Dearest Nuriko...

No.

Dear Nuriko...

No.

Nuriko-kun...

No.

Frustrated, I finally just started it with “Nuriko.” He would understand.

The words came onto the paper quickly, a waterfall of written emotion. I told him everything, all my reasons for what I had done, what I felt now, and what I wanted of him. I told him I was asking, not commanding. I told him I was asking as a person, not an emperor.

I asked him if he would marry me when he came back from getting the shinzahou.

I told him my fear and my hopes, my dreams and my nightmares, everything I had longed to tell him for so long. I prayed that he still wanted to hear the words from me, from the man who had ignored his heart and most likely broken it.

It took me hours. The sun had been high in the sky when I had begun, but it was dark by the time my pen finally lifted off the paper from signing my name at the end. I did not even read it through. I could not. If I had, I think I would have thrown it out. I was afraid. I was terrified that he would say no. Opening myself up like this did not happen often. I had already been rejected once, by Miaka. That had hurt, but it would be nowhere near the pain that I would be in if he said no to me now.

Taking a deep breath, I sealed it and pressed my name against the hot wax, declaring to everyone who this letter was from. I prayed that no one would find it but him.

I stepped away from my desk and out of my room, into the hall. I would bring it to him myself. That way it would surely get to him. And no one else would read it.

I reached his door, raising my hand to knock gently on it, praying he was there.

And he was, for the door opened, and hazel eyes looked up at me and he smiled.
 

Nuriko,

Please consider my words carefully. I do not intend to force you into anything you do not wish to do. But I would like to explain myself to you as best as I can.

You have told me before that you love me. I am hoping that this is still true.

When you come back from finding the shinzahou, I would like to make you my empress, if that is what you want. Because no matter how hard I try to hide it from myself, I love you...
 
 

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