Witnesses said that the student, whose identity was not revealed, spent the whole morning exchanging text messages with his seatmates using his brand-new Globe cellphone, instead of participating in class discussions. "He even skipped lunch because of text," one of his "textmates," who refused to be identified, said.

At around 2 PM, the student suddenly fell out of his seat and convulsed on the floor. His fellow Lasallites rushed him to the Philippine Veterinary Hospital, where he was transferred to the Manila General Hospital. The student was declared brain-dead at 8 PM, 6 hours after he collapsed in the classroom. Fortunately, the cellphone suffered only minor damage, despite bouncing on the floor several times.

Initial investigations show that the culprit in this incident is the microwave radiation emitted by the cellphone. Dr. Gonzales, the resident neurosurgeon at the MGH, explained that "radiation can kill body cells. Most cells can regenerate, but brain cells cannot. Normally. that's no big deal, because we have billions of reserve brain cells. However, being a Lasallite, the victim has only a small number of brain cells, and the radiation from the cellphone killed them all."

He hastened to add that "there is no cause for public alarm. This is an isolated incident that will probably never happen anywhere outside the DLSU campus. Although text messaging is a waste of precious time, it is rarely fatal. As in everything else, moderation is the key. Remember, too much sex, ehe, text could be bad for you."

As of press time, doctors are debating on whether to take the young Lasallite off the respirator.