Part 16
"What's wrong?" Micheal asked. Back to silverchair stuff
"Who, me?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah what?"
Micheal was also now confused. "Err, what were we talking about?"
"I think about names, weren't we?" Junta chipped in.
"Oh, well, my name is Micheal."
"Yeah, I knew that..."
"Oh. How?"
"What do you mean?"
"Er, I dunno."
"Me neither."
KelNino was getting very aggravated by now. "Okay! Screw the nicknames, his name is Mikey, okay? I call him Mikey. Therfore, you all will call him Mikey! Does that clear everything up?" The group nodded. Just then, Jimmy arrived from the cocktail bar with some alcoholic beverage.
"Hey, what's up?" he said as if he was half asleep.
"Hey Yimmy, watcha got there?" Mikey pointed to Jimmy's drink.
"Oh, it's some house mix. The dudes call it a 'bongo.'"
"What's in it?" KelNino was staring at the paper umbrella, poised to steal it when Jimmy might not be looking.
"Er, lotsa stuff. Some Jack Daniels, some orange liquor, some Baileys, err, I think there's some Absolut vodka in here too. Good stuff..." He took a long sip.
"Hey, lemme have some." Ben took up the glass and swigged some down. "Damn, I'm feelin' kinda loopy. That's some strong liquor..." Ben handed the glass back to Jimmy and headed to the cocktail bar himself, returning shortly with a very tall glass of the house mix. Ben offered Daniel the glass.
"No," Daniel replied bluntly. "The workers that harvested the hops in that alcohol may have had pets that were eating canned dog food that was processed from horse meat...I just couldn't bring myself to drink something mixed by someone who had a pet with a lack of morals." Daniel turned up his nose.
"Okay then, Mr. No Meat," Ben replied. He whipped out a piece of beef jerky and chewed on it loudly in Daniel's ear. "Say," he said through his mouthful of jerky. "What does Sweep eat? Purina One, right? Didn't that commercial say it was made with real lamb's-"
"No!" Daniel screamed and covered his ears. "It's not true!" He was shaking again.
KelNino picked up Daniel's backpack and rummaged through it. Hmmm, CD's, Trojans (what would he need those for, with Natalie gone?), mustard, cat litter scoop...and there it was! KelNino pulled out the bag of dog treats and began to read the ingredients...
"Hmm - hey, Daniel, we've got corn starch, artificial flavorings and preservatives...oh look at this, fatty tissues and processed lamb...oh! And processed beef too!" Daniel's eyes widened as KelNino pulled out a yummy dog treat. Sweep came running over, wagging her tail furiously. "Oh do you want some, Sweepy? Here ya go." KelNino tossed Sweep the treat which she caught in midair.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Daniel shrieked. He leapt forward and pried Sweep's jaws open, but she had already swallowed the tasty meatybone. "No! Sweep! You poor innocent thing..." He held Sweep close, crying like a third-grade girl.
Meanwhile, KelNino and Junta were laughing hysterically. "What a sissy! Haahaha...ha..." KelNino tried to stifle her giggles as Ash and dreamer gave her dirty looks. KelNino turned to see the Neo-Bathroom Pioneers staring at her.
"Hehe, err. You see...haha...it's just this joke...hahaha." KelNino tried to explain her actions and Daniel's behavior, but could not control her laughing. Daniel picked up Sweep and sat down in the corner with his shoulder's shaking.
"Well..." said Ben with a smile. "Now we know what Daniel feeds that dog! Haha, HE FEEDS HER MEAT! WHAT KIND OF AN ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVIST IS HE!?" He yelled loud enough for Daniel to hear, upon which Daniel buried his face in Sweep's coat and cried louder.
Redwing raised an eyebrow and asked, "What is wrong with that crapweasel?"
"Daniel is a vegan and animal rights activist," answered fireangel.
"Oh, in the pop-ruled future all we have to eat is chopped vegetables and Bubble Yum...those 'treats' look gooood..." he trailed off, his eyes on Daniel's backpack.
Daniel wailed from the corner, practically choking Sweep.
"Arti-mmg-ficial," Redwing said while munching on the treats.
"You guys, we need to get to work. Time is passing and if we miss the time to kill her we may never get the chance again, and you will be doomed!" Junta said, motioning to the Neo-Pioneers.
On that, they left the basement headquarters. The sun was breaking on the horizon.
"Whoa, have we been up all night?" Ada wondered.
"Uh, I do it all the time," Jimmy replied. "Me and my bitch, we bang around all night-"
"No you don't, Jimmy. Your 'bitch' is a virgin," KelNino interrupted him as the group walked along.
"Shut up, Kelly. You deserved what she said to you. It's just not cool to steal a guy's hat..."
"Especially from someone with hathair like you, Yimmy. Hahaha."
"Yeah, whatever..." Jimmy mumbled.
"What are your plans, Ms. KelNino?" Redwing inquired.
"Uh, why don't we go blow up the temporary stage by Water Waves? At least we can postpone a Boyz II Men concert, right?" The group agreed (except for Shayla, she wanted to go back and get another bongo). KelNino packed everyone into her yellow Xterra, which had somehow followed her back in time, and they drove to Water Waves. The Neo- and original Bathroom Pioneers slid past the guards' tower and jumped the iron gate.
"KelNino..." Redwing whispered. "How do you plan to destroy the stage? We don't have any ammo or firepower..." KelNino stifled a laugh and let Ada explain.
"Trust me, Redwing, we have *lots* of that," she reassured him, sparks flashing in her eyes.
"Hey, Saurus?" Robin called. Saurus came over innocently. "Say, is that a banana in your - "
"Robin, shut up!" dreamer covered Robin's mouth and the last of his sentence was lost in her palm. "Hehe, never mind him, Saurus...." She faked a smile. Robin broke free.
"Damn, woman! What'd you do that for?"
"So you wouldn't embarrass us all, stupid. Quit with the banana stuff, okay?"
Robin hunched his shoulders. "Fine. Hey Ben, got any more food?"
"Nope," Ben replied. "I only had the jerky, and I gave half to Redwing. He seems to really like the stuff." Sure enough, Redwing was munching away. "And Daniel wanted the rest of it. Only Timmy and the Lords of Underworld know why..."
"TIMMY! LIVINALIE, LIVINALIE TIMMY!" KelNino could not help but scream out. "Tih-may..."
"Nono, KelNino..." Jimmy said with a stoned smile. "It's like this....JIMMY!"
"JIMMY! Jih-may..." KelNino and Jimmy chuckled a bit before Junta interrupted them.
"Hey, stuff it, guys. Ben, what did Daniel want with the beef jerky?"
"Beats me..."
Just then they heard a stifled sob from behind the Dippin' Dots stand. fireangel and rockstar ran ahead to find Daniel sitting with Sweep. He was holding out a piece of beef jerky.
"Don't eat it Sweepy, it's bad for you. Don't eat it...please, don't eat it..." Sweep snatched the beef jerky out of his hand anyway and Daniel fought back tears again. "Okay, we'll try it again." He pulled out another piece of beef jerky. "Don't eat the jerky, Sweep. An animal like you died to make this. Don't eat it-" Sweep lept up and took the jerky from his hand again and again. Daniel started to cry.
"Hey, uh, what're you doing, Dan?" rockstar asked tentatively.
Through his tears, Daniel managed to say, "I am trying to test her and see if she really is carnivorous... we're on best out of 50 right now."
Suddenly there was a flash...but not from Ada...the Neo-Pioneers were fading back to their time!
dreamer said her last goodbyes. "Saurus, will we see each other again?" Saurus reached out to hug her, but as he reached, Ricky Martin appeared and stabbed him in the back and across the throat. dreamer cried out, but the last image she saw before Seattle left her was Saurus crumpled to the ground, Ricky hovering above him.
As the gray skies and dingy streets blackened into nothingness, KelNino thought about Redwing. She had seen him before, yes. But where? She struggled to remember, but the blackness of the time funnel was pressing the thoughts out of her mind. Suddenly, light burst upon her. She was standing among the Bathroom Pioneers in a strange place, a bright place. A place of shining pink ribbon and chirpy, flirtatious music.
"What the-?" Robin stuttered. "This isn't our time! Someone is messing with us!"
dreamer was crying hysterically. "They got him! We have to go back!"
"What's wrong, dreamer?" KelNino tried to comfort her.
"You didn't see?" dreamer sniffled.
"I did...dreamer, you couldn't have stopped it."
Fireangel stepped forward. "It's not your fault at all, you'll always see him in your dreams...you're dreamer, right?"
"That's it!" KelNino shouted. Robin gave her a funny look. "That's where I've seen him!"
"Seen who?"
"Redwing, he was the person I dreamed about for so long...I used to have these dreams every night, of a tall blonde guy. He'd always be there, no matter what the dream was about...that's where I'd seen Redwing before...but, the dreams stopped. They stopped when I joined you guys." She looked around the Bathroom Pioneers and was about to continue when 5 men in pink camouflage cocked their guns at them.
"PUT YOUR HANDS UP! WE ARE THE POP SQUAD! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR DISTURBANCE OF PEACE, CODE 69 OF THE OFFICIAL CODE OF POPOLOGY!" the leader shouted.
"Why don't you stuff that pink camo up your arse, you wanker!" Robin sassed.
"And then go wank a cow, a**hole!" Shayla joined in.
"THAT'S HARASSMENT OF AN OFFICER! HANDS UP! HANDS UP!" The group raised their hands hesitantly - where the hell *were* they? Just when an officer was about to snap pink cuffs onto Robin, a familiar voice echoed behind them.
"Don't touch them, officer!"
The officer jumped back and grabbed his gun, but KelNino was too quick. She snatched up the weapon, grabbed him, and pointed it at his head. "You move, any of you..." she said to the other officers, "and I'll blow this dude's appendix out, got that?"
"Hell, why not do it anyway!" Shayla chirped.
"Quiet, Shayla. Now, officer, I'm going to let you go. You and your officers walk slowly away, 20 paces, and count to 60. If any of you move, I'll kill you myself." She released the officer. One of the other pink camos started to whip out his pistol, so KelNino wa forced to act.
"Damn you stupid people! Rargh!" A great flash of light swept from KelNino across the ground. The men were thrown off their feet and blown to dust. "Sucks for them. Stupid, stupid, stupid people."
"Er, KelNino, dreamer..." Junta stuttered. dreamer turned with KelNino and saw Saurus and Redwing standing with them.
"So, now you've come to our time." Saurus smiled.
"B-but how?" dreamer stuttered.
"Not now," Redwing interrupted. "We're not safe here. They'll track us if we don't leave soon. Here, take this." Redwing tossed Robin a small device. "Everyone gather around him. There. Now, Mr. Faragher, press the little red button."
Robin did so, and they found themselves in a room much like the basement pad in 1993 Seattle.
dreamer quickly turned to Saurus. "How is it possible?! I saw Ricky - I saw him - "
"I know." Saurus held dreamer in his arms. "From what I heard it killed me too." The group looked at him strangely. Saurus explained, "The Neo-Bathroom Pioneers were able to revive me by magically healing my wounds with silver dust. But that isn't what saved me, what saved me was the music you had left behind. The wonderful non-pop music, it gave me strength, energy. It made me feel - it made me feel like Raine had healed me herself!"
"Raine! How do you know Raine?" KelNino questioned.
"Raine is the current leader of NBP, she's your granddaughter..."
"Crap! I have children! That blows!" She turned around and ran into Redwing.
"Oh, hey..." She blushed.