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When In Rome
Chapter 2

Excuse me seignior!" said a voice, making the cart driver spin around in surprise. "Pardon me, I did not mean to startle you. I am looking for these two fugitives on the run. They are highly wanted in Spain. Have you, by any chance, seen them?" The man held up a wanted poster of Tulio and Miguel to the driver's face, who was still quite shaken from the man's mysterious and somewhat terrifying presence.

"S-Si seignior! I drove them to Rome about two weeks ago. But that's all I know! I swear!" the driver squeaked.

"Thank you for your time and patience, my good man." The man shook the driver's hand hard and jerkily, almost breaking the poor guy's arm in half. Within half a second, the driver whipped the reins sharply, and he and his donkey sped off out of the stranger's sight.

This man was once known as Diego Onofre, this man did not go by his birth name, but by his nickname, which you will soon learn why. He was once a very holy man, but an accident in his youth changed him. Physically and mentally. He was then known as El Sancho Feo, or The Ugly Saint, and he was the most infamous bounty hunter in all of Europe. Thieves, ruffians, and even murderers feared him. As did the rest of the public. But even though he was feared, he was the best at capturing bandits. Dead or alive. But mostly, in his case, he liked them dead.

Now he was enlisted to capture these two hoodlums because the captain of the guards was so desperate to get them out of his hair and punished for their crimes. At first he wasn't interested to do it, saying he was too good to be capturing petty thieves. That was when he heard that the two of them were lovers.

"Two grownup men sleeping with each other?" he growled, making the captain shiver in his armor. "Hmm.. That's is a very unforgivable sin in the Lord's eyes.. I shall do it then, not just for the money. But for humanity's sake." And so he set off on his journey. That was four weeks ago. Now he had just entered the streets of Rome, looking for Tulio and Miguel.

-------------

"What the hell is this stuff?" Tulio said, poking at a very strange looking piece of meat. He and Miguel were sitting on the patio of a small café, and were not too happy about what they were served.

"That is our Haggis Sausage, seignior." replied the waiter, impatiently waiting to be paid for his service.

"Um. What exactly is in Haggis Sausage?" Miguel said, looking at his meal in disgust.

The waiter sighed. "It is made of the finest ox secum, chilled overnight in salt water, and mixed with the finest sheep lungs, heart, liver and fat trimmings, and two sliced onions and our chef's favorite seasonings." The waiter smiled and kissed the air in satisfaction. Tulio and Miguel, however, looked absolutely appalled.

"What the? - What are you trying to do? Poison us?! Tulio pushed the plate as far away from him as he could. "I don't want to eat a disemboweled sheep!"

"Or ox secum! Whatever that is.." Miguel shade, turning a brilliant shade of green.

The waiter snorted in disgust. "The chef slaughtered his most prized ram for you two fine nobles."

Tulio's eye twitched a little. "Well you tell the chef that he needs to buy a cookbook! Can you please just bring us simple salad please? And hold the organs."

Shocked by such rudeness, the waiter picked up the plates and smiled smugly. "Certo, lei stupido Spagnolo maiali!"

"I understand Italian, idiot." Miguel snapped. The waiter turned red with fury and embarrassment and simply huffed away. "You better check that salad for spit when he comes back." Miguel said, laughing.

Tulio shook his head "Nah, I feel to sick to eat right now. You enjoy it. I want to look around a little. I might even buy you a present." He said in a singsong voice.

"Okay. But no meats. I'm not really fond of them right now." Miguel smiled.

Tulio bent down to give Miguel a little kiss, but was stopped when a huge hand clunked onto his shoulder. "Señor Tulio and Señor Miguel. What a pleasure to see you two here." A deep, icy voice made Tulio's insides shudder. He slowly turned around to see a giant of a man with his face hidden by his cloak. It was Sancho Feo, or Diego Onofre.

"O-oh? And why is it a pleasure?" Tulio managed to squeak.

Diego laughed a half laugh, have gargling noise from his throat before he spoke. "Because I have a few gentlemen back in Spain who would love to see you. Well, see you hanging by your throats, that is."

Suddenly, a flash of metal came in front of Tulio's face and clanged into Diego's hooded one. He gave a strangled yell of pain and shock and crashed into one of the wooden tables. Tulio saw that Miguel had just slapped Diego across the face with a food tray.

"Let's go!" Tulio said, grabbing Miguel's wrist and running as fast as he could down the street and towards their apartment.

"Who was that guy?!" Miguel panted from behind him.

"I have no idea. But the guy sounded like a fucking lunatic!" Tulio said, gasping for air.

"What'll we do now?!" Miguel shouted.

"We have to leave! We're not safe here! We need-" But he stopped in his tracks, making Miguel collide into him. Diego was standing was standing right in front of them.

"How did- we just left you!" Tulio stammered.

"You two will soon learn out that I am not you average man." He growled, and lunged forward.

But Tulio jumped out of the way, pulling Miguel with him. Diego bounced on the ground but was up in no less than a second. "How sweet." He snarled, looking at Tulio and Miguel embrace each other. "But also sickening. You see, I am against homos like yourselves. Hmm. I think I'll torture you both before I bring you back to Spain."

But before he finished his sentence, Tulio and Miguel began sprinting as fast as they could away from him. "Ah, they're heading for the woods." He whispered. "Perfect."

-------------

Tulio collapsed onto a tree, panting so hard that it hurt to breathe. Both he and Miguel were soaked with sweat and their feet were positively killing them. After several long minutes, Miguel finally croaked, "Now what?"

And for the first time in his life, Tulio said, "I don't know."

Miguel limped over and sat down next to Tulio. "Well, I guess we're going to have to keep running for the rest of our lives." He sighed. "Or at least until that. thing dies. Was that even a man?"

"Sure as hell didn't sound like one. He sounded like some mad dog or something." Tulio rubbed his head, desperately thinking of a plan. But he found nothing. Sadly, he pulled Miguel close to him and began running his fingers through his golden hair. "I wouldn't worry though. We've been running quite a long time and he sounded pretty sick. I don't think- YEEEOW!!!" Tulio screamed, making Miguel jump away from him in surprise.

"What is it?! What's wrong?!" Miguel shouted.

"Something bit me or something! On the back of my shoulder! Get it!" Tulio said, clawing his shoulder and trying to reach it.

Miguel crawled over and pulled out the thing that had "bit" Tulio. "It's a dart." Miguel said, showing Tulio a long wooden dart with feathers tied to it. Suddenly, as quick as lightening, another swooped through the air and impaled itself into Tulio's leg, barely missing Miguel.

"OOOW!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" Tulio screamed. He turned his head in the direction in which the dart came from, and there was Diego, holding a tube in his hand. "Oh no! Get up! Run!"

He and Miguel started to run, but Tulio felt something wrong. He became more and more heavy with every step, his vision began to blur, and he was growing extremely tired. "Miguel!" he tried to cry out, but it came out as a small whimper. He finally fell to the ground, exhausted and afraid. Before he fell into unconsciousness, he heard the man laughing. "I'll go after your little friend later. But first, I think I'll have a little fun with you."

And then, all went black.

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