroom?"

Cupid managed to sit down before he fell. Wiping the tears from his eyes caused by hysterical laughter, he finally managed to get himself under control. "Come on, God of the Ocean of Bubbles. You need to get out of there before you shrivel up. And here I thought you would be nervous and I'd have to calm you down."

Joxer's smile resembled a grimace more than an expression of happiness. "I'm not nervous Cupid, I'm terrified. But if I joke about it I won't go into screaming fits, or pass out again. I hope."

Cupid tried to reassure the newest God. "There's no reason to be scared Joxer. My father may be the God of War, but he won't hurt you. Of course he'd never admit it, but he's nervous too. He's never been married before either."

"It's not just that Cupid. Yesterday I was just a mortal. Hoping that one day I'd be married and have a family. Preferably with Gabrielle. And today I'm a God, getting married to another God. My life as I knew it is over. Not that my old life was anything to brag about, but at least I knew what to expect. Now I'm totally in the dark about how to act and what I'm supposed to do. It's a little too much to handle in one day."

Cupid grabbed a thick towel from the shelf and went to help Joxer out of the tub. "I wish I could make this easier on you, but I can't. I will try to answer any questions you have if that would help at all."

Joxer wrapped the towel around himself and took another to dry his hair. "Thank you Cupid, I would like to know what's going to happen at the ceremony tonight. Do I have to say anything? Or is there a ritual I have to perform?"

Cupid had Joxer sit in front of him on the floor. Pulling a brush out of the air, he began to work out the tangles in the dark hair. "Let's see. You don't have to make a speech or anything. Zeus will ask you a couple of questions, you know, are you doing this of your own will, stuff like that. The actual ritual is pretty simple. You and Ares face each other and clasp the other's left arm at the elbow. Zeus will place a dagger between your arms and as he speaks the bonding spell, he'll turn the dagger sideways and pull it out. It won't hurt, just sting a little. Yours and Ares' blood will mix and the bond will begin to form."

Cupid felt Joxer stiffen beneath his hands. "Joxer, did anyone explain to you about sealing the bond? And how to keep it active?"

Joxer nodded sharply. "Yeah, they had Xena do it. Ares tried, but I didn't understand what he was telling me. The more upset he got, the more I tried to convince him that since it was just going to be a marriage of convenience, I wouldn't get in his way."

Cupid's hands kept busy brushing while his mind tried to come up with a delicate way to state his question. Not able to find one, he decided blunt was the only option. "Joxer, have you ever been with a man before?"

Joxer's posture now resembled the marble he'd so admired earlier. Then he just slumped. "No, I haven't. My father always told us that two men being together that way was an insult to the Gods. I'd never even kissed a man before today." Joxer suddenly laughed. "Boy, is my father going to be surprised when he finds out about this."

"Well, you like having sex with women right?"

If Joxer could have found a hole big enough to crawl into, he would have. For a second he thought about drowning himself in that huge tub, then he remembered that he was immortal now so drowning was out of the question. Might as well get it over with. "I've never had sex, with a man or a woman."

Cupid was stunned, but managed to keep his thoughts to himself. "Oh. Well, if you're with a partner that cares about you, being with a man can be wonderful. The best way to describe it I guess would be, intense. And since the bond will be forming, you'll feel everything Ares' feels. I know it's scary, but I think you'll find that it's worth it." Cupid suddenly realized the hair he was brushing had long since dried. Looking at it carefully, he asked, "Joxer, would you mind if I did something with your hair?"

Joxer just shrugged, his hair was the least of his problems. "Go ahead. As long as you don't shave my head I don't care what you with it."

Cupid ran his hand through the thick strands, the hair grew longer as he did. Stopping to check his work, he made the back a little longer. "That's better. Want to see?"

Joxer shook his head no, and was surprised when he felt his hair brush his shoulders. "I guess I would like to see. I've never had long hair."

Cupid handed him a mirror and sat back with a smile. "Damn, I'm good. You look great Joxer. Now what would you like to wear for the ceremony?"

Joxer stared into the mirror in disbelief, he didn't look like himself at all. His hair was down on his forehead, but short on the top and sides. The back now reached down between his shoulder blades. Holding one hank of hair out to the side, Joxer asked his new barber, "Uh, don't you think this is a little long?"

"No way, it looks great. Now for the clothes. I'm guessing you don't want to go the black leather route. Dressing you up to match Dad would be funny, but lets see if we can find something that suits you. Come on, let's go into the other room. There's a huge mirror in there and you'll want to see what you look like."

"Cupid, I don't really care what I wear. As long as it's clean and not full of holes that's all that matters. No one is going to be looking at my clothes."

"Sure they will, besides, you want to impress Dad don't you?"

; Joxer was trying to breathe, but he was laughing to hard. "Cupid, Ares cares less about what I'm wearing than I do."

"Fine, do it for me then. I don't want people to say my new father is a slob."

Joxer studied the face in front of him, waiting for a reaction. "Cupid, you aren't upset about this are you? I mean, I'm sure you weren't planning on Ares getting married."

Cupid just smiled, "Joxer, I know I look younger than you, but I'm almost a thousand years old. I don't get jealous about sharing Dad anymore. Besides, I think it's good he's not going to be alone anymore. He's was getting cranky."

"Getting? If he's not cranky now, what is he?"

"Out of sorts? Believe me, you don't want to see him in a bad mood. The last time that happened Mount Vesuvius erupted. For three weeks straight."

Cupid got a distant look on his face for a moment. "We have to hurry, that was Mom. The ceremony is in fifteen minutes. Let's see, black, no. Brown? Boring. White? Too many jokes. How about this."

Joxer found himself dressed with a wave of Cupid's hand. Tight, brushed suede trousers, that were as soft as they looked and a matching Chin silk shirt. The shirt had a standing collar, but was open to just below the hollow in his throat. The sleeves were short and hung barely below his shoulders, leaving his forearms bare. Knee high boots a shade darker than the rest completed the outfit. "Wow, thanks Cupid. This is great, but why grey?"

"It's halfway between dark and light isn't it? It seemed appropriate. Are you ready? It's time to go." ;Yes, I'm ready. Cupid?"

"Yeah Joxer."

"If I pass out, prop me up okay?"

Cupid laid his hand on Joxer's shoulder. "Don't worry. If you pass out, we'll just finish the ceremony without you."

"Oh good. I feel so much better now."

With a laugh, Cupid took them to the Halls of War.

*****

Ares found Zeus and Xena still wondering in the garden. They were arguing about what would be best to use as a symbol of Joxer's godhood. Ares rudely interrupted them. "Worry about that later. We have to keep him alive first."

Zeus looked stunned. "What do you mean Ares? Is something wrong with Joxer?"

; "He's fine for now. I left him with Cupid at my temple. But this would be the perfect time for Dahak to attack. I want the ceremony held in the Halls of War, it's too open here. And Xena, I want you and Cupid to be on guard until Joxer and I leave."

"I think you and Joxer should stay here on Olympus Ares. You'll be too vulnerable anywhere else. At least here, the rest of us can protect you."

"No Father, Dahak will expect that. As soon as the ceremony is complete I want you to send us to my temple. My first temple. Do you remember which one I'm talking about?"

"Of course I do Ares. It's perfect. No one would ever look for you there."

; Xena was worried, Ares never avoided a fight, not even one with Dahak. "Why do you need to hide Ares? That isn't like you."

Ares looked almost amused. "You're going to love this Xena. The bonding ceremony will make us almost mortal for at least a day."

"What do you mean 'almost' mortal?" Xena asked.

"We'll still be Gods, but all of our powers will be going into the bond. We'll be stuck in mortal form until the link between us is set. We won't even be able to call for help."

"Then Zeus is right Ares. You should both stay here. We'll be able to guard you until your powers start working again."

"No Xena, if Dahak does decide to attack, you'd die. And none of the other Gods are strong enough to stand against him for long. Joxer and I would be nothing more than sitting ducks."

Zeus laid his hand on his son's shoulder. "We'll do as you say Ares, you know best in this situation. Now it's time for the ceremony."

Ares drew a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. With a thought, he was clean and dressed in his favorite set of black leathers. "One last thing before we go." Ares passed his hand in front of Xena and she was dressed in new armor. A silver chest plate with matching arm guards covered her upper body. Tight leather pants were tucked into matching boots which were faced with silver greaves. Her chakram hung on a wide belt and her sword was slung over her shoulder.

Xena looked at her new finery. "Nice. Do I get to keep it?"

"Of course, I had Hephestus make it for you years ago. Cupid has a matching set. It'll take a lot to get through that armor, but don't under-estimate Dahak."

"Don't worry Ares, I never do."

*****

>Zeus and Ares waited in the main room of the Halls of War for Joxer and Cupid to arrive. Pleasantly surprised by the transformation, Ares smiled at Joxer when he reached his side. In a whisper, "I like the hair."

Joxer turned bright red, but Ares could tell he was pleased by the comment.

; Zeus cleared his throat and both men turned their attention to him.

; "Children, we are here to witness the bonding of these two Gods. This is not undertaken lightly. Are there any who would deny their right to the bond?" Zeus gazed sternly at the few in attendance, none even blinked.

Zeus turned first to Joxer, "Joxer, God of Olympus, do you stand before us this day of your own will?" Joxer's voice was solemn as he replied. "I do."

"Ares, God of War, do you stand before us this day of your own will."

"I do."

"Again, do you both desire this bond of your own will?"

The two men looked at each other and then back at Zeus. "We do."

Zeus nodded at Ares and Joxer. They turned to face each other and clasped each other's left arm. "Very well, let it begin." Zeus slid the flat edge of a silver dagger between their arms, holding it tightly in his right hand. He and the other Gods present then spoke the words that would bond the two for all time.

Blood calls to blood
and bone to bone
Where stood the two
Now stands the one
Power to power
By their will alone
Forever joined
Never to be undone.

With the final word, Zeus turned the dagger and pulled it straight up. As it sliced through their skin they both gasped, but not in pain. They both felt weakened but energized at the same time. Their heads turned as one to look at Zeus. Zeus smiled at them both. "Be well children. We will see you soon." In a flash of golden light, Ares and Joxer disappeared. Zeus looked out at the others. "Now we wait. I want all work on the power sink completed as soon as possible. Xena, would you mind staying here on Olympus until they return? We may need your expertise in the event Dahak decides to move." Xena inclined her head to show her agreement. "Very well, we all have tasks to perform. I'll expect news of your progress."

As the others left, Xena crossed to Zeus' side. "Will they be all right Grandfather?"

"Only time will tell Xena. Only time will tell."

TBC...