Pinoy Jokes     


Bakit mas malakas umutot ang lalaki sa babae?
Dahil may mike sila sa harap!

E, bakit may echo kung umutot ang babae?
Kasi malapit sa kuweba!

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What's the difference between corruption in the US
and corruption in the Philippines?

In the US, they go to jail.
In the Philippines, they go to the US.

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Q: Is Winnie the Pooh a girl or a boy?
A: A girl; kasi kung boy eh di sana Winnie The Teeh!

Q: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng ulap sa panty?
A: Pag hinawi mo ang ulap....blue sky.
Pag hinawi mo ang panty....WOW, Heaven!!!!

Q: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng talong sa kalabasa?
A: Ang kalabasa - pampalinaw ng mata.
   Ang talong - pampatirik ng mata!

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A girl from an exclusive school was asked:
Q: What's the difference between a penis and a
   kamote?
A: Yuck!!! I don't eat kamote!

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Two langaws on a piece of shit....
Langaw 1: Pare, nauutot ako.
Langaw 2: Pare, wala namang ganyanan, kumakain
          tayo!!!

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Q: Why is breastmilk still best for babies?
A: It's fresh; contains antibodies for protection
   against infections and it comes in a very attractive container!

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Q: How much calcium is in a woman's breast?
A: Enough to make a bone grow big and hard!

Q: How are a woman and a frying pan similar?
A: You have to get them hot before you put the meat in.

Q: Ano'ng similarity ng sperm at mayonnaise?
A: Pareho silang galing itlog at parehong Ladies' Choice.

Q: Ano ang Filipino translation ng sex?
   Clue: Starts with the letter K...naisip mo na?
   Come on you can do it......
   The answer is...kasarian. Dirty mind, ha!

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Chinese: I have 4 wives, 1 more and I have a
         basketball team.
American: I have 9 wives, 1 more I have a football
          team.
Pinoy: I have 17 wives, 1 more I have a golf
       course - 18 holes.

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Guy goes to a dentist's office, sits down in the
chair,  and takes out his dick.
Dentist: What are you doing?
Guy: Doc, there's a tooth in there!

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In a restaurant, a man meets a lovely waitress.
Man: What is your name?
Waitress: Omega, sir.
Man: Beautiful name.  How are you related to
     Omega  watch?
Waitress: Same price, sir - but different movement!

In a rape case, a lady was asked by the lawyer,
Did you scream for help?"
Lady: Yes, sir!
Lawyer: Did anyone come?
Lady: Yes, sir; first he did, then I did!

Grabe talaga ang mga Bisaya; mahirap intindihin...
Sa kanila ang malambot - SUP; ang sabaw - SUP; ang
sabon - SUP pa  rin!!!

Bisayang masahista: Unsa man, sir, sop or modirit?
Sir: Anong sop or modirit?
Masahista: Sopsopan pa, sir, o modiritso na?