'Wheres Mama?' Part One: Who's everyone & Who's Mama!

Taylor decided that one day he would go to the park with his cat, Mama. On the way there he saw Isaac.

" Where are you going, Ike?" he politely asked.

" I am going to the Supermarket to buy some milk for mum," he replied. " Do you want to come?"

Taylor thought about that. He was already on his way to the park with Mama but it might be more fun to go to the supermarket with Isaac. And what about poor Mama? Would she want to go with Isaac?

" I'd better ask Mama first," Taylor said. "Mama, do you want to go to the supermarket with Isaac or go to the park ?"

Mama looked at Taylor with her small putrid eyes and swished her tail. It looked like she was scowling.

Taylor decided that he would go to the supermarket with Isaac.

" Cool. " said Ike.

On the way there, Ike babbled on about what they were doing at home-school lately.

" Don't you think that the spelling words we are doing at the moment are really hard?" said Isaac.

" Yes, I do," replied Taylor. " Don't we have a test tomorrow?"

" Yes! Oh no I forgot!" exclaimed Isaac. " Will you test me please?"

"Sure, I always put a copy of our spelling words in my pocket in case we go to Nana's and she wants to test me on them, " said Taylor.

"Thank you very much!" said Ike, with a discussing sigh of relief.

" Okay, here's the first one- help."

Ike looked up into the sky with a confused look in his eyes. " Help, how do they expect us to know that one? Do they think we're magic or something?"

Taylor shrugged. " Try the next one. The next word is - fun. "

" I don't know!" Ike bent down and grabbed a handful of pretty purple flowers out of a nice elderly ladies garden. It was then when he saw the old woman, kneeling down at the foot of a rose bush, pulling out weeds.

" Hey, young lady, don't touch my polyanthus, " she cried in an old croaky voice that only old people are capable of.

" Oh shut up, old hag." Ike said and with that, he gave her a weak shove and she fell face first into the rose.

Ike and Tay slapped each other a high five and ran away laughing.

" That was cool," Ike said in his best Butthead impersonation. ( which wasn't very good )

And the two little devils had gotten away with their first bad thing of the day.

" O kay, back to the spelling. Next word is - nice. " Taylor looked grimly at Isaac, knowing what the monster was about to do.

" Oooooooooooh!!!!! That’s too hard! I HATE this!!" and with that Ike thrust the purple petals out of his hand and grabbed Mama. Mama screeched, but Ike wouldn't let go.

" Isaac put Mama down, calm down, I'll let you use my new 'Belville' lego when we get home!" Taylor pleaded.

The calmness returned to Ike's normally relaxed, ugly face and he gently placed the cat down. "Will you?" he asked with amazement in his voice.

" Yes, I will. I am willing to share anything with my favorite older brother," Taylor said.

" Thank you Tay, I've been jealous of you having that lego since the day you got it." said Ike.

" Really? If you'd said so earlier I would have let you play with it before now." Tay said, with a sickly sweetness in his voice.

" I'll remember that next time," said Ike with a twinkle in his eye.

By now the had arrived at the supermarket. Four guys were sitting on a bench outside the entrance.

" Hey, Tay, why are those guys over there staring at us?" asked Ike.

" Hey, I don't know!" Taylor said, feeling quite special.

One of the guys bent forward and whistled. " Hey babe, haven’t seen you around before, where've you been?"

" Well.......... " Ike started.

" Not you!" another guy said. "That babe beside you."

" Ooh, the nerve of some people!" Tay exclaimed as they entered the supermarket.

Ike and Taylor purchased the container of milk and walked out of the supermarket. Isaac pretended that he was a Grandma. People stared. Taylor looked down in shame. Ike thought he was funny.

" I hope those guys aren't there anymore," said Taylor. " They make me feel really uncomfortable."

Lucky for Tay, the guys were gone. But another unexpected person was there.

" Zac!!" Ike cried. " What are you doing here?"

In all the surprise, Ike had not noticed what Zac was doing but Taylor had.

" Zac stop that!" said the only sane Hanson, Tay.

Naughty little Zac had been throwing stones at two lovable little cocker spaniels sitting helplessly, tied to a bike stand beside the carpark. The two dogs, who had been whining like mad, were now sitting down taking the blows from the stones like Homer Simpson, because they were so dazed.

" What?" Zac asked innocently. " I'm doing nothing out of the ordinary."

" You stupid boy, you could kill those dogs if you keep doing that!" Tay exclaimed.

" Huh, not that you've never killed a dog in your life," smart little Zac shot back.

Taylor looked at Isaac helplessly, " Ike, do something!"

" But I was quite enjoying seeing those two pooches being pampered by Zac, " Ike laughed at his own pathetic joke.

" But that’s not the point!" Taylor said. " Isaac, if you don't stop Zac now I will tell Jessica about what you did last night."

Zac looked curiously at Isaac. "What did you do Ike?" he asked.

Isaac turned beet red. " N..n.. nothing," he stammered. " I did nothing, nothing at all."

In all his eleven years of experience on this earth, Zac could tell when his ugly brother, who bared a distinct resemblance to his favorite character, Chewbacca, was lying. Zac cocked his head and looked at Isaac with a sly look on his face. " What did you do Ike?" he repeated.

Isaac said nothing.

Taylor started to smile. " I'll tell you what he did, " he said. "He pre ......."

" NO Tay, don't tell him!!!!!" Ike pleaded.

Taylor continued, " He pretended that one of Jessie's barbies was Pamela Lee, it was really gross, and he was going, oh Pammy, oh Pam, oh, yeah. It was so funny."

Zac burst out laughing. " Ew! Gross! That's disgusting."

" Yeah Ike, why didn't you use your own Barbie?" asked Tay.

Taylor and Zac looked at each other and put their fingers in their mouths and started making sick noises.

" Guys, don't tease me!" whined Isaac. "You just don't know what it's like to be a man."

" Huh, some man." said Tay, in a mean voice.

" Hey speaking of barbies, Zac aren't you grounded? Yes Zac, you are grounded. Now I remember, you are grounded for playing with Avery's barbies and cutting their hair when you were pretending the barbies were at the hairdressers when Avie specifically told you not to." prodded Ike.

" Ike you are such a trouble maker. If Mum finds out I'm here she won't let me do the interview with Barbie magazine and you know I've been looking forward to it ." Zac said, a pout on his round, girlish face.

" Well that’s too bad. If you tell Jessie..." Ike warned.

" No I won't tell her!" said Zac. " Just don't tell Mum please!"

" Well......" Isaac pretended to think. " I won't tell her."

" Thanks Ike! You're the best bother anyone could have." Zac ran over to Isaac and gave him a huge hug.

" Aw, shucks!" said Ike. ( He is such a dick!!)

Zac looked up at Taylor. "you won't tell Mum will you, Tay?"

" Of course I won't. " Taylor said, and he ran over and joined his brothers in a group hug, much to the disgust of passers by.

A small child was walking by with his mother. " Mum, what does gay mean?" he asked.

The mother glanced at the boys. " Go ask those boys," she said.

" Oh it's alright." he said.

Taylor, Isaac and Zac broke apart and made their way home.

"Where's Mama?" said Tay.

Part two coming up next week.