When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex; he said he would like one too.
Then I said, "but this is a dog."
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "you don't understand: I have had Sex since I was nine years old."
He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex.
I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away and a contestant asked me why I was standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets.
"But you don't understand," I said. "I hoped to have Sex on TV."
He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."
The judge said, "Me too."
Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me.
He said, "Me too."